111  teaching on the dance floor

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Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 02:50:52 EDT
From: Sarah La Rocca <Danzisima@AOL.COM>
Subject: teaching on the dance floor

Eugenia Spitovsky wrote in response to my posting:

"Are you sure beginners can see the difference? Can they speak up even if
they do? Not really. Even if women feel
uncomfortable, physically or emotionally, they are not sure if tango
should feel this way....The rule of not teaching on a dance floor should be
well-accepted everywhere, as well-respected by everyone. Teaching during
dancing is inappropriate and should be banned everywhere."

Look, I never said anyone should be teaching on the dance floor. Where did
you get that idea? The only thing I hate more than being taught on the dance
floor is being misquoted.

I maintain that beginners aren't idiots. You may be a beginner at tango, but
you are not a beginner at life. If someone or something makes you feel bad,
uncomfortable or compromised than it IS wrong and you need to take the
responsibility for yourself and get out of there.
This is true in tango, in a taxi, in the grocery store or with your lover.
Got it?

regards,
Sarah La Rocca
NYC




Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 15:05:23 -0700
From: Judy Stockinger <judytango@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Rejecting dances/Teaching on the dance floor

I generally try not to refuse requests to dance. If
the man requesting the dance is someone I do not enjoy
dancing with either because of inexperience, "teaching
on the dance floor" behavior, or for some other
reason, I simply limit the dance to one only. A
beginner usually understands the reason for this,
others usually get the message after this happens
repeatedly.
If there is someone I truly wish to avoid dancing with
I avoid making eye contact with them, even though this
is not BA and men usually approach you to request a
dance, the avoidance of eye contact is usually
interpereted correctly.
On the few occasions that I do refuse a dance I do not
accept one with another until a new piece of music
begins...no matter how much I might want to dance with
them...I usually confide to them that I just refused
someone else and so could not possibly accept their
invitation at the moment. Most men respect this and
we will usually sit and chat until the new piece
begins..
If the leader attempts to instruct me on the dance
floor, I either ignore his comments, say "sshhhh...no
talking" or tell him kindly that I really just want to
enjoy the dance not work on a lesson.
Occassionally a beginner will ask for suggestions...I
usually tell him that he will learn what he is doing
right or wrong by the response he achieves. I do not
give unsolicited advice.
In general, I try to treat my dance partners with the
same respect and kindness with which I expect to be
treated.







Date: Mon, 27 May 2002 17:29:11 -0700
From: Judy Stockinger <judytango@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Women dancing with women and teaching on the dance floor.

Speaking as a woman who likes men and who sometimes dances with other women, as a follower, the tango I dance with a woman is not the same tango that I dance with a man. It's a completely different dynamic. There are the physical differences in being led by someone who is probably smaller and more slightly built and has other anatomical features different from my ususal partners. Then, there's the cultural aspect of women being accustomed to dancing together. Maybe it's not as common for women to dance the partnered dances togther as much as free style dancing, but we do it because it's fun and it's a good way to practice. How often do you see two women dancing salsa, cha-cha, swing, freestyle. etc. and don't think it strange or loaded with any more significance than that they are simply enjoying the music and the dance. This is of course the perspective af a woman following another woman, and who prefers to dance tango with men. The woman leader's perspective may be comp!
letely different. I also want t
o add that almost ALL of the woman who have led me in tango have been unable to heed their own advice when it comes to teaching on the dance floor (!)...and I am not a beginner, but someone who is noted for having better than average following skills.




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