5594  Comment on the post "How do you decide who to dance

Date: Tue, 31 Mar 2009 07:48:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: Amaury de Siqueira <amaurycdsf@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Tango-L] Comment on the post "How do you decide who to dance
with?"
To: tango-l@mit.edu


I have been for so long hitting the delete key for most tango postings that often times i forget the reason for such mechanical and thoughtless behavior.

So then sometimes I tell myself... maybe I am too critical or simply wrong about the ideas posted in the list...

In these moments of self-doubt I make the mistake to read a posting...invariably something like the ideas below...

Then I immediately remember the reasons why I should and will continue to hit the delete key before ever opening any of the comments in this list.

Not to leave without a more constructive commentary I will say this:

Tango is a social activity which I construed to mean that we are operating in a social environment... for me to be social is not to have a critical list of prerequisites guiding who I dance or not with. To be social is to leave one's professional and emotional baggages out of the door and enter a space willing to try... willing to make mistakes and above all willing to live.

Out of this thread and the list.... what a waste.

Amaury

>
> --- On Fri, 3/20/09, Noughts
> <damian.thompson@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > From: Noughts <damian.thompson@gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [Tango-L] How do you decide who to dance
> with?
> > To: "Steve Littler"
> <sl@stevelittler.com>
> > Cc: tango-l@mit.edu
> > Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 9:39 AM
> > I always dance with my partner first and last - if
> that is
> > possible.
> > If I have to excuse myself to freshen up at either end
> of
> > the night
> > and miss either the first or last, c'est la vie.
> >
> > However like others, then I love to dance my
> "warm
> > up" tanda's with
> > people I know who are forgiving and kind to me and
> allow me
> > to get the
> > kinks out so to speak.
> >
> > Then, depending upon the music as to whom I dance with
> - I
> > rarely
> > dance a milonga with anyone but an experienced dancer
> and
> > one that I
> > have shared time with doing tango first. Milonga has
> so
> > little
> > reaction time for the follower that you want to know
> that
> > the partner
> > can keep up with change of pace, syncopation and quick
> > changes of
> > direction first. Vals I dance with either beginnners,
> or
> > advanced and
> > Tango with all. Nuevo (if you want to label) with
> more
> > advanced, but
> > not only.
> >
> > As for the order, whomever is available, but
> sometimes, I
> > like to
> > watch too... sometimes people forget that this is also
> a
> > chance for
> > men, women and kids if they are dancing or there, that
> we
> > all like to
> > watch and see how everyone else is going.
> >
> > I don't care about age, weight, race or religion -
> love
> > to dance with
> > people that connect, the reason we are there ;-)
> >
> > Damian
> >
> >
> > PS - I'll dance with men too, if we run short but
> hey,
> > isn't that how
> > we improve? :-)

Date: Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:05:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Comment on the post "How do you decide who to
dance with?"



--- On Tue, 3/31/09, Amaury de Siqueira <amaurycdsf@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Tango is a social activity which I construed to mean that
> we are operating in a social environment... for me to be
> social is not to have a critical list of prerequisites
> guiding who I dance or not with. To be social is to leave
> one's professional and emotional baggages out of the
> door and enter a space willing to try... willing to make
> mistakes and above all willing to live.

> Amaury

I think you miscontrue the reasons why some of us choose partners the way we do. It's not about levels. It's about making the best of a social activity. I don't dance to Biagi with a beginner for a simple reason - I'd be to "wild" for him to handle. Same with many alternative pieces and other music. Chances are good that he'd only realize that he's a beginner and that he has a lot more to learn. But that's not what I would want him to think. I'd want him to feel good about his dance. Isn't that what a social activity is supposed to be about?

When I first accepted a Pugliese tanda with one particular student, he afterwards recounted an episode about year or so earlier when he had asked me to dance Pugliese and I declined. He was a bit relieved when I had said no because he wasn't sure about dancing it with me. I'm glad I said no then, too, because it would not have been a good dance and I did not want to give him a bad dance. So when we finally danced Pugliese together, we both had a wonderful tanda and a memory that we'll both look fondly on for years to come.

If you choose not to be too particular about your partners, then great. Whatever works. Sorry that you'll be leaving the list.

Trini de Pittsburgh

Date: Wed, 1 Apr 2009 16:48:48 -0700
From: Huck Kennedy <tempehuck@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Comment on the post "How do you decide who to
dance with?"
To: tango-l@mit.edu
<ecf43f370904011648jf8375aag6c410df5185e8c4c@mail.gmail.com>

On Tue, Mar 31, 2009 at 7:48 AM, Amaury de Siqueira <amaurycdsf@yahoo.com>wrote:

>
> I have been for so long hitting the delete key for most tango postings that
> often times i forget the reason for such mechanical and thoughtless
> behavior.
>
> So then sometimes I tell myself... maybe I am too critical or simply wrong
> about the ideas posted in the list...
>
> In these moments of self-doubt I make the mistake to read a
> posting...invariably something like the ideas below...
>
> Then I immediately remember the reasons why I should and will continue to
> hit the delete key before ever opening any of the comments in this list.

Wow, if the above doesn't fit the category of an abusive posting
according to the new guidelines instituted in Tango-L in the last year or
so, I don't know what does.

> Out of this thread and the list.... what a waste.

Is that a promise?

Huck