3815 Cabeceo fusssssssssssss.....
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 23:54:19 +0100
From: Daniel Iannarelli <dmi@OSTEOPATH.THERAPIST.ORG.UK>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo fusssssssssssss.....
Hello cabaceo nerds >:-)))
Y'know, I really am a bit bemused and frustrated with regard to the fuss,
panic, amazement, wonder and 'nerdishness' (if that's a word - good ol'
"anorak" is more fitting but Americans tend not to understand that reference
:-)) about all this 'cabaceo' guff...
The way I look at it is that it is simply a natural anthropological way of
getting another's attention. In this case, it's applied to Tango and is the
peculiar (in the eyes of the rest of the world) method by which Argentines -
possibly from the inception of the tango as a dance - invites a lady up to
dance.
When I first visited BsAs for tango as a lowly - lowest of the low :-) -
beginner 8 years ago, I saw this gorgeous Argie woman (whom I fancied)
sitting alone in Confiteria L'Ideal at a milonga one evening. Well, being a
hot-blooded Italian-Brit I just HAD to get in the clinches with her. "How do
I do that?" I asked myself. "I know...I'll ask her up to dance and apply the
charm!". Now, being the gentleman my dear ol' dad brought me up to be, I
swaggered across the floor to her table and duly asked her to do me the
honour of dancing with me. Well, waddya know...! ...she refused! :-( So, I
found the walk back to my table long, lonely and embarrassing - not to
mention the feeling of rejection and hurt pride!
Giving the lady her due though, she thoughtfully approached my table later
on and explained things to me (she spoke great English; proper British
English, of course >:-)). She told me that here in BsAs they don't walk up
to a table and ask a lady to dance. If the lady doesn't want to dance, it
puts her in an embarrassing and awkward situation; if she refuses, it puts
her potential suitor in an embarrassing and awkward situation and makes his
long walk back to his seat unpleasant. The situation becomes a distress for
both parties. She told me that what they do is catch each other's eye to
indicate from a distance the wish to dance with one or the other. This saves
a lot of distress and unnecessary embarrassment. Needless to say, I learnt
my lesson.
Now, wherever I am in the world dancing tango...that's all I do. I NEVER
walk up to a woman personally and ask her to dance. Unfortunately however,
it can and has backfired. On occasions in which I have been unable to
establish eye-contact (because the lady is unaware of this mating ritual)
I've often been beaten by some ignorant (I don't mean this in a derogatory
way - I mean ignorant of the so-called 'cabaceo') guy who has just walked
directly up to the target while I've been standing there bobbing my head
like a lunatic parrot successfully personally inviting her to dance...!
Anyway, back to the anthropological explanation. That's all it is...
anthropological!
When you walk down the street and pass someone with whom you're not too well
acquainted but yet know the person to 'nod' to perhaps, what do you do?
...you raise your eyebrows naturally, and perhaps tip the head slightly and,
depending on our knowledge of the person, perhaps add a glint in the eyes or
screw up the eyes a little.
Analyse it... again, as I've insisted, it's natural, normal and
...anthropological. Even apes do it (a natural 'cabaceo', that is... not
tango - although who knows with some guys I've seen trying to dance tango
>:-))))). Like it or not, it's a part of human - and simian - nature.
What I'm trying to express is that this 'cabaceo' needs no analysis to the
extent of the 'discussions' that are bandying about on this list. It is not
some sort of Argie secret weapon or code. It's a normal part of human nature
the world over. The only difference is that in some places, a lady may be
insulted by a guy not walking up to her and asking for her company in a
dance. They may see it like a guy on a first date driving up to her house
and tooting the horn rather than getting out of the car and walking up to
the door to collect her, while in BsAs it's the accepted and expected thing
to do.
However, all said and done, I repeat... it is NOT some sort of secret
technique that has to be practiced and rehearsed with the head being tipped
at exactly the correct angle and the look like a long lost puppy dog by
which the only response would be a team of white-coated men dropping a net
over the perpetrator. The Argentines on this list must all be laughing at
all the fuss being tossed around about this issue.
Simply just catch the lady's eye, raise the eyebrow(s) and give an
affirmative nod if necessary to clinch the deal... whatever that 'deal'
might be >:-)
That's ALL it is.
All the best,
Dani
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 16:25:47 -0700
From: Derik Rawson <rawsonweb@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo fusssssssssssss.....
Dear Dani, Exactly. Much to do about nothing. It is
just a nice subtle and natural way to
communicate....no big deal. Derik
--- TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
<dmi@OSTEOPATH.THERAPIST.ORG.UK> wrote:
> Hello cabaceo nerds >:-)))
>
> Y'know, I really am a bit bemused and frustrated
with regard to the
> fuss,
> panic, amazement, wonder and 'nerdishness' (if
that's a word - good ol'
> "anorak" is more fitting but Americans tend not to
understand that
> reference
> :-)) about all this 'cabaceo' guff...
>
> The way I look at it is that it is simply a natural
anthropological way
> of
> getting another's attention. In this case, it's
applied to Tango and is
> the
> peculiar (in the eyes of the rest of the world)
method by which
> Argentines -
> possibly from the inception of the tango as a dance
- invites a lady up
> to
> dance.
