462 Tango Myths - Tango is Sexy
Date: Sun, 10 Mar 2002 03:42:07 -0800
From: "Larry E. Carroll" <larrydla@JUNO.COM>
Subject: Tango Myths - Tango is Sexy
Tango-show advertisements always seem to include the words "steamy" and
"sexy," often "sizzling." Reporters writing about tango shows or tango
dancing do the same. And when we try to explain tango to non-tango-
dancers we often describe tango as the sexiest dance of all.
This is nonsense.
Think about the sexiest act anyone can do to you. Then think of the
most revolting, hateful person in the world doing it to you. If this
imagery excites you, you are a very rare person!
Imagine me, who just turned 60. