3475  Body odor

Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 03:35:45 EDT
From: FRSASSON@AOL.COM
Subject: Body odor

What is the correct way to tell a lady that her deodorant is not working, or
maybe that she should wear some deodorant.

I found it difficult to even mention it, in fear of not being able to dance
with the lady again or maybe that she would not want to talk to me again.

Ladies....Please comment on this, because maybe, the lady does not realize
that she is causing discomfort to her dancing partner because she has BO. So
how does one male dancer approach this situation?

Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 17:05:50 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: Body odor

> What is the correct way to tell a lady that her deodorant is not working,

or

> maybe that she should wear some deodorant.
>
> I found it difficult to even mention it, in fear of not being able to

dance

> with the lady again or maybe that she would not want to talk to me again.
>
> Ladies....Please comment on this, because maybe, the lady does not realize
> that she is causing discomfort to her dancing partner because she has BO.

So

> how does one male dancer approach this situation?

I have no idea. If you tell her that directly, there is no way to avoid the
resulting loss of face making her never want to dance with you again. The
only way I can think is to tell one of her female friends in a confidential
way somehow, and hope that the girl will tell her, woman to woman.
I would not know how to tell a man either. I know of one milonga in Berlin,
where the ladies have developed a warning system, telling the newcomers that
one older guy there smells. He has a hard time getting dances.
Yesterday I saw the new version of "Shall we dance". Remember that outraged
reaction when the blonde tells the Latino that his socks started smelling up
the room as soon as he took his shoes off? He goes:"WHAT?? Do you have to
tell me that?" or something, and she:"I am just being honest. If I tell you
that straight out, it might prevent you from driving the girls away in
future." The guy was fuming, the audience was grinning, and I was wondering,
whether this was meant to illustrate her character as a bitch with the
manners of an elephant in a China shop, or to illustrate "the hard time a
guy has in dance school", or to simply show what an oaf he was. What do you
think?

Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 13:46:35 -0400
From: Floyd Baker <febaker@OLM1.COM>
Subject: Re: Body odor

On Sun, 29 May 2005 17:05:50 +0900, you wrote:

>> What is the correct way to tell a lady that her deodorant is not working,
>or
>> maybe that she should wear some deodorant.
>>
>> I found it difficult to even mention it, in fear of not being able to
>dance
>> with the lady again or maybe that she would not want to talk to me again.
>>
>> Ladies....Please comment on this, because maybe, the lady does not realize
>> that she is causing discomfort to her dancing partner because she has BO.
>So
>> how does one male dancer approach this situation?
>
>I have no idea. If you tell her that directly, there is no way to avoid the
>resulting loss of face making her never want to dance with you again. The
>only way I can think is to tell one of her female friends in a confidential
>way somehow, and hope that the girl will tell her, woman to woman.
>I would not know how to tell a man either. I know of one milonga in Berlin,
>where the ladies have developed a warning system, telling the newcomers that
>one older guy there smells. He has a hard time getting dances.
>Yesterday I saw the new version of "Shall we dance". Remember that outraged
>reaction when the blonde tells the Latino that his socks started smelling up
>the room as soon as he took his shoes off? He goes:"WHAT?? Do you have to
>tell me that?" or something, and she:"I am just being honest. If I tell you
>that straight out, it might prevent you from driving the girls away in
>future." The guy was fuming, the audience was grinning, and I was wondering,
>whether this was meant to illustrate her character as a bitch with the
>manners of an elephant in a China shop, or to illustrate "the hard time a
>guy has in dance school", or to simply show what an oaf he was. What do you
>think?

I personally think we need to live with it... There are nights when
it is hot. There are nights when that lady thinks the same of the
leader.

I believe *any* mention would not be received well, even with good
intention. Perhaps if one came in from the side with a mild
'relative' remark... :-) Something as a non pointed comment...?
As in 'everyone here is really working up a sweat... Include
yourself.. I'm starting to smell like the men's locker room. Or
something perhaps with a little more fines'...? <g>

There were a few things that came to mind but I did not want to post
them... They would all upset more than help. Is there any better
clue to a person who is *consistent* in that regard, or any other
negative manner, than that they never dance? It would seem to be an
*automatic* clue-in that something is wrong. A self controlling
phenomenon like supply and demand? :-)

As in everything else..., it seems best we live our lives as best we
can. No need to tell others they don't suit us. It will either
hurt them or anger them. They live their own lives as best they
can...

