3263  milongueros (and wives)

Date: Sat, 26 Feb 2005 12:05:05 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: milongueros (and wives)

> I think that your point of view makes more sense than mine.
> Maybe his wife knows and is happier to have him out of the house for a
> while.
>
> What I had in mind was that he should go to the milongas with his wife,

Oh, no, Elemer. In Argentina there is a saying among milongueros:"There is
nothing more boring than going to a milonga with your own wife."
I was once given a copy of a small book, a collection of tango essays that a
tanguera journalist wrote for a BsAs magazine. She explained the code of
ethics at the milongas:
-Never ask for anyone's personal details, they may not want to tell you.
Their profession, place of residence and so on are things they may prefer to
keep private. After all, it does not exactly enhance your image and
reputation if people know you are a milonguero, outside your office job.
-If somebody suddenly shows up accompanied by a person of the other sex, do
not greet them or acknowledge their presence, even if he/she is your friend.
The partner may not be his/her spouse, so they may not want to call
attention to themselves.
-Never openly ask for someone's phone nr., join a lady at her table after a
tanda, or leave the milonga together with your new flirt. All these things
need to be done very discreetly. You don't want to invite gossip,and
especially, not for the rumours to reach your spouse. Meetings after the
milonga should be done in secret. Ask your new friend to meet you down the
street after the milonga, and spend the rest of the evening at separate
tables.

Now, if you think, all of this sounds awfully old fashioned, reflect on what
tango (and other social dance) actually is. A chance to embrace people you
are not committed to. A chance to get a break from your wife/husband... Of
course, it may be nice to go with your own partner, but everybody just
dancing with their own spouse would make dance floors a rather boring place.

Astrid