2004 Dress Code and Etiquette
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 02:22:09 EST
From: Joanne Pogros <JOANNEPROCHASKA@AOL.COM>
Subject: Dress Code and Etiquette
Trini wrote:"Think I should crack the whip a little bit more at our Sunday
dance about dress code and etiquette?"
Dress Code: Your approach to this problem depends on whether you are riding a
horse or dancing tango! So.. . since you are dancing tango, I would
suggest that you leave the whip at home ( a few guys will be disappointed) and lead
by good example. If you want the ladies to dress in dresses or cool pants
and the men to wear suit and tie or dress shirt and khakis, then the milonga
organizers/teachers will be very effective in leading by example if they dress a
little bit above this desired outcome themselves. I do not think that age is
a factor, because not matter what age you are, if you want to do something,
you learn how to look the part, and then you dress accordingly. Even students
have to buy a dressy outfit every once on awhile, so it might as well be
something appropriate to dance in as not.
Also, reinforce those whose attire is headed in the right direction by
complimenting their outfits. Ignore the others whose clothes are not falling
in line unless the attire is very offensive (this includes people who have not
bothered to shower or put on clean clothes from head to toe for the dance).
I have found that the ladies really like to get dressed up. However,
just like anything else, it takes "practice". In fact, it may be more a
function of practice, than of budget. If you are a good shopper, you can purchase a
nice dress for the same price as a pair of jeans. And with some cleverness,
you can take something in your closet and revive it for dancing with a little
alteration and/or addition of accessories you already have or can purchase for
very little money. Many summer tops look smashing with a "tango skirt" and a
silky wrap with fringe on it.
You may notice, after awhile, that the people are dressing more nicely.
Continue to compliment any outfits that are approaching your desired dress
code, even just a little bit. It takes time for a person to select something
to wear, to go to a dance, to hear someone else get a compliment whereas they
themselves don't, to notice what that person is wearing, to think about what
that person wore that got the compliment, to think about what they wore that
did not get a compliment, to get past feeling insulted that they did not get a
compliment whereas the other person did get one, to make time to go shopping,
not knowing where they might get a different outfit, to finally select
something else, to put together an outfit with accessories they have at home, to go to
the next dance. . . . repeat cycle. . . . repeat cycle. . . . repeat cycle.
Personally, I find that newcomers to tango frequently say "I don't have
anything to wear dancing" or ask "Where do you get your clothes?". I suggest
budget-minded ideas for using what they already might have, and I tell them
where I do shop (including any type of second hand shops, resale shops,
vintage clothes shops, costume shops, each and every junior clothes shop at the
mall, catalogs, discount stores and junior departments at the local Kaufmann
department store (on sale, with a coupon!). Even my 92 year old mother still
presents me with things she has found in her closet saying "would you want to wear
this dancing?" Hey, I always give it a good look over! My friends have taken
long dresses , hemmed them up and slit them up the side, tied them up with
ribbon, added rhinestones with the "ronco rhinestone setter", made flowing
skirts to wear over leotards, layered silky scarves tied around their waist on top
of black pants and made their own crocheted top and skirts. IMHO, the most
versatile and necessary piece is a skirt which has an interesting hemline, is
made of fabric that flows gently, is no longer than calf-length (to avoid
getting caught up in your shoes) and is loose enough for you to take long steps.
I am always careful to tell any ladies who ask me about my clothes that
"I always tend to overdress for tango, but I love doing it because my hobby
for 30 years was horseback riding, and there is a limitation to how "dressed up"
you can get in a polo shirt with a collar on it, boots and britches!" (oh
yeah, you could have any color of whip you wanted, as long as it was black!).
Peer pressure comes into play as well, after awhile, as this lady and
that lady try different outfits, and get reinforced by not only the
teachers/organizers of the milonga, but also by each other. The ladies actually enjoy
complimenting each other's new outfits, and in turn enjoy explaining how they
altered, found, purchased, made or accessorized it.
As for my husband, I encourage him to wear a suit and tie, because
(don't gasp please) that is the dress of the milongueros in Buenos Aires. Since we
are trying to create a milonga in the milonguero style of tango's mother
city, it only makes sense to provide the visual component as well as the musical
component. Hopefully the guys will "get it" before they visit Buenos Aires and
wear their jeans and t-shirt to a milonga there.