Anyway..., once in awhile I *like* body odor... :-)

Which brings up another factor. We know that the nose knows, when a
new smell has arrived... But as it stays on, it diminishes. Is it
possible that we are so attuned to man made smells that we only
*think* the 'normal' smells are bad.., when we first smell them?

Breathe deep. Be a man... You may find it helps your Tango... ;->

Floyd

Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 12:53:18 -0700
From: Yale Tango Club <yaletangoclub@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Body odor

Hi all,

I agree with an earlier post that telling somebody
straight out might be hurtful. You might want to go
through a same-sex friend or community organizer. And
rather than focus on the BO, you may want to dress it
up as a recommendaton for some particularly effective
brand of anti-perspirant.

I think that the big culprit is not fresh sweat but
stale sweat on the clothes from earlier tonight or
longer ago, due to metabolizing bacteria present.
Fresh sweat smells OK, to me at least; it's just salty
water. For the ladies, a tank or top with straps is by
far the best strategy for staying fresher longer. If
you start out fresh, of course. Also nylon and
synthetics (unless very sheer) get smelly a lot
faster than natural fabrics and rayon.

For your information, there is a huge difference
between deodorant and anti-perspirant.
Deodorant is basically underarm perfume. Applied to
sweaty skin will result in a sweaty perfumy smell.
Anti-perspirant has an aluminum compound that will
temporarily close off sweat glands so you stay drier.
Antiperspirant is a better choice for dancers, but
it's entirely preventative and won't do anything for
you after you've already perspired and become smelly.
It exists in no-fragrance invisible clear gel form, so
you can use a real fragrance separately and it won't
interfere.
https://home.howstuffworks.com/question627.htm
https://science.howstuffworks.com/question514.htm

T





--- Floyd Baker <febaker@OLM1.COM> wrote:

> On Sun, 29 May 2005 17:05:50 +0900, you wrote:
>
> >> What is the correct way to tell a lady that her
> deodorant is not working,
> >or
> >> maybe that she should wear some deodorant.
> >>
> >> I found it difficult to even mention it, in fear
> of not being able to
> >dance
> >> with the lady again or maybe that she would not
> want to talk to me again.
> >>
> >> Ladies....Please comment on this, because maybe,
> the lady does not realize
> >> that she is causing discomfort to her dancing
> partner because she has BO.
> >So
> >> how does one male dancer approach this
> situation?
> >
> >I have no idea. If you tell her that directly,
> there is no way to avoid the
> >resulting loss of face making her never want to
> dance with you again. The
> >only way I can think is to tell one of her female
> friends in a confidential
> >way somehow, and hope that the girl will tell her,
> woman to woman.
> >I would not know how to tell a man either. I know
> of one milonga in Berlin,
> >where the ladies have developed a warning system,
> telling the newcomers that
> >one older guy there smells. He has a hard time
> getting dances.
> >Yesterday I saw the new version of "Shall we
> dance". Remember that outraged
> >reaction when the blonde tells the Latino that his
> socks started smelling up
> >the room as soon as he took his shoes off? He
> goes:"WHAT?? Do you have to
> >tell me that?" or something, and she:"I am just
> being honest. If I tell you
> >that straight out, it might prevent you from
> driving the girls away in
> >future." The guy was fuming, the audience was
> grinning, and I was wondering,
> >whether this was meant to illustrate her character
> as a bitch with the
> >manners of an elephant in a China shop, or to
> illustrate "the hard time a
> >guy has in dance school", or to simply show what an
> oaf he was. What do you
> >think?
>
>
> I personally think we need to live with it... There
> are nights when
> it is hot. There are nights when that lady thinks
> the same of the
> leader.
>
> I believe *any* mention would not be received well,
> even with good
> intention. Perhaps if one came in from the side
> with a mild
> 'relative' remark... :-) Something as a non
> pointed comment...?
> As in 'everyone here is really working up a sweat...
> Include
> yourself.. I'm starting to smell like the men's
> locker room. Or
> something perhaps with a little more fines'...? <g>
>
>
> There were a few things that came to mind but I did
> not want to post
> them... They would all upset more than help. Is
> there any better
> clue to a person who is *consistent* in that regard,
> or any other
> negative manner, than that they never dance? It
> would seem to be an
> *automatic* clue-in that something is wrong. A self
> controlling
> phenomenon like supply and demand? :-)
>
> As in everything else..., it seems best we live our
> lives as best we
> can. No need to tell others they don't suit us.
> It will either
> hurt them or anger them. They live their own lives
> as best they
> can...
>
> Anyway..., once in awhile I *like* body odor...
> :-)
>
> Which brings up another factor. We know that the
> nose knows, when a
> new smell has arrived... But as it stays on, it
> diminishes. Is it
> possible that we are so attuned to man made smells
> that we only
> *think* the 'normal' smells are bad.., when we first
> smell them?
>
> Breathe deep. Be a man... You may find it helps
> your Tango... ;->
>
> Floyd
>