>
> When I first visited BsAs for tango as a lowly -
lowest of the low :-) -
> beginner 8 years ago, I saw this gorgeous Argie
woman (whom I fancied)
> sitting alone in Confiteria L'Ideal at a milonga one
evening. Well,
> being a
> hot-blooded Italian-Brit I just HAD to get in the
clinches with her.
> "How do
> I do that?" I asked myself. "I know...I'll ask her
up to dance and apply
> the
> charm!". Now, being the gentleman my dear ol' dad
brought me up to be, I
> swaggered across the floor to her table and duly
asked her to do me the
> honour of dancing with me. Well, waddya know...!
...she refused! :-( So,
> I
> found the walk back to my table long, lonely and
embarrassing - not to
> mention the feeling of rejection and hurt pride!
>
> Giving the lady her due though, she thoughtfully
approached my table
> later
> on and explained things to me (she spoke great
English; proper British
> English, of course >:-)). She told me that here in
BsAs they don't walk
> up
> to a table and ask a lady to dance. If the lady
doesn't want to dance,
> it
> puts her in an embarrassing and awkward situation;
if she refuses, it
> puts
> her potential suitor in an embarrassing and awkward
situation and makes
> his
> long walk back to his seat unpleasant. The situation
becomes a distress
> for
> both parties. She told me that what they do is catch
each other's eye to
> indicate from a distance the wish to dance with one
or the other. This
> saves
> a lot of distress and unnecessary embarrassment.
Needless to say, I
> learnt
> my lesson.
>
> Now, wherever I am in the world dancing
tango...that's all I do. I NEVER
> walk up to a woman personally and ask her to dance.
Unfortunately
> however,
> it can and has backfired. On occasions in which I
have been unable to
> establish eye-contact (because the lady is unaware
of this mating
> ritual)
> I've often been beaten by some ignorant (I don't
mean this in a
> derogatory
> way - I mean ignorant of the so-called 'cabaceo')
guy who has just
> walked
> directly up to the target while I've been standing
there bobbing my head
> like a lunatic parrot successfully personally
inviting her to dance...!
>
> Anyway, back to the anthropological explanation.
That's all it is...
> anthropological!
>
> When you walk down the street and pass someone with
whom you're not too
> well
> acquainted but yet know the person to 'nod' to
perhaps, what do you do?
> ...you raise your eyebrows naturally, and perhaps
tip the head slightly
> and,
> depending on our knowledge of the person, perhaps
add a glint in the
> eyes or
> screw up the eyes a little.
>
> Analyse it... again, as I've insisted, it's natural,
normal and
> ...anthropological. Even apes do it (a natural
'cabaceo', that is... not
> tango - although who knows with some guys I've seen
trying to dance
> tango
> >:-))))). Like it or not, it's a part of human - and
simian - nature.
>
> What I'm trying to express is that this 'cabaceo'
needs no analysis to
> the
> extent of the 'discussions' that are bandying about
on this list. It is
> not
> some sort of Argie secret weapon or code. It's a
normal part of human
> nature
> the world over. The only difference is that in some
places, a lady may
> be
> insulted by a guy not walking up to her and asking
for her company in a
> dance. They may see it like a guy on a first date
driving up to her
> house
> and tooting the horn rather than getting out of the
car and wa
=== Message Truncated ===
Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2005 02:06:30 +0000
From: Lucia <curvasreales@YAHOO.COM.AR>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo fusssssssssssss.....
Dani,
You are right, the Argentines are laughing their heads off - but so are the Americans and all those with a sense of humor, and we all eye each other and dance happily...
Why wouldn't you, Milord, loosen that superior, British upper-lip, catch my eye and dance with me? Like Edit Piaf sang:
Souriez-moi, Milord! - Smile to me, Milord...
Mieux qu' ca! Un petit effort.. - Do a little better, a small effort.
Voilଠc'est ca! - That's it!
Allez, riez, Milord! - C'mon, laugh Milord!
Allez, chantez, Milord! - C'mon, sing Milord!
La-la-la...
Mais oui, dansez, Milord! - Yes, yes, dance Milord!
La-la-la... Bravo Milord!
La-la-la... Encore Milord!... More Milord -La-la-la...
Lucia
Daniel Iannarelli <dmi@OSTEOPATH.THERAPIST.ORG.UK> escribis:
Hello cabaceo nerds >:-)))
Y'know, I really am a bit bemused and frustrated ...- good ol'
"anorak" is more fitting but Americans tend not to understand that reference
:-)) about all this 'cabaceo' guff..
The Argentines on this list must all be laughing at
all the fuss being tossed around about this issue.
All the best,
Dani
Abrm tu cuenta aqum
Sent: Samstag, 17. September 2005 18:31
To: TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
Subject: Re: [TANGO-L] Cabeceo fusssssssssssss.....
Oops. My previuos message was sent too early.
What I was trying to say is:
Speaking of this, I'm sure there are others that have
employed this method of communication at restaurants
to get the waiter's attention.
I often toss off a stare and a nod at my waiter to
call them over to my table. Sometimes to the suprise
of my dinner companions who ask me "how did you do
that?"
Regards,
Rose
Portland, OR
