104  Stiffness, tenseness, what's the right word

Date: Tue, 24 Jul 2001 04:47:58 +0800
From: michael ditkoff <tangomaniac@JUNO.COM>
Subject: Stiffness, tenseness, what's the right word

> Rajan wrote:

"If we are not going to call it 'resistance' or 'stiffness'(again stiffness> is not> the same as tenseness :-), I wonder what would be an appropriate term for > it would be."

I prefer to use the word "toned." Neither partner should be pushing off each other's frame. A common mistake is for one of the partners to ask for or give "resistance", particularly in the woman's right arm and the man's left. Resistance usually gets translated as "push until I feel something hard." If you observe, you can see one or both partners clasping the other's hand in a tight grip. You can see the tension cascading down their arms.

IMHO, "toned" means the frame firm, but loose. Arms aren't sagging. The easiest way I can explain it is to think of pressing an elevator button. Your finger is toned to press the button. Your arm ISN'T tight (from having flexed muscles). You don't need the strength of the Hulk. The tighter the muscles, the more difficult it will be to communicate (send and receive) the lead.

Michael
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