4877  Human Consideration

Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2007 13:04:36 -0400
From: "Fantasia Sorenson" <bichonheels@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Human Consideration
To: "Tango-L List" <tango-l@mit.edu>
<b0a530950704121004w1c810070h17418476c1e7e838@mail.gmail.com>

I loved Deby's post about human consideration as I do all of her posts.

I would like to comment on one part at the end of her post.

On 4/11/07, Deby Novitz <dnovitz@lavidacondeby.com> wrote:

>
> I realize when people come here to visit the object is to dance as much
> as you can with the best dancers that will dance with you. You want to
> dance every tanda at every milonga. With this mentality you easily
> reject people who do not meet your standard so you can find someone who
> does. Gotta dance, gotta dance. Here we have another idea - we go for
> quality not quantity.

Guilty! I confess it to everyone here and now.

1. Saw the movies.
2. Bought tickets for the shows.
3. Um... bought MORE tickets for the shows.
4. Signed up for the classes.
5. Um... bought DVDs of the movies I saw already.
6. Was sickened by the poverty of my existing wardrobe.
7. Maxed my credit cards on new clothes, none of which I can wear at work.
8. Signed up for privates.
9. Showed up for school-sponsored milongas... GOTTA DANCE.

Deby, it isn't only in Buenos Aires that we GOTTA DANCE. I showed up to my
first milongas here with major, I mean MAJOR expections. I was overcome with
dreams and debt. Only one thing mattered now (and I borrow this phrase from
another private correspondent), getting my money's worth.

Patience? You must be kidding me. I had no patience for patience. GOTTA
DANCE.

At first that meant simply plying the perimeters of the rooms with feral
intensity. Later, it amounted to an indiscriminate "lock and load" on every
male warmer than a cadaver.

What was the payoff? Did I get what I wanted? NO! And let me tell you, I was
pretty disappointed and resentful. How can anyone not want to dance with me
when I'm so pretty and my checkbook is bleeding so much red ink?

Sigh...

Eventually I discerned that each new batch of students was reenacting this
same cycle. Maybe unless you grow up in Argentina, you're just going to go
through it, sort of like molting. Maybe it's just part of the process.

Rude awakening, but I'm a little calmer about it now, especially since I've
just about paid off my credit cards at this point.

Fan

Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2007 11:05:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Human Consideration
To: Fantasia Sorenson <bichonheels@gmail.com>, Tango-L List
<tango-l@mit.edu>

That?s a good thing to realize, but don?t be too hard on
yourself, Fan. Teachers and organizers are responsible to
some degree for managing expectations of new members in the
community. They do it by what they say and how they treat
people. Their attitude often gets picked up by their
students who spread it to new students and spread it to
newer students later on, etc. Sometimes the new students
will feed that back to a different teacher/organizer.

It could be that your experience goes back to the common
problem of not enough men dancing tango. Most guys try to
be good about dancing with all of the women, especially the
new ones. But at some point, they get burned out and
gravitate toward dancing with only certain partners.

Women who don?t make the realization that you do eventually
leave tango. But I consider it a good thing. It irks me
when women come to a milonga to dance with a specific
person and then leave right afterwards. It?s treating
people as objects instead of as people. Who needs that in
tango?

Trini de Pittsburgh

--- Fantasia Sorenson <bichonheels@gmail.com> wrote:

> I loved Deby's post about human consideration as I do all
> of her posts.
>
> I would like to comment on one part at the end of her
> post.
>
> On 4/11/07, Deby Novitz <dnovitz@lavidacondeby.com>
> wrote:
> >
> > I realize when people come here to visit the object is
> to dance as much
> > as you can with the best dancers that will dance with
> you. You want to
> > dance every tanda at every milonga. With this
> mentality you easily
> > reject people who do not meet your standard so you can
> find someone who
> > does. Gotta dance, gotta dance. Here we have another
> idea - we go for
> > quality not quantity.
>
>
> Guilty! I confess it to everyone here and now.
>
> 1. Saw the movies.
> 2. Bought tickets for the shows.
> 3. Um... bought MORE tickets for the shows.
> 4. Signed up for the classes.
> 5. Um... bought DVDs of the movies I saw already.
> 6. Was sickened by the poverty of my existing wardrobe.
> 7. Maxed my credit cards on new clothes, none of which I
> can wear at work.
> 8. Signed up for privates.
> 9. Showed up for school-sponsored milongas... GOTTA
> DANCE.
>
> Deby, it isn't only in Buenos Aires that we GOTTA DANCE.
> I showed up to my
> first milongas here with major, I mean MAJOR expections.
> I was overcome with
> dreams and debt. Only one thing mattered now (and I
> borrow this phrase from
> another private correspondent), getting my money's worth.
>
> Patience? You must be kidding me. I had no patience for
> patience. GOTTA
> DANCE.
>
> At first that meant simply plying the perimeters of the
> rooms with feral
> intensity. Later, it amounted to an indiscriminate "lock
> and load" on every
> male warmer than a cadaver.
>
> What was the payoff? Did I get what I wanted? NO! And let
> me tell you, I was
> pretty disappointed and resentful. How can anyone not
> want to dance with me
> when I'm so pretty and my checkbook is bleeding so much
> red ink?
>
> Sigh...
>
> Eventually I discerned that each new batch of students
> was reenacting this
> same cycle. Maybe unless you grow up in Argentina, you're
> just going to go
> through it, sort of like molting. Maybe it's just part of
> the process.
>
> Rude awakening, but I'm a little calmer about it now,
> especially since I've
> just about paid off my credit cards at this point.
>
> Fan
>

PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
https://patangos.home.comcast.net/




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