3830  Cabeceo and tandas

Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 10:33:27 -0600
From: Chas Gale <hotchango@MSN.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

Like most tango-l arguments over which end of the egg to crack, I had every
intention of leaving this one alone. Then I started seeing words like:
"compliance", "education", "in-a-perfect-world", "traditions", "disrespect",
"rules",
"enforcement", "rules-of-entry", "country-bumpkins", "disobedient",
"behaving",
"losing-face", "nice and civilized", "standing up to brutality", and an
unyielding, vehement chagrin by some for
those who fail to leave the dance floor, or even, may The Holy Cosmic Muffin
save us,
dance during cortinas.

Kids, honestly, listen to yourselves! This complaint started from a DJs
perspective. As DJs, what possible difference does it make to us if people
leave the dance floor during cortinas or not? What do we care? How are we
injured? Hell, what business is it of ours!?

This very subject was cover by Hollywood in a 1984 release call Footrest,
staring Kevin Pigmeat. It depicts a young rebel in a small Utah town who
refused to leave the dance floor, and even dares to dance during cortinas.
The
"adults" of the community are shocked at his audacity and fear his
influence on their youngins' would surely take them on the road to ruin,
drug dealing, prostitution, and worst of all, voting democrat. In the end
the young rebel showed everyone that remaining on the dance floor during
cortinas would not cause syphilis, birth defects, or an eternity in hell's
damned nation, and life was richer for all.

Didn't we learning anything from this? After all, if not Hollywood, who
better then to teach us functional living?

One person suggested in an effort to stop this reprehensible "misbehavior",
that cortinas might consist of the DJ telling we po' dumb fools what to do
and how to act like the voices at airports.... I can hear it now: "No
standing or stopping in the white zone. Those failing to leave the dance
floor during cortinas will be arrested. Those dancing during cortinas will
be shot. No talking. Dance invitations will be made by staring around the
room like a lost child or one of those guys wearing their underwear outside
their pants downtown who stand on the sidewalk arguing with themselves,
until you catch the eye of a potential partner at which point you will make
various jerky motions with your head and eyes until said partner realizes
you are asking for a dance, or that partner agrees to dance with the man who
had balls enough to walk right up and ask, at which point you will sit down,
shut up, and wait for the next change-your-partner-music."

Yeah, this is a good idea. In what other ways might we enlist the help of
the DJ. As we all know, the DJ is the tango equivalent of Amy Vanderbilt:
always ready with the most appropriate thing to say or do in any social
situation. Why, he/she could offer advice such as: "Allen, that tie doesn't
go with that shirt." "Audrey, your skirt is tucked into the back of your
pantyhose." "Ralph, there is toilet paper stuck to your shoe." or "Alice,
for God sake have a mint.". Yeah, right. For any one of you who believe that
the
average DJ is a good source for etiquette advice, perhaps I could interest
you in a bridge I own in New York.

If you took a poll I'm sure you would find that most tango DJs worked in the
Audio/Video Department in High School. These were the guys with glasses
taped
together in at least two places, pushing around movie or slide projectors to
show such classics as The Reproductive Habits of The Fruit Bat. The A/V
department offered a limited opportunity to raise Nerdism to an art form.
Tango DJing is the grownup equivalent of the High School A/V department.
Robert Hauk calls tango the Nerds Revenge. I submit that it is not tango,
but tango DJing that is The Revenge Of The Nerds.

This thread was truly inspiring. There are SO many places to go with it. I
could wax on one person's failure to understand how anyone could dance to
Elvis: a man who recorded many great swing tunes. Or the fact that she
"hates" people who start dancing before the end of the introduction. Again I
would ask, what do you care? What business is it of yours? Why bother
ourselves with the preferences of other people that have no impact on us? Or
the person who tells us that the 70 year old ballroomers in his community
have developed their own version of cabeceo. At 70 I don't wonder. Better
save your energy for the dance and don't take any long fruitless trips
across a large crowded dance hall.... "Hogging good dancers, "tanda
boundaries", "success vs. failure ratios", I could go on and on. More
abundant
fodder for comedy I have never seen. But alas, you exhaust me. My
inspiration
is warn out.

I didn't know where to begin and now I don't know where to end... How about
with the most outrageous remarks of the threat which came not from Derik,
but from Michael The Hamster:
"""Being in a free country doesn't mean we treat traditions
with disrespect. We require people to follow the line of dance, watch
where they're going and not run into other dancers, not hold protracted
conversations in the middle of the ronda, etc., why not require them to
clear the floor after a cortina? If the milonga etiquette rules are
posted somewhere, and a condition of entry is that you abide by them,
then enforcing compliance is easy. If you don't like it, here's your
money back, there's the door, have a nice evening, bye-bye."""

