2087 How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 23:06:03 -0800
From: randy cook <randycook95476@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
First, always remember that sympathy for foreign men
and resentment against foreign women are the strongest
factors in your favor. That said, don't take this
"how to" prescription seriously. I offer it merely as
a true example of some general principles which you
may be able to use in different circumstances, as the
opportunity arises.
Entonces...
Go to Dandi (922 Piedras, Buenos Aires, Argentina) on
a Wednesday night. Take the class with Analia and
Marcelo because they are good. Afterwards, dance with
the lovely Cordobesa whom you met in class, just to
show you are not a beginner and yes, because she makes
your heart sing. Dance also with the chubby
Australian, because she does the milonga with the
eagerness of a St. Bernard puppy.
When Mimi Santapa arrives, greet her with abrazos and
choruses of "Mi amor! Mi negrita!" etc. Do this
because you love her and are very glad to see her, but
also in order to attract the attention of a certain
middle-aged Asian woman in a black skirt with a red
blouse who arrived alone and is sitting by herself
nearby. She is wearing the red blouse to cover a cold
heart, as you will find out.
This woman will come up to you with a camera and ask
you to translate for her while she asks Mimi for a
picture. Do this for her. When Mimi agrees, take the
photo of the two of them. Have a little trouble with
the camera because you are not experienced with
digitals, but also because you want everyone to see
that you are doing the woman a favor. Afterwards,
chat with her for a while in English. You will find
out that she is visiting Buenos Aires from your home
city, San Francisco. What a coincidence! What a
small world!
Return to your seat. Dance again with the St. Bernard
puppy because she asks you to, but also to show that
you are not a snob. Alas, the lovely Corbobesa has
left early because she has to go to work tomorrow.
Watch the middle-aged Asian woman from San Francisco.
Notice that no one is dancing with her. Notice that
Leon, a true milonguero, is trying to make eye contact
with her, but that she is busy looking in her purse
for a box of Altoids for five minutes and seems not to
be aware of him. Perhaps she doesn't understand the
code. Perhaps she is nearsighted. Perhaps she
worries about her breath.
Dandi is a little less formal than certain other dance
halls. You will see men going up to tables and asking
for dances and getting them. You are having no more
luck than the milonguero Leon in getting the San
Francisco woman's attention, so you decide to take a
little risk. You stride across the room, and in front
of everyone, you ask her to dance.
It is very important that you be surprised when she
rejects you. You want everyone to see the shock in
your face, the slight backward step you take to keep
from falling over. These things can't be faked.
Stagger back to your seat, "capo caido" (crestfallen).
Remember something Maria Teresa has told you about
the reason Portenos use the cabaceo--the nod--to get
dances. "If a milonguero goes to a woman's table to
ask for a dance and is rejected, he will have to leave
the dance hall in shame." You wonder whether you
ought to leave the dance hall. Everyone has
witnessed your disgrace. What woman will dance with
you, now?
But don't be hasty. Tango, like life itself, is full
of surprises. This will turn out to be your best
moment.
So indulge yourself in a few minutes of darkness.
Wonder whether the Woman in Red has brushed you off
casually, like a fly, or whether there was
satisfaction in that slight smile of hers as she
pronounced the word, "No." You will never know the
answer, of course, because already the incident is
becoming part of your personal store of legends. An
ordinary dismissal is turning into something
unforgettable, The Rejection.
But after a while, pull yourself together and look at
the other women in the room. You will be able to make
eye contact easily. It will take courage to smile,
but do so. You are totally open, totally vulnerable.
You cannot hide.
To surprise, a woman will smile back. Make the
cabaceo. Meet her on the dance floor. Look into her
eyes. Smile again. Embrace. Dance...
One woman, another, waltz, tango, milonga... you will
dance your fill. And each partner will tell you,
either with words or with eyes or best of all with her
body, that she likes to dance with you, that it is a
pleasure, an honor, a delight to dance with a man so
tender, so gentle, so smooth.
And even the one you haven't danced with yet, the one
who looks German but turns out to be Portena, will
stop you outside the banos to say that she has watched
you dancing and wants you to know that you are a
"divino", that you dance like a dream.
As for the San Francisco woman in the red blouse, she
only dances once during the first couple of hours.
The lucky partner is Marcelo, the teacher. By 2:00 AM
she is dancing fairly regularly, but only with men
over 75. One of them looks like he has arrived
directly from the hospital intensive care unit. So
you can begin to take The Rejection less personally.
The middle-aged Asian woman from your home town came
to Buenos Aires with a very specific agenda, and
dancing with a fellow Californian wasn't part of it.
Finally you will be tired and can dance no more. It
has been a wonderful evening. As you change your
shoes at the door, chat with the milonguero from
intensive care. "Fifty years of milonga!" he
announces proudly. Congratulate him and tell him you
hope to be able to say the same someday. As you
embrace him farewell, you will be surprised at the
warmth you feel. Something is passing between you,
heart to heart. Wordlessly, you are thanking him for
being the preferred partner of the woman in the red
dress. She was right to want to dance with him,
because he is a man with an open heart. And now,
thanks in part to her, so are you.
That's all for now.
Randy
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 01:51:38 -0800
From: David Hodgson <DHodgson@TANGO777.COM>
Subject: Re: How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
This is just beatuiful..
Would not wearing a festive small party hat with large gold letters spelling
out the words "American" work better and get a more poignant response.
David~
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2003 11:06 PM
To: TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
Subject: [TANGO-L] How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
How to Get Dances with Argentine Women
