5608  Rude floorcraft

Date: Sat, 11 Apr 2009 19:36:09 -0400
From: Andrea Katz <ako31@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Rude floorcraft
To: tango-l@mit.edu


hi j -

my theory about rude floor craft (which also can include a follower
doing unmindful embellishments) is similar to the persons who own
barking dogs.

one has usually lost before one has started when confronting someone
about a dog barking - the dog wouldnt be barking in the first place if
the owner was mindful.

on the dance floor one cant file a civil complaint, but being a
gracious rather than a confrontative co- inhabitor of floor space
helps. even if i am stepped on i say 'so sorry'.

today i ended up between two testosterone filled leaders. my leader
was cut off by the other who danced back against the line of dance
into us, which caused me to step onto the other follower. my leader
yelled out , 'say sorry'...which led to an 'it was YOUR faults and YOU
SHOULD HAVES' capturing the attention of most on the floor.... i
suggested they both apologize because none of it was INTENTIONAL -
which didnt work because one of them is a continual hazard on the
floor and many have pent up anger at him.

but still, i think being generous and gracious goes a long way - in
aikdo (which i gave up for tango because i got hurt too much, hah!) we
used to say - give in to get your own way. since an enjoyable dance
for all is what we all want, i say "so sorry" goes a long way as well
as defensive driving on the part of leaders who know who is a pain in
the neck on the dance floor and need to be avoided.

i also - while i am at it - must mention that i have gotten nailed
numerous times by a spike heel and have found continuing dancing is
the best way to deal with the pain rather than shreiking and blaming
like i have seen quite a few followers do...

andrea