1538  Notes from Buenos Aires 9

Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2003 21:27:41 -0400
From: Sergio <cachafaz@ADELPHIA.NET>
Subject: Notes from Buenos Aires 9

This note has multiple aspects that need to be analyzed, because it implies
lack of knowledge of codes and culture.
This would not have happened had the note been corrected by Alejandra as
before.

I will start by the problem with Alejandra, because (IMO) the problem is
between her and Rick. The "milongueros" are innocent bystanders in the
middle of some interactive, psychological problems.

According to Rick.

Alejandra is very popular at the milongas where she dances with many good
milongueros.
She became his partner now.

Nobody, would ever stare at her too much if she comes from the street with
a male companion, sits with him and behaves properly.
This is so true that: The members of visiting couples sit apart so that
they can dance with other people.

Some foreign women invite men to dance either by staring or directly by
asking, even while sitting with their male companions, this happened to me
many times. I find it somewhat uncomfortable despite of my knowledge of
their culture.

A milonguero that stares at a lady who is in the company of a man is doing
so because in some way she led him to believe that she wants to dance with
him. This misunderstanding will only happen when the lady sits with a man
known to be a foreigner . It is accepted by now that people from the USA
and some countries in Europe follow different codes at the milongas.

This sort of behavior would not be tolerated by any Argentinean man.

This never happened to me but if I was in that situation I would ask my
lady friend not to look at the intruder, I would stare at him (like asking
: what is the problem?) and if this was not sufficient I would walk to his
table and demand and explanation . This would be the first and the last time
I would ever have any trouble at that milonga. :))

If I was with a lady that is well known, and a popular dancer (like
Alejandra) I would perhaps try to avoid going to clubs where she used to go
by herself.

Rick is from The West, I am sure he is familiar with Country-Western
dancing.

Let's take a look in reference to:

People smoke at the dances and bars, this irritates your nose, your eyes and
your bronchi. I have the same problem, I can only tolerate this a couple of
days a week, this is the reason I stopped going Country-Western dancing in
the USA and I only go once a week Swing dancing.
People smoke and drink continuously at the Country-Western dancing places,
many get drunk, they come to your table to ask your lady companion to dance,
pour liquor on the dancing floor, look for fights and finally get thrown
out to the street by the bouncers the same as in the Far-West movies. It is
very interesting. These places are frequently located by Truck-Stops, so
between dance and dance you can run to your truck have sex with one of the
prostitutes that work the parking lot (they are called lizards because they
move like such between the cars and trucks) and return fresh like a fiddle
for more drinks, more smoke and more fights.

There is much more that I could talk about but I realize that this line is
about tango not about Country-Western.

I wrote this note without the help of any alcohol, but I will try some in
preparation for my next note. As to corrections I need none because I know
what I talk about.

I am sure I will continue. Birds of the same feather flock together.??? I
will explain later.

Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2003 22:56:54 -0400
From: Sergio <cachafaz@ADELPHIA.NET>
Subject: Notes from Buenos Aires 9 -

"Anyone who thinks they respect relationships in the milongas of Buenos
Aires is a fool, a liar, or part of the blood-sport. It's about the
men's egos and their ritualistic attempts to seduce a "milonguera", or
to isolate or "punish" her, or, better yet: to fuck a female tourist
(who regularly fall on their backs in a matter of hours, or one
"date"). Get real about the "codes", Rick.

Enjoy, (and watch your back),
Steve Hoffman"

"What dos you mean? Is it a joke? Is it ironic? Put a ;-)) if it is a joke.
Peter Wenger"

It is obvious that women have a great time in Buenos Aires. Tourist groups
and couples, have a very pleasant stay as well.

Some do not get invited to dance at the beginning because they ignore the
codes but they try to change their plane tickets to stay longer once that
they start to dance regularly to recuperate for the lost time.

Most of them return every year, some of my friends have done so for the
last five or six seasons.

Some men alone, on the other hand may encounter several problems.

Argentinean women do not dance with men that do not know how to navigate
the floor or that are awkward.

