881  Partner communication in dance

Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 11:54:46 -0800
From: Jonathan Thornton <jnt@NOYAU.COM>
Subject: Partner communication in dance

I have been focusing so intently on musicality that I have mostly been
considering my relationship to the music and the relationship of dancing
to the music.

I now turn and begin to ask myself about my relationship to my partner.
Dancing is often by the individual to the music, but in social partner
lead/follow dance there is the non verbal communication of the partners
that is probably the prime focus of the dance. That communication can be
technical, playful, emotional, spiritual and on and on. It includes
lead/follow conventions, connection, and other less explicitly specified
modes.

I'm interested in trying to understand what individuals seek in partnering
in tango. I don't imagine everyone seeks the same experiences. Why do you
dance tango, what do you get from it, do you want more, something
different? Have you ever grown so dissatisfied with your experiences that
you stopped dancing or know others who have?

I'm focusing on the non verbal aspect of the dance. Yes folks go to
milongas and talk with one another, but that is common to many other
activities. I'm looking for what is unique to partnered dance and trying
to clarify to myself the nature and appeal of this relating.

Thanks,

Jonathan Thornton

Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 20:39:51 +0000
From: Daisy Gardiner <tawny_port@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Partner communication in dance

Jonathan, as a follower, I'm looking for connection with my partner: the
unique connection that is possible through the medium of touch and music and
dance. The connection is unique because my relationship with each partner
is specific to that man.
So, what is this thing I call "connection?" It's the way that we're in sync
with one another. And, where does it come from? It comes from the embrace
(close, I hope), from my partner's interpretation of the music (He's
leading, after all), and from the feeling that he's dancing with ME (not
with himself and just taking me along for the ride).
Now it gets complicated. How do I know that he's dancing with ME? Well,
he's not pushing, pulling or dragging... That's no way to relate to a lady.
He is sensitive to the fact that not every night is a "wonderful boleo
night." If I'm having a "not-so-wonderful boleo night" or even a "spare me
the ganchos" night, then I'd like my partner to sense that after one or two
tries, and relate to ME. It's not about what we can do, but rather, who we
are. We can dance a perfectly beautiful tango without the frills, and
sometimes that works best.
Dancing for the crowd pretty much excludes connection, unless you're dancing
with a regular partner and you've agreed to put on a show. I don't want my
partner to show off for me or for anyone else. I want him to put down his
guard and dance with me, sensing who I am in the wordless communication that
takes place in those three minutes. He's holding me and we're moving
through time and space together and these three minutes will never ever be
repeated, so I want him to be totally present in this time that he's
spending with me.
Daisy

Date: Tue, 10 Dec 2002 23:11:21 -0800
From: luda_r1 <luda_r1@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Partner communication in dance

Jonathan wrote:

".... Have you ever grown so dissatisfied with
your experiences that
you stopped dancing or know others who have?..."

I sure do. Several men and women I've talked to who've
given up tango felt that all the sound and fury about
it at the moment is just plain silly. :)

Luda