Now Mike, is this REALLY the milonga you want to attend. With Brownshirt
enforcers, escorting to the door those who commit the most benign social
faux pas? I can see your "conditions of entry" now: "Yu vill leave za dance
floor at zee end off zee tanda und yu vill like it!" Please Michael, tell me
you jest. I reject totally the notion that failing to leave the dance floor
during cotinas in Washington state is somehow disrespectful of an Argentine
"tradition". Within the past two weeks an Argentine declared that for
anyone,
anywhere to dance tango to a non-tango tune was disrespectful of his
heritage. Will you stop doing that!? This is no different than telling me I
must drink wine, eat beef and speak spanish to know the tango. Is the
Argentine culture so thin that a few superficial changes will make me
Argentine?

---My Bottom Line,

Cabeceo and the tanda system are elaborate schemes designed for one purpose:
To coddle over inflated and fragile egos. Of that most everyone agrees. I
thank the Mighty Hairy Wonderer that my ego is secure enough to withstand
something as insignificant as
being turned down for a dance. My "face" is not at risk when I ask for a
dance. It doesn't need saving.

WE ARE NOT IN BUENOS AIRES! (exceptions to those who actually are in Buenos
Aires) This is a perfectly valid point brought by anyone who wishes not to
be restricted by the social idiosyncrasies of a foreign culture simply
because they wish to dance tango. I started using a look to get a dance
during my brief tolerance of disco, circa 1978. Most men can tell you the
risk of approaching 3 women sitting together in a night club. Being turned
down for a dance is the least of his worries. The cabeceo is useful but what
would be far more useful is challenging the ego (male AND female) to the
point that we can know we are not defined by what someone else thinks of us.

I'll change partners when I'm finished dancing with her, or she me. I'm not
waiting for the partner changing music like it was a game show. "Oh, I'm
sorry contestants, that music means we're out of time. Please come back and
play our game again."

Chas "That sound means we're out of time." Gale
https://www.thetangohouse.com

Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 13:43:52 -0400
From: WHITE 95 R <white95r@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

Bravo Charles!

This is the best and funniest post I've read in a long time ;) You are 100%
right and I applaud your good sense and effort to write it.

Common sense to all,

Manuel

(no brown shirts at any of our milongas ;-))



visit our webpage
www.tango-rio.com

>From: Chas Gale <hotchango@MSN.COM>
>
>Like most tango-l arguments over which end of the egg to crack, I had every
>intention of leaving this one alone. Then I started seeing words like:
>"compliance", "education", "in-a-perfect-world", "traditions",
>"disrespect",
>"rules",
>"enforcement", "rules-of-entry", "country-bumpkins", "disobedient",
>"behaving",
>"losing-face", "nice and civilized", "standing up to brutality", and an
>unyielding, vehement chagrin by some for
>those who fail to leave the dance floor, or even, may The Holy Cosmic
>Muffin
>save us,
>dance during cortinas.
>
>Kids, honestly, listen to yourselves! This complaint started from a DJs
>perspective. As DJs, what possible difference does it make to us if people
>leave the dance floor during cortinas or not? What do we care? How are we
>injured? Hell, what business is it of ours!?
>

----------And much other good stuff------------------

Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 15:14:48 -0700
From: Michael at Tango Bellingham <michaele@TANGOBELLINGHAM.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

Here we go again....

Chas Gale wrote:

>
> I didn't know where to begin and now I don't know where to end... How
> about with the most outrageous remarks of the threat which came not
> from Derik, but from Michael The Hamster: """Being in a free country
> doesn't mean we treat traditions with disrespect. We require people
> to follow the line of dance, watch where they're going and not run
> into other dancers, not hold protracted conversations in the middle
> of the ronda, etc., why not require them to clear the floor after a
> cortina? If the milonga etiquette rules are posted somewhere, and a
> condition of entry is that you abide by them, then enforcing
> compliance is easy. If you don't like it, here's your money back,
> there's the door, have a nice evening, bye-bye."""
>
> Now Mike, is this REALLY the milonga you want to attend. With
> Brownshirt enforcers, escorting to the door those who commit the most
> benign social faux pas? I can see your "conditions of entry" now: "Yu
> vill leave za dance floor at zee end off zee tanda und yu vill like
> it!" Please Michael, tell me you jest. I reject totally the notion
> that failing to leave the dance floor during cotinas in Washington
> state is somehow disrespectful of an Argentine "tradition". Within
> the past two weeks an Argentine declared that for anyone, anywhere to
> dance tango to a non-tango tune was disrespectful of his heritage.
> Will you stop doing that!? This is no different than telling me I
> must drink wine, eat beef and speak spanish to know the tango. Is the
> Argentine culture so thin that a few superficial changes will make
> me Argentine?
>

Nice Nazi trivialization there - Godwin's Law has been invoked. I'll let
the relatives of Holocaust survivors deal with that one. Meanwhile, you
totally missed the point - the rules are posted, if you don't like it,
don't come. But if you show up, there's a social contract that we all
agree to abide by, and if you decide to flaunt it, the organizer has the
right to show you the door. You go to a basketball game, you agree not
to throw beer on the players you don't like or each other - oh wait....

