747 Leading vs. Following
Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 19:42:28 GMT
From: michael <tangomaniac@JUNO.COM>
Subject: Leading vs. Following
Jai Jeffryes wrote a message of which is harder:
leading or following. Leading and following both
have their difficulties and I don't feel it's helpful
to claim it's more difficult for a man to dance tango
than a woman.
I prefer to say that the man has the more difficult
mental part (e.g. remembering which foot the woman is
standing) of the dance while the woman has the
more difficult physical part (ganchos, boleos, and
other moves inexperienced men might lead that
cause her to lose her balance.)
Daniel Trenner recommends that men learn how to
follow and women learn how to lead as it will
advance their learning quicker. I don't know if it's
true for women, but it is true for men. My teacher
repeatedly told me that the woman moves first and that
I have to learn to wait.
I vividly remember the class where he told a woman to
lead me in ochos. The woman stepped side-to-side
without waiting for me to pivot for the ocho. I felt
like a matador's cape being waved to get a bull's
attention. That's the day I learned what WAIT FOR
THE WOMAN actually meant.
I also remember at a Trenner class shifting my weight as
the leader (man) shifted his weight. He asked my why
I was shifting my weight. I told him "because you are."
Continuing to say that leading is more difficult
than following, IMHO, will only put more pressure on
woman. They will be convinced that every mistake
was caused by them when it wasn't.
Michael
Washington, DC
I'd rather be dancing argentine tango
Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 14:32:10 -0700
From: Jai Jeffryes <doktordogg@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Leading vs. Following
--- michael <tangomaniac@JUNO.COM> wrote:
> Jai Jeffryes wrote a message of which is harder:
> leading or following. Leading and following both
> have their difficulties and I don't feel it's
> helpful
> to claim it's more difficult for a man to dance
> tango
> than a woman.
I think there are several benefits of openly
acknowledging something that is readily observable by
anyone. I was explicit when I said that no one is
denigrating the skill or dedication of followers by
contrasting the learning curves. I hope that
respondents to my post mark that well.
People have been talking a lot about gender
imbalances. I think it's helpful to discuss the
causes. Surely the different learning curves of
leading and following play a part.
Another worthwhile reason to acknowledge it is, all
too often people seem to tacitly equate poor leading
with being an inconsiderate jerk, engendering unneeded
resentments. Dancing poorly doesn't mean that a man
is a jerk, nor should he feel the need to apologize
for his perceived inadequacy. (Is there another
thread about what constitutes a "real man" on its
way?) He just needs to be sincere in his efforts, and
so long as women consent to dance with him, they need
to be patient with him until he "gets it"
It's helpful for men to understand why tango seems so
much harder for them than women, and it's worth
acknowledging that so that they won't be so
discouraged by the problems they're having. I think
it's constructive to discuss the existence of these
very real challenges.
Susana Miller made the points I quoted earlier when a
woman in one class complained about her partner's
aptitude to assimilate the lesson. Miller rushed to
his defense and commended him for doing well in the
face of the difficulty and admonished his partner to
be more aware of the steeper learning curve he had to
overcome in order to produce the desired result.
Jai
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