1086  if women (like me!) did the asking

Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 23:49:07 -0600
From: Lois Donnay <donnay@DONNAY.NET>
Subject: if women (like me!) did the asking

If women did the asking, there would be less focus on the physical, and more
on those pesky feelings! Seriously, if you want every follower to pick you,
just be completely considerate of her during the whole dance. Make her
comfortable and pretty. Duh.

When I lead (which can be frequently, in tango and other dances) whom do I
pick? Well, I have my favorites. Those I've danced with before and are a
pleasure to lead. When I'm faced with a room full of followers that I
haven't danced with before, I watch for technique and to see how other
leaders fare. I also look for women who I know take classes. That's a sign
that they care. I also tend to pick smaller women (I'm on the small side)
and nice women who can relax and have fun. What I don't like is when I ask a
woman to dance, she reluctantly accepts, and then expresses her displeasure
on the dancefloor. I'd rather she turn me down.

Sometimes the better followers don't get asked because they intimidate some
men, especially those without much self-confidence or talent. It's much
easier to protect their egos when they ask a new dancer. She doesn't know if
they're good or not. I suppose it's also easier than working to get better.
There are also guys who especially like pretty young things. That's OK. They
keep more men coming into tango. It also leaves the better dancers for me!

Lois from Mpls

>
>
> My pet peeves are: sound quality & snootiness.
>
> I'm sure this has been rehashed on this list before, "if women did
> the asking for dances".
>
> A friend told me last night she looks for someone that can lead
> what they know well, are considerate & connect well with her.
>
> R
>