Note: I by no means mean to insinuate that a certain type of clothing
will make a person a better dancer. However, I personally feel much more
feminine in a dress or flowing skirt than in jeans and loafers! And I know which
outfit a man would rather have his dance partner wearing to tango in!
Etiquette: IMHO, there no compromise on etiquette. It is up to the
teachers/milonga organizers to spell it out in no uncertain terms, early and often.
Write it down, hand it out and post it on the wall. Explain the reasoning
behind the points of etiquette that you are trying to get across. Be pro-active
in reminding people (in private) when they go against it. Always practice
good etiquette yourself, again to set a good example.
Humbly submitted by Joanne Pogros, Cleveland, Ohio
www.tangocleveland.com
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 10:49:28 -0500
From: A Coleman <gurps_npc@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Dress Code and Etiquette
I defintely agree that the whipping should be avoided at milongas. Save
that for when you are riding a horse (or your bedroom if you are into that
kind of thing :).
But when it comes to dressing up, women have a HUGE advantage over us men.
They have a formal style of cloating is not only pretty, but it is also
functional for dancing. I would love to wear a suit, even a tuxedo out
dancing... if any place could keep it cool enough.
I live in NYC and it is FREEZING here right now. I went out dancing on
Friday and wore a short sleave shirt, a light sweater with hood, and my ski
coat on the way over. When I got to Triangulo, I took off the jacket, but
left the sweater with hood on for the first 1/2 hour. But after that 1/2
hour, enough people had arrive that it was too warm for the sweater. By
the end of the night, I was sweating in my shortsleave shirt.
You want me to dress up? Fine. I would love to. But you need a milonga
with a good enough air conditioning system to handle all the people doing
the heavy heat producing, wonderfull exercise we call Tango. There is no
way I am going to get all dressed up and sweat like a pig. Trust me, you
don't want to see me do it.
Note, I have seen some men routinely get dressed up. Maybe their body has
a lower metabolism/doesn't sweat as easily as I do. But from prior
experience, I know that if I try to duplicate their feat, I look and smell
horrible.
https://www.msnmessenger-download.com/tracking/cdp_games
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 2003 10:58:52 -0500
From: John Gleeson <jgleeson@CONCENTRIC.NET>
Subject: Re: Dress Code and Etiquette
Joanne wrote (amongst other things):
> As for my husband, I encourage him to wear a suit and tie, because
> (don't gasp please) that is the dress of the milongueros in Buenos Aires.
Sorry but I am gasping. I am constantly amazed at people who take a few
samplings and state that everybody conforms to that sample, especially
when talking about BsAs.
I have just spent two weeks in BsAs - a suit and tie is NOT the
dress code of the Milongueros. It is the dress code of some of them.
Some others wear turtle-necks and pants; others wear just dress
shirts (without a tie) and pants; and others wear..... and so on and so on.
There is no dress code in BsAs. Older, more traditional-minded, folks
might tend towards the mored traditional suit/tie; younger ones appear
to gravitate towards the more casual.
John G.
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 10:13:49 -0300
From: Alberto Gesualdi <clambat2001@YAHOO.COM.AR>
Subject: Dress code and etiquette
Hi friends from Tango lists
Concerning comments about how milongueros dressed in Buenos Aires, I am not sure if to wear formal suit with shirt and tie , is part of the actual etiquette in Buenos Aires.
It depends on the place, the day ( because the same place may be rented to different hosts during the week ), an specific event (a tribute to a tango local teacher or dancer ).
Young people dressed more casual, but there are also young people that there are also dancers and/or assistant teachers, so they dress elegant . The milongas are gathering places, so you can find everything there , from the medium age couple that wear elegant clothes , up to young people with jeans and tennis that came to have a look , or to take a lesson of tango , and stay to the milonga.
We are now arriving to summer, and not all the milongas have serious air conditioning , many of them uses roof fans, and small air conditioning equipments, that do not help to have a reasonable temperature . Add the smoke of the cigarettes to this , and you will have a nice polution. I have to take to the laundry my clothes, after each milonga, the smell of smoke is terrible the day after.
But there are some compensations, now the open air milongas become a refreshing option. Glorieta Barrancas de Belgrano, La Calesita at Imos, and La Terraza, that will open tomorrow if the weather allows. We are having right now , monday , a huge shower with strong winds , I hope tomorrow night to be a starry nught to enjoy the palmtrees at La Terraza.:):)
Warm regards
Alberto Gesualdi
Buenos Aires
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