I'd *love* to show you the door, Chas, I *really* would - please come to
one of our milongas and do something silly so you can have that
experience. The bay is just close enough that with some good hang time
(maybe flapping your arms would help), you might actually land in nice,
soft water. ;-)

>
> WE ARE NOT IN BUENOS AIRES! (exceptions to those who actually are in
> Buenos Aires) This is a perfectly valid point brought by anyone who
> wishes not to be restricted by the social idiosyncrasies of a foreign
> culture simply because they wish to dance tango.

Oh puh-leeze! The American cult of narcissism. Reminds me of that quote
from Monty Python and the Holy Grail": "Come see the violence inherent
in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed." That's such a lame
excuse - again, if you don't want to be "restricted by the social
idiosyncrasies of a foreign culture", DON'T COME! Besides, why don't we
try it *their* way before we go off and start messing up stuff like we
usually do?

Michael (re-arranging the wood shavings in the bottom of his cage)
Tango Bellingham

Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 08:03:01 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

> > Now Mike, is this REALLY the milonga you want to attend. With
> > Brownshirt enforcers, escorting to the door those who commit the most
> > benign social faux pas?

you

> totally missed the point - the rules are posted, if you don't like it,
> don't come. But if you show up, there's a social contract that we all
> agree to abide by, and if you decide to flaunt it, the organizer has the
> right to show you the door. >
> I'd *love* to show you the door, Chas, I *really* would - please come to
> one of our milongas and do something silly so you can have that
> experience. The bay is just close enough that with some good hang time
> (maybe flapping your arms would help), you might actually land in nice,
> soft water. ;-)

Good grief ! May I ask how many people actually come to your milonga? Or how
many are still coming after this posting?
I thought, our Argentine milonga host was a bit police style in the
beginning (he actually did direct traffic in BA before he became a tango
pro), with statements like thundering at me when I walked in the door:
"ASTRID! You are late !!!!" Yeah, right, class started two minutes ago, and
I was coming here for fun.
But he doesn't act like you.

> Michael (re-arranging the wood shavings in the bottom of his cage)
> Tango Bellingham

At least you have a sense of humour

Cheers
Astrid (hoo dus not speek wiz a dschoermen eksent)

Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:24:01 +0200
From: Tango Bellingham <michaele@TANGOBELLINGHAM.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

>Good grief ! May I ask how many people actually come to your milonga? >Or how many are still coming after this posting?
>I thought, our Argentine milonga host was a bit police style in the
>beginning (he actually did direct traffic in BA before he became a >tango pro), with statements like thundering at me when I walked in the >door:"ASTRID! You are late !!!!" Yeah, right, class started two minutes >ago, and I was coming here for fun. But he doesn't act like you.

Uh, Astrid, chill.

1) You didn't notice the smiley-face at the end of the paragraph you
found so objectional. Like, "nudge, nudge, wink, wink,...."

2) Lots of nice people come to our milongas. Just because I don't let
the philosophical descendants of Rousseau turn them into any-goes
free-for-alls doesn't mean they aren't pleasant. I play good music, I
provide a nice, safe environment with a little circular treadmill for
running on when they get tired of dancing, nice food and water, and
lots of wood shavings on the floor. They don't have to worry about the
drunks, pushers, or cats bugging them and in exchange we play by a
certain set of rules that we have all agreed upon. The "gas-molecules"
who do come usually start playing by the rules when Marjorie or I ask
them nicely. Of course, having long 2-inch hamster fangs and sharp
claws helps. ;-) <- smiley face = *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

3) re: two minutes late. Astrid, I'm surprised at you! As you probably
are well aware of, Confucian cultures generally consider being late for
class or a meeting as a deliberate insult. It's rude.

4) Uh guys, Nazi comparisons aren't funny. Ever.

--
Michael
Tango Bellingham
www.tangobellingham.com

Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 22:43:58 -0700
From: Internet User <bailartangos@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Cabeceo and tandas

Eminently sensible & thoughtful posting, Chas.
Entertaining read too, I'd go to a milonga of yours anyday.


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