Many Argentinean women go to some milongas regularly, where they dance with
certain partners. They are happy with that arrangement and do not wish to
disturb it to dance with a transient visitor. Most of them are interested in
"the feeling" and wish to have some depth in their sentimental
relationships. They are not interested in transient, casual liaisons.

A man alone visiting has a better chance to dance if he establishes some
degree of relationship with a group at the lessons or the practicas and then
joins them at the milongas.Should he be specially interested in a particular
lady in the group he should try to invite her to go dancing to places where
she does not usually go. So that her interactive dancing pattern would not
be disturbed after he leaves.
The best is to become related to some local milongueros (men) and sit with
them, they will point to you the ladies you could ask to dance or will
introduce you to them.

Confucius said:

The one that is ignorant and knows that he is ignorant, is humble - Teach
him.
The one that is ignorant and does not know that he is an ignorant is a
fool - Escape from him.
The one that knows and does not know that he knows, is dormant - Awake him.
The one that knows and knows that he knows , is wise - Follow him.

Steve Hoffman went to Buenos Aires at least four times, he came back
complaining that the ladies sat at the milongas by themselves, that the men
were apart by themselves. That there was no social interaction at the
milongas. (I have his notes on file if anyone wishes to see them).
That the food was terrible. Argentina is well known all over the world by
its cuisine. It is the fourth largest food producer in the world.
There are Argentinean restaurants almost in any city in the universe.

He said that Argentineans did not show any interest in either dancing or
socializing with him.
In a country where you sit in a park bench and soon somebody sits by you,
tells you his whole life experience and cries on your shoulder.
Everybody gets invited to go to homes, barbeques, and all sort of social
events. Everybody but him.
He them proceeded to criticize the Argentine Tango instructors.

He enjoyed more being shot in Brazil than being *Ignored in Argentina, he
said.
Everybody in Buenos Aires was happy to see him leave, I wonder why? but he
returned again and again and again. When are you coming back now?

It looks like for Rick this is only his second visit. I hope that is also
the last. I mean, I worry a lot about his lungs and his psychological well
being, he belongs to the open spaces of the West. I would advise him to stay
away from Los Angeles and San Francisco. The Smog worries me a lot. You
know!

As I said before Birds of the same feather flock together.

I think that they would be better off joining a Masochistic group.

The world can be sooo unjust.

Happy tangos to all of you. :)))

Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2003 05:01:02 +0000
From: ahshol Kahn <kahn44@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Notes from Buenos Aires 9

Children wet your ear with saliva or touch your ass when they want to
challenge you to a fight here.

To stare at your lady is equivalent to that sort of challenge, Man!

You have no other choice than to get your knife out and fight, Man!

Your lady is not totally innocent either. You have to put your house in
order, man!.
You know what I mean, don't you?.

You should come to "La Glorieta" Barrancas de Belgrano. It is a nice milonga
outdoors in a park.
I bet your lungs would feel better there.

If you do not like the well dressed vendors on the bus take a cab, you are
cheap, Man! No wonder your lady strays with her stare. She must be tired of
going to all those out of the way, poor places as well.
Avellaneda! for God's sake! Who wants to go to Avellaneda.

The smells in the city, I love them, man!, coffee from the bars, fresh bread
from the bakeries, wood burning from the barbeques, some spicey sauce
cooking in a house, the perfume of the blond passing by, the flowers from a
hidden garden. This is a living city man, where do you come from?

We like to live in our condos downtown but many of us have a weekend house
in the suburbs, man.
The best of two worlds.

Remember you have to fight, sharpen your facon (big knife) man.

Let me know if I can be of any further assistance.

Yours truly,

Date: Thu, 17 Jul 2003 00:36:57 -0700
From: luda_r1 <luda_r1@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Notes from Buenos Aires 9

Sergio wrote:

"...There is much more that I could talk about but I
realize that this line is
about tango not about Country-Western..."

Could have fooled me. I thought it was about toilet
sex and obscenitis.

"...I wrote this note without the help of any alcohol,
but
I will try some in
preparation for my next note. As to corrections I need

none because I know
what I talk about..."

Oh, go ahead, Sergio, take a slug now and then! It
might sober you up a bit! :)

Luda



=====