2514  Tango etiquette & Freedom of Expression

Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 10:22:25 -0500
From: donnay@DONNAY.NET
Subject: Re: Tango etiquette & Freedom of Expression

OK, so we've heard from some bitter men who are punishing followers who
rejected them by never dancing with them. And we also hear from the men who
say they can't understand why a woman would accept a dance with a man with
no etiquette or talent.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems there guys out there who hold both opinions.
Contradiction?

There's a local guy who is quite upset at rejections. So he continually
works at being a showier, more stylish dancer, in order to make all of those
followers sorry that don't dance with them. The problem is, as he works
harder at learning "show tango" he's becoming a worse dancer because he
can't really lead any of it. This leads to more rejection. If he would pay
more attention to the woman he's dancing with, rather than showing off for
the women who rejected him, he would be happier and more successful.

Bitterness is an acid that destroys its own vessel. Bad behavior carries its
own punishment. It just may take a little while for it to take effect. If
you stick around awhile, you see your share of unethical behavior, bad
etiquette, boorishness, etc. Communities are forgiving, accepting and
compassionate, but not forever.

Lois
Minneapolis, MN

> >Yes, Ed! Milongas often have an abundance of women who are
> so anxious
> >to dance that they will say YES to anyone who asks. We do have the
> >power to improve the overall community by saying NO to leaders who
> >"teach" on the floor, have no respect for the line of dance,
> and push
> >you around practicing the latest programmed pattern. I
> rather sit out,
> >thank you, than to endure an awful (and sometimes bumpy ride) across
> >the floor. Pia
>
> I have seen an interesting phenomenon take place in various
> Seattle milongas. Women will repeatedly accept an invitation
> from someone, and upon their return will complain bitterly
> about the individual's dancing, lack of floorcraft or
> manners,personal hygiene, etc. When I ask them why they
> continue to dance with the aforementioned offenders, I get
> one of two answers:
>
> 1. It's impolite to decline when someone asks you to dance
> (not as often) 2. I won't get to dance if I start rejecting
> people (far more frequently)
>
> So the men who careen around the floor (bumper-car tango) or
> conduct impromptu seminars in the middle of the floor go
> merrily about their way....
>