305 TangoEtiquette
Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2001 13:35:06 EST
From: Denise Montavo <FrogsTango2@AOL.COM>
Subject: TangoEtiquette
I wish that there was a way to change the character of people. I wish that
there was a way to soften the ego when it is for the common good. The Tango
is an incredible art form. It's spirit has brought healing and joy and love
over many centuries, and in these times that celebrate diversity, the Tango
is the ministry of unity and healing.
Many of us who have been bitten by the Tango can not be moved by negativity,
but in order for the Tango to grow and spread its message "unbelievers" must
met and fall in love with Tango as we have. In California there are many
talented Tango instructors, and we have been blessed by many incredible Tango
masters joining us from Buenos Aires. The Tango has grown and flourished
because the artists, the masters, the devotees who carry the "True" spirit of
the Tango in their hearts have worked diligently to introduce and to promote.
Now our legions are filling with Americans who are falling in love with the
Tango and carrying its message of Love to their everyday lives.....becoming
true Tangueros.
There are a few who come to the Tango late and who work diligently to
destroy and defame the work of others. Yes we fight among ourselves like
any society, but we always protect the Tango. These few travel around
defaming the teachers and the Buenos Aires masters who bless us with their
presence and knowledge. Defaming to cover ones inadequacies and simple evil
heart is a character flaw and I pity them.
There is always Evil present when Good flourishes, and Evil makes it harder
for us to carry the message but Evil in its ignorance seems to forget that it
Can not Win. But it must be confronted - that is our job as messengers of
the Tango. Keep it out of our Milonga's and our events let our students and
friends know that the Loudest voice is not the truth of the Tango, and they
are protected and free in the Tango Ambiance.
And even if we do nothing the Tango will live, it may have to lay dormant
again as it has many times in history, but it cannot and will not die.
Right now the spirit of the world is calling for it, the Tango rides on our
hearts, if it must be silent, we will be to blame.
Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2001 18:55:59 -0300
From: la guacha <lamasguacha@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: TangoEtiquette
Denise Montavo writes: "There is always Evil present when Good flourishes,
and Evil makes it harder for us to carry the message but Evil in its
ignorance seems to forget that it Can not Win. But it must be confronted -
that is our job as messengers of the Tango."
I was not aware that we were'messengers of the tango' I thought we were
dancers/lovers of the tango. I believe we are supposed to dance our dance
not spread the word. I have not found tango to be good or evil but rather to
be a cauldron that captures mixes and contains the full expression of both
joy and sorrow.
"but in order for the Tango to grow and spread its message "unbelievers"
must met and fall in love with Tango as we have"
I do not necessarily believe that the whole world needs to believe in tango.
I think there are those of us who turn to tango to ESCAPE the evils of the
world. It is a wonderful path we have chosen. There are many paths, Tango is
but one. And it should not be pushed upon those who do not seek it. When
this approach is employed, you can not help but create the ugly power
politics of proselytising religions of which you speak.
I was recently blessed by being able to attend a series of workshops with
La Negra. When asked what was the one most important thing for women, she
answered "to shut their mouths'! The wisdom of the maestra confirms that
"the Loudest voice is not the truth of the Tango"! It's too bad your 'evil
talkers' (men or women) were not able to take her workshop.
"Right now the spirit of the world is calling for it, the Tango rides on our
hearts, if it must be silent, we will be to blame."
Let the music speak. Trust that the ecstasy of the dance will serve as a
magnet for newcomers to push their way through all the misery and
misinformation that the tango initiation process entails. We will be to
blame only if we put ourselves on soap boxes like some kind of false
prophets hawking the 'true path' and trying to shove it down the throat and
gag the 'spirit of the world'. The wordless beauty and connection of our
dance done well is the only thing that will move the hearts of others. One
way for them to learn who the "talented (and untalented) tango instructors"
are, is by witnessing the dance of their students.
Bailar on....
la guacha
Date: Tue, 3 Jun 2003 19:58:21 EDT
From: Charles Roques <Crrtango@AOL.COM>
Subject: Etiquette
greetings,
There are lots of factors involved in behavior at a milonga. It is not so
simple as feeling a sense of community and making an effort to dance with
everyone. Smaller communities may feel that way but in larger ones, like here in NYC
or San Francisco or Berlin, etc. it is more of a microcosm of life in general,
age differences, egos, feelings, attractions, and many other things affecting
whether or not one dances with another. Not everyone dances very well; some
never will (and don't try to improve either); some learn a few steps and become
"experts"; some never learn to properly lead; some women still don't get
molinetes right after dancing for months or years; some people are just no fun to
dance with; some dance too much and become drenched in sweat; personal hygiene
may be an issue; sometimes people are just attracted to others for physical
reasons; etc, etc.
I concur that certain faux pas' are unseemly, like declining a dance with one
person only to dance with another or promising to do the next set of, say,
waltzes with you but then forgetting and dancing with someone else when they
start. But I don't think one should retaliate by reprimanding them to their face,
or in front of someone else. Why not just refuse to dance with them again?
Saying "no, thank you" to a request is not rudeness, but how you express it
might be. If you are turned down just swallow your pride and keep looking. When
I was turned down as a beginner I just became more determined to get better.
I assumed it was about my dancing even if it wasn't. It isn't difficult to
tell someone that you want to dance with that you just refused someone else and
you would like to wait for at least the next song.
As a community becomes larger, it will also become more diverse. Many people
here have been to Buenos Aires and are familiar with the cabeceo and you will
see it here. But "rules" have to be flexible at times. Some women never ask
men to dance but then others do. I am asked to dance often as are other men
here. But it isn't necessarily so overt as walking across to the man's seat - it
may arise from a conversation for example.
Unfortunately it becomes a little too much like a crusade if you start making
rules for others to follow, and worse if you try to enforce them.
But most often, exceptions duly noted, it is about the quality of your
dancing. No one owes you dances, as frustrating as it may sound. Just keep
practicing and assume it is about dancing and think about how you can improve it. Far
too many students leave out the real hard solo practicing. No, it is not
allways about dancing with the other person. Try to use that frustration energy to
work on your technique.
If none of the above works, move to the big city.
But unfortunately, it won't work here either. :-)
Charles
Date: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:35:15 -0700
From: George Nicol <george@inscenes.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Etiquette
Here are some updates to www.inscenes.com/etiquette
regarding men teaching on the milonga floor (5), basic step (9),
and photography at milongas (14).