************************
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Date: Mon, 30 May 2005 14:28:44 -0400
From: Miguel Canals <elpibemc1961@YAHOO.CA>
Subject: Re: Body odor

--- Floyd Baker wrote:

Anyway..., once in awhile I *like* body odor... :-)

Which brings up another factor. We know that the nose
knows, when a new smell has arrived... But as it
stays on, it diminishes.....

Breathe deep. Be a man...
======================================================

Quite true, actually. I once dance with someone with
what some might consider an offensive body odor, the
type that people with chemical imbalance have.

In the beginning, it was not pleasant. But we had a
good connection and the dancing was much better than
average. By the last song of the tanda, I found that
not only did I not find the "odor" offensive. I
caught myself sniffing for it. ;-)

In that situation, my brain probably associated the
smell (no longer an odor at that point) with the
pleasant dancing that we were doing, and unconciously
(to me) turned a negative feeling into a positive one.

Yes, afterward, I did wonder, if I have picked up the
odor on my cloths. None of my partners afterward told
me anything!

Date: Mon, 30 May 2005 16:07:12 -0500
From: Leonardo Kunkayo <leonardok@MAC.COM>
Subject: Re: Body odor

On May 30, 2005, at 1:28 PM, Miguel Canals wrote:

> --- Floyd Baker wrote:
>
> Anyway..., once in awhile I *like* body odor... :-)
>

Depending on how you describe body odor. I too like the natural
fragrance of some ladies. When a woman begins to perspire her natural
fragrance becomes stronger. The fragrance usually has to do with the
persons diet. For instance garlic is strong through the pores.

The more pleasant to me have a nutty or fruity fragrance. It is a light
fragrance so unless you have good olfactory glands you may never have
noticed it before.

Underarm odor is different and can be quite unpleasant if strong
enough. I remember an extreme case when I was taking classes with a
french couple who made it a practice to never use any deodorant. Their
odor was so pungent that that it permeated the whole room and you did
not want to breath in. I felt my eyes watering from the effects. So
many people were stepping outside the room for breaths of fresh air
that after the second class in which they attended the instructor
mentioned it to them. I do not know if their feelings were hurt or they
just refused to use deodorant but they never returned.

I personally would not be offended if someone discreetly told me my
deodorant was breaking down or that I needed a breath mint. I would
appreciate it. It is not like it has to be a permanent state. It is
something that can be easily fixed if forewarned. I carry both mints
and deodorant in my bag.

May your tango prosper,
Leonardo K.

Date: Tue, 31 May 2005 03:35:44 +0000
From: Jay Rabe <jayrabe@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Body odor

----Original Message Follows----

Date: Mon, 30 May 2005 23:29:10 -0700
From: Elemer Dubrovay <dubrovay@JUNO.COM>
Subject: Fw: Re: [TANGO] Body odor

I can share an advice from a milonguero, if you don't want to have body
odor,
you can use a very small amount of "Triple Antibiotic Ointment" ,
"Bacitracin"
ETC. under the arms, even in your feet.
To solve the garlic problem, just don't eat any garlic the day that you
go to the milonga.
Remember that what is natural fragance for some is body odor for others.

Elemer in Redmond



NGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU

Date: Tue, 31 May 2005 03:35:44 +0000
Subject: Re: [TANGO-L] Body odor

----Original Message Follows----