746  Getting (and keeping) more men into tango

Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 12:22:49 -0700
From: Luda Requadt <luda_r1@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Getting (and keeping) more men into tango

Nicole writes:

"As for getting more men into tango...well, this is a
problem for every
style of dance and for every dance class ....whether
its tango, salsa,
ballroom, jazz or ballet. Men are not accustomed in
our culture to be
dancers...it's not the "cool" thing to do. We are
fortunate in Miami
to have many latin cultures here that dancing is a
part of their
lifestyle, so often our classes are majority men, but
being from another part
of the country, I understand the dilemma."

I believe you have raised a very important point about
getting and keeping more men for tango: The social and
cultural context in which men are brought up. If a man
thinks dancing is not "cool", a team of wild horses
wouldn't drag him into a class, tango or any other
kind, as you suggest. So there's a sociological
mind-set in men about tango, and dancing in general.
As another contributor to the list suggested a while
back during the discussion on that particular thread,
"real men" probably don't dance much in our culture at
all. Tom, Steve and Rose suggest some great ideas on
possibly overcoming this by teaching the fundaamentals
of tango THOROUGHLY first (walking, following the
music, leading, navigating the dance floor, etc.) to
such men and encouraging beginners in their efforts,
then letting them pick up the fancy steps further down
the road. In the meantime they will be able to enjoy
the tango and not feel ostracized if they don't come
crashing into a milonga with fancy figures which they
execute poorly. Bad for the ole' self-confidence! :)

The importance of the cultural/social context of
dancing is further amplified by the customs and mores
of a given historical period and society. It used to
be that men (and women) were expected to acquire
decent dancing skills in order to function in society
properly, just like they would using a napkin or
chewing with their mouth closed. It was a social
necessity for men to have adequate dancing skills, or
they wouldn't be invited to functions where they could
meet women. It also gave men one of the few
opportunities to spend some time with a woman alone
(even briefly, while dancing) without having an
overzealous chaperone breathing down the couple's
necks when they wanted some privacy. So, who wouldn't
make learning to dance a priority? I believe this is
still the case in some cultures, like the Latin
culture for instance.

But times have changed. In our permissive society here
in North America the social constraints of men meeting
women have disappeared. Now, anything goes. Men and
women can get together whenever and wherever they
please. The dance floor no longer holds the attraction
it once did. So why bother learning to dance when men
can now meet all the women they want without acquiring
this particular social grace? True, it's still a great
way for men and women to meet (although I find the
scenario of the "meat market" absolutely revolting),
especially since women love to dance. Dancing still
attracts men in order to meet women, as Nicole
suggests, but now there are so many other options
available to them that dancing, and especially
learning a complex dance like the tango, seems to have
lost its appeal.

Luda


9-11: A tribute to the more than 3,000 lives lost

Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2002 02:56:40 -0600
From: Brian Dunn <brianpdunn@EARTHLINK.NET>
Subject: Re: Getting (and keeping) more men into tango

Dear Listeros,

Nicole writes:
"As for getting more men into tango...Men are not accustomed in
our culture to be dancers...it's not the "cool" thing to do."
Luda continues:
"So there's a sociological mind-set in men about tango, and dancing in
general."

Nicole, Luda, I know what you are saying, BUT...

When I first saw the Japanese movie "Shall We Dance?" several years ago, I
went to a Sunday 7PM show, by myself. (Those who haven't seen it owe it to
themselves to rent it immediately, even though there's very little tango and
only of the ballroom variety).
When I emerged after the show, a bit self-conscious about my single status,
I noticed that among the couples were seven other single MEN who had
attended the same showing. The stereotype above would not have led me to
expect that...and those guys probably would have shown up at a tango class,
if there had been some way of reaching them then.

As far as what's going on with men's "sociological mind-set", we can draw
some useful information from men's attitudes about dating in general. In a
Canadian study on dating attitudes, high school boys and girls were asked
what was the worst thing that could happen on a date. For the guys, the
worst thing imaginable was "getting laughed at." (For the girls, it was
"getting killed" - but that's DEFINITELY for another thread.)

This suggests that the key to keeping guys in tango is to follow up on their
hopes of holding beautiful women in their arms, give them a social buzz to
get them interested, make them feel they can succeed while minimizing the
risk of embarrassing themselves. To do this, here are some ideas we use in
our classes:

- Really Frequent Rotation
I've seen Brigitta Winkler start classes with a warmup that, after a brief
introduction of simple lead-follow exercises, includes six to eight
rotations PER SONG. Most guys new to dance get intoxicated with the
opportunity to take so many women into their arms in such rapid succession,
especially because they are relieved of the responsibility for the
encounter - "the teacher told me to". They'll be back...

- The Driving Analogy
Daniel Trenner (who has taught thousands of people to tango) likes to start
classes by asking "who's got a driver's license?" When everyone raises
their hand, he comments that driving is much harder than learning to tango.
Guys can identify with this driving analogy, and feel reassured by it.
Teaching lead and follow to everybody in beginner lessons then flows really
easily, because everybody knows how to drive. It also leads him into his
"guys are trucks, gals are sports cars" shtik, which helps justify his
"guys-with-guys/gals-with-gals" approach in early lessons (carefully tuned
and balanced in each lesson with guy/gal pairing).

- Tease with the Embrace
Luciana Valle has a delightful and very effective way of getting normally
uptight gringos to relax into the close-embrace as an exercise, then opening
it to better develop fundamental skills before returning to it. She makes
couples give each other a hug (and makes sure they're really hugging by
making them hold it for a ten-count! - none of this butt-sticking-out
no-pelvis hugging allowed!) Then she gets the guys to raise their left
arms, the woman takes their raised hand, but the embrace stays otherwise
intact. Then, she says "This is where we are going - but for now, we'll
take a LITTLE more space while we learn and get used to it." Then she opens
up the embrace, while saying that they should try to retain the feeling of
the close contact. Then rotate and do it again ("the teacher told me to!")
This way, the ice is broken, the lure of the close embrace remains active,
while balance skills and basic vocabulary are developed in a more forgiving
open frame.

- The Eye Game
In our classes, we introduce in the very first lesson the "Eye Contact"
method of getting a dance in the milongas of BsAs. We do a little demo by
playacting a little milonga scene, which always draws lots of appreciative
laughs. Then we practice in a circle, meeting someone's eyes and saying
either "yes" or "no" without words, then moving on to switching places in
the circle when a "yes" is negotiated. Beginner guys really appreciate the
opportunity the eye game represents to avoid embarrassment, and reduce the
pressures involved in asking for a dance.

Abrazos,
Brian Dunn
Boulder, Colorado USA
www.danceoftheheart.com