2220  Protect Your Partner

Date: Fri, 6 Feb 2004 09:45:44 -0800
From: Razor Girl <dilettante666@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Protect Your Partner

Hi,

I have to speak up on the issue of men who jab others
with elbows or say something nasty to the guy who
wasn't respecting the line of dance or navigating
recklessly.

I suppose I can understand if you feel you must
respond that way, but know this: it is not attractive
to your partner, at least not if I am your partner.

Dancing on crowded dance floors is like defensive
driving. The leader is responsible for navigating
defensively. You may not enjoy the jerk that is
disregarding all the rules but if you act out against
him you are not discouraging anything you are only
perpetuating disrespectful behavior. That jerk is
probably thinking you are the jerk. And if you kick
him, elbow him or whatever, he might just be inspired
to be a worse jerk back to you.

The leader's job is also making his partner feel
comfortable. You have created for me a beautiful
space where I can drift off and enjoy your presence
and the music and our beautiful dance together. If
another couple interrupts this trance, your first
thought should be how to preserve that lovely feeling.
By acting out against another couple that is just
trying to enjoy their own moments together you will
have disconnected from me and our shared moment.
Accidents do happen and are sometimes unavoidable, but
how you respond to them shows me what kind of man you
are. Personally I enjoy the kind that does not get so
easily ticked that he has to be vindictive.

I have danced on some very crowded floors. I have the
greatest respect for the leaders that can navigate
those floors and make me feel that when I close my
eyes and relax into his arms that we are the only two
people in the room.

Leaders should focus more on honing their own skills
than trying to change the skills of others through
"making them suffer consequences".

Followers can also be responsible for the reckless
leaders by chosing not to dance with them. Or even
controlling them. Followers know when their leaders
are out of control. We can stand strong and not allow
them to bump into other couples, or not allowing high
boleos on a crowded dance floor. It is possible that
leader will think our behavior is disruptive to his
personal expression...but I think it is a far better
lesson than getting elbowed.

Regards,
Rose
Portland, OR

Date: Fri, 6 Feb 2004 09:51:52 -0800
From: Carlos Rojas <Crojas@HACIENDACDC.ORG>
Subject: Re: Protect Your Partner

Rosa,
Very inspirational, thank you. You are the woman.

Besos

Carlos Rojas
Portland, OR


-----Original Message-----

Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 9:46 AM
To: TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
Subject: [TANGO-L] Protect Your Partner

Hi,

I have to speak up on the issue of men who jab others
with elbows or say something nasty to the guy who
wasn't respecting the line of dance or navigating
recklessly.

I suppose I can understand if you feel you must
respond that way, but know this: it is not attractive
to your partner, at least not if I am your partner.

Dancing on crowded dance floors is like defensive
driving. The leader is responsible for navigating
defensively. You may not enjoy the jerk that is
disregarding all the rules but if you act out against
him you are not discouraging anything you are only
perpetuating disrespectful behavior. That jerk is
probably thinking you are the jerk. And if you kick
him, elbow him or whatever, he might just be inspired
to be a worse jerk back to you.

The leader's job is also making his partner feel
comfortable. You have created for me a beautiful
space where I can drift off and enjoy your presence
and the music and our beautiful dance together. If
another couple interrupts this trance, your first
thought should be how to preserve that lovely feeling.
By acting out against another couple that is just
trying to enjoy their own moments together you will
have disconnected from me and our shared moment.
Accidents do happen and are sometimes unavoidable, but
how you respond to them shows me what kind of man you
are. Personally I enjoy the kind that does not get so
easily ticked that he has to be vindictive.

I have danced on some very crowded floors. I have the
greatest respect for the leaders that can navigate
those floors and make me feel that when I close my
eyes and relax into his arms that we are the only two
people in the room.

Leaders should focus more on honing their own skills
than trying to change the skills of others through
"making them suffer consequences".

Followers can also be responsible for the reckless
leaders by chosing not to dance with them. Or even
controlling them. Followers know when their leaders
are out of control. We can stand strong and not allow
them to bump into other couples, or not allowing high
boleos on a crowded dance floor. It is possible that
leader will think our behavior is disruptive to his
personal expression...but I think it is a far better
lesson than getting elbowed.

Regards,
Rose
Portland, OR

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