5499  Krasimir vs anticipation...

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:28:07 +0100
From: desdelasnubes@web.de
Subject: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation...
To: krasimir@krasimir.com, tango-l@mit.edu

>I am desperate, and I don't think anyone can help, it is the job of the
>follower to stop guessing and anticipating - the correct technique is in
>place to make the movement the right way, but she's simply not using it. The
>second she "decides" to do something, she just ignores the skills I thought
>to her. Yes, I know she is too new in tango, but these kind of going from 0%
>to 100% and back from dance to dance are something I have no idea how to
>deal with.

>Is this because she lacks the talent needed?

As followers we love to dance with GENTLEmen that are as gentle as they can possibly be.
What is encouraging for a follower? It is to feel the confidence that the gentle
generous experienced leader conveys to her. The most gentle of leaders make the
follower relax.
The most gentle of leaders will give the follower the feeling that she is a queen. Una reina.
Does a queen have to bother about a mistake? The generous leader will tell her with a gentle smile:
it is all in the leader's responsibilty.
What is the core of anticipation? It is a follower that tries to meet the expectation of the
leader.
This is very common for beginners but not only for beginners.
Followers are very sensitive to the feelings conveyed. A follower can sense your impatience, your
horror of her anticipation. A sensitive follower will sense you questioning her talent.
And the result will be worse. How can you expect a follower to relax when she has
sensed she does not have the leaders' confidence and she cannot count on his gentle generosity?

It might take time for a follower to come to understand she is not there
to meet the expectation of an impatient leader ;)
But to enjoy dancing.

Anna







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Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:54:31 +0200
From: "Krasimir Stoyanov" <krasimir@krasimir.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation...
To: <tango-l@mit.edu>

I do not agree about the queen thing, but for everything else, you are
right.
I keep telling her that I don't care about the random mistakes, so there is
no need for her preoccupation, it's the systematic ones that bother me . . .


----- Original Message -----

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:28:18 +0000
From: Jay Rabe <jayrabe@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation...
To: <tango-l@mit.edu>


I thought this was so great I thought it needed to be emphasized.

Anna wrote (paraphrased):

Followers feel the confidence that the gentle, generous, experienced leader conveys to her.
The most gentle of leaders make the follower relax.

The core of anticipation: a follower that tries to meet the expectation of the leader.

Followers are very sensitive to the feelings conveyed. A follower can sense your impatience, your
horror of her anticipation.
A sensitive follower will sense you questioning her talent. And the result will be worse. How can you expect a follower to relax when she has sensed she does not have the leaders' confidence and she cannot count on his gentle generosity?
============================

Excellent, Anna. Thank you for the clarity.



J
TangoMoments.com




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Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2008 03:28:00 +0900
From: "Astrid" <astrid@ruby.plala.or.jp>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation...
To: "Krasimir Stoyanov" <krasimir@krasimir.com>, <tango-l@mit.edu>

>I do not agree about the queen thing, but for everything else, you are
> right.
> I keep telling her that I don't care about the random mistakes, so there
> is
> no need for her preoccupation, it's the systematic ones that bother me . .
> .
>

One of the most important qualities in learning how to follow is trust. And
it is VERY hard to trust when it feels more like the blind are leading the
blind. Maybe you should watch how she does with a better dancer than you?

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 12:44:06 -0800 (PST)
From: Tango For Her <tangopeer@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation...
To: tango-l@mit.edu


--- Astrid <astrid@ruby.plala.or.jp> wrote:

> >I do not agree about the queen thing, but for
> everything else, you are
> > right.
> > I keep telling her that I don't care about the
> random mistakes, so there
> > is
> > no need for her preoccupation, it's the systematic
> ones that bother me . .
> > .
> >

Here is one of my basic beliefs:

A movement consists of a lot of small communications.
I communicate to her and she communicates back to me,
and so on.

So, as we move through a step, WE collaborate. WE
both did the best that WE could do. Therefore, there
is no reason to place the blame on her.

Did she do something that I did not intend? Fine.

Next time, I will try harder to communicate my
intentions a little better.

My partners, as far as I know, believe in me. Why?
Because, we are always doing the right movement. How
do I know this? Because, all the way through the
movement, WE agreed on it, together!!!!

If I want something to be different, I will try harder
to communicate. If it still does not work. Then,
perhaps, there is something for ME to learn!

Don't blame the follower! You are so lucky to have
her!!!









Be a better friend, newshound, and

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:37:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Tango For Her <tangopeer@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Krasimir vs anticipation... correction
To: tango-l@mit.edu

In my last post on this subject, I cut-n-paste too
quickly and ended up with Astrid's name as the author
to Kasimir's quote. Sorry, Astrid!

>
> --- Kasimir wrote:
>
> > >I do not agree about the queen thing, but for
> > everything else, you are
> > > right.
> > > I keep telling her that I don't care about the
> > random mistakes, so there
> > > is
> > > no need for her preoccupation, it's the
> systematic
> > ones that bother me . .
> > > .
> > >
>

Then, I wrote:

> Here is one of my basic beliefs:
>
> A movement consists of a lot of small
> communications.
> I communicate to her and she communicates back to
> me,
> and so on.
>
> So, as we move through a step, WE collaborate. WE
> both did the best that WE could do. Therefore,
> there
> is no reason to place the blame on her.
>
> Did she do something that I did not intend? Fine.
>
> Next time, I will try harder to communicate my
> intentions a little better.
>
> My partners, as far as I know, believe in me. Why?
> Because, we are always doing the right movement.
> How
> do I know this? Because, all the way through the
> movement, WE agreed on it, together!!!!
>
> If I want something to be different, I will try
> harder
> to communicate. If it still does not work. Then,
> perhaps, there is something for ME to learn!
>
> Don't blame the follower! You are so lucky to have
> her!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Be a better friend, newshound, and
>
>
>
>

Be a better friend, newshound, and