744  Different Strokes for Different Folks

Date: Tue, 10 Sep 2002 23:17:37 EDT
From: Arthur Greenberg <AHGberg@AOL.COM>
Subject: Different Strokes for Different Folks

Hi Listeros:

It is quite normal and natural and expected that each of us derive different
things from our experiences in life as well as in the Tango environment.
Viva la difference!

If some of this is unappreciated or deemed irelevant (sp) just be patient
until you have read it all and thought about it for a few days.

When the Handsome Prince came along to kiss Snow White and awaken her from
her long sleep, all the women who like such an event and picture themselves
awakened by the kiss of her "ideal/real man" are getting their fantasy
thrills. He takes her gently but powerfully in his arms and rides off on his
white horse.....to live happily ever after! Fairy tales are supposed to end
this way!

When you are sitting patiently on the sidelines at a milonga you might be
waiting for some fantasy man to come along and invite you out onto the dance
floor and he does all the things that a woman expects from a "real man"!
Unfortunately, that fantasy of a real man, is something that probably exist
s only in one's dreams. If you do not lower your expectations you might
become the lady who never gets off her chair and cobwebs begin to cover her
person as time goes by! I willl not suggest that you lower your standards but
that you simply lower temporarily the qualification bar somewhat so that you
do not grow old and decrepid sitting and waiting for "a real man" to come
along and sweep you away!

So life, as well as one's Tango dance partner at a milonga is frequently
subjected to some considerable amount of compromise. I, as a "real man"
constantly seek to find a Tango partner who is a "real woman"! I know in my
heart that it is unlikely because I really do not know what a "real woman"
is! That aspiration, however, does not prevent me from enjoying all the
less than perfect ladies sitting like deli meat waiting for some eager but
voracious leader to come along to take advantage of their needs. I will do
my best till "a real man" comes along.

When the music plays and I take some lovely creature out on the dance floor
the magic cottage syndrome takes effect and I become a "real man" and she
becomes a "real woman".....and together we spend a few moments of fantasy as
we seek to gratify our individual needs (man-woman needs) for socializing
during some great Tango music. I try to do my very best to provide masterful
leadership to my lady on the dance floor. I must assume that she will
consent to my lead and that she for some brief moments treats me like a "real
man" and tries to enjoy me and my valiant efforts to dance a good Tango. It
is my job to try to please my partner (as well as myself)! The encounter
should be one that is mutually enjoyable; one that might be sought after to
be repeated some time later in the course of the milonga or perhaps next week.

I try to select my cleanest clothes to wear on my freshly showered body. I
shower and shave carefully to present myself as desirable (at least perhaps
not undesirable) as I possibly can. I am not handsome but I do the best I can
with what I've got! I try to be well rested and I think several hours of
Tango thoughts including listening to some tango music. I approach each
encounter with my dance partners as one that I enthusiastically and
confidently look forward to. I make an effort to be pleasant and nice as I
can be! For a brief few moments we will spend some very close embrace in
each others' arms. If it is not perfect I really have tried my best to make
it as near perfect as possible. I try to adhere to dance floor ettiquette by
staying in line of dance. I rarely bump or am bumped into since I am very
aware of what and where I am dancing. I try to keep my dancing simple but
interesting. I avoid doing "complicated tricks" that might surprise my
partner or that put her at risk of being uncomfortable or hurt. I know
hundreds of combinations but I adhere to doing less with perfect execution.

When we are fiinished and the music ends I very carefully and graciously
thank her for the dance and escort her back to where she was sitting. I
thank her at the end of the music and as I finally reach the destination of
her table or seating chair.

If I have succeeded in creating some pleasant encounter I am
sincerely gratified and hope that my partner is too! I tell her my name and
ask for hers. It seems to be a good rule that you should know the name of
the person you are dancing with!
I never ask for her telephone number or seek other personal information.

I am not looking for a life time mate! I am not looking for someone to
make mad passionate love to. When the milonga is over and there is enough
time and money we might have coffee or bacon and eggs. Otherwise I simply
want to get in my car and go home to my bed and rest up for the next
milonga. And dream those fantasies that are truly not attainable anywhere
but in fairy tales or dreams.

Is the above too much to ask for?

Different strokes for different folks!

Sincerely,
Arturo
West Pallm Beach, Florida, USA

Date: Tue, 10 Sep 2002 23:54:04 -0600
From: Tom Stermitz <Stermitz@RAGTIME.ORG>
Subject: Re: Different Strokes for Different Folks

>When we are fiinished and the music ends I very carefully and graciously
>thank her for the dance and escort her back to where she was sitting. I
>thank her at the end of the music and as I finally reach the destination of
>her table or seating chair.

I would really like to highlight this point of Arthur's.

It is not simply that "being a gentleman" is a lost art.

If the dance has been REALLY good for the lady, she finishes the
tango in a trance, her eyes are closed, and she has no idea which way
is North, South, or where her seat is. It can be very disorienting.

Please be aware that if you have succeeded well with your tango, she
deserves a walk back to her table.

Even if you haven't particularly entranced her, well it shows you are
a gentleman, which puts you ahead of the other 90%.


--

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"To my way of thinking the tango is, above all, rhythm,
nerve, force, character...I tried to restore to the tango
its masculine quality." -- Juan D'Arienzo (1949)
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Tom Stermitz
- Stermitz@Tango.org
- cell: 303-725-5963
- https://www.tango.org/dance/EternaMilonga.html