3066  How to begin?

Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 20:11:15 +0000
From: Jonathan Care <jonathan.care@GMAIL.COM>
Subject: How to begin?

I have a question for the list. My fiancée is a keen dancer, and I
really like what I've seen from her - we've had a few quiet dances
together in our home, and I want to start learning tango properly. She
has been dancing for around 5 years, and even so, she wants to take
the beginner lessons with me all over again.

My questions are - should I go out and take some basics lessons before
I go to lessons with her? Should we go and check out the milongas near
us?

Advice, thoughts and ideas most welcome.

--
Jonathan Care
"Pax, amor, et lepos in iocando"

Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 14:42:29 -0600
From: Lois Donnay <donnay@DONNAY.NET>
Subject: Re: How to begin?

Take lessons alone as well, including some privates. Go to the milongas with
her and don't get jealous when she dances with others.

I can't think of a more loving and sweet thing to do for your fiancé.

Lois

>
> I have a question for the list. My fiancée is a keen dancer,
> and I really like what I've seen from her - we've had a few
> quiet dances together in our home, and I want to start
> learning tango properly. She has been dancing for around 5
> years, and even so, she wants to take the beginner lessons
> with me all over again.
>
> My questions are - should I go out and take some basics
> lessons before I go to lessons with her? Should we go and
> check out the milongas near us?
>
> Advice, thoughts and ideas most welcome.

Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 13:57:53 -0700
From: Brian Dunn <brian@DANCEOFTHEHEART.COM>
Subject: Re: How to begin?

>>>

My fiancie is a keen dancer, and I
really like what I've seen from her - we've had a few quiet dances together
in our home, and I want to start learning tango properly. She has been
dancing for around 5 years, and even so, she wants to take the beginner
lessons with me all over again.

My questions are - should I go out and take some basics lessons before I go
to lessons with her? Should we go and check out the milongas near us?
<<<

Sounds to me like a good idea to go with her to a milonga or two, and
especially if she already has a couple preferred partners. You can watch
her dance with them, and quiz her about which ones she prefers, what they
each do that she likes, and why. If you watch these guys and like their
dancing, then find out who they study with locally, or who they recommend.
This will also give you practice in taking the perspective that, when she
dances with other guys, it's an irreplaceable source of valuable information
for YOU about HER preferences, instead of just an opportunity to get
jealous.

Then, yes, I'd recommend a lesson or three with someone she feels
comfortable recommending to you.

I agree with Lois, you're making a tremendous investment in your
relationship, and giving a great gift to yourself in the process.

All the best,
Brian Dunn
Dance of the Heart
Boulder, Colorado USA
www.danceoftheheart.com

Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:37:47 +0000
From: Jonathan Care <jonathan.care@GMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: How to begin?

On Thu, 30 Dec 2004 13:57:53 -0700, Brian Dunn
<brian@danceoftheheart.com> wrote:

>
> Sounds to me like a good idea to go with her to a milonga or two, and
> especially if she already has a couple preferred partners. You can watch
> her dance with them, and quiz her about which ones she prefers, what they
> each do that she likes, and why. If you watch these guys and like their
> dancing, then find out who they study with locally, or who they recommend.
> This will also give you practice in taking the perspective that, when she
> dances with other guys, it's an irreplaceable source of valuable information
> for YOU about HER preferences, instead of just an opportunity to get
> jealous.

I notice that many people warn of the jealousy pit-trap. I can imagine
its easy to fall into. I plan to remember that its me she's going home
with :) which I hope will keep the balance.

We are in a slightly unusual situation. She has moved over to the UK
from Belgium to be with me, so neither of us know the tango scene in
the UK. (Hints around the M3/M4 area...?)

>
> I agree with Lois, you're making a tremendous investment in your
> relationship, and giving a great gift to yourself in the process.
>

Hope so ;)

--
Jonathan Care
"Pax, amor, et lepos in iocando"

Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 00:23:20 +0000
From: Jay Rabe <jayrabe@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: How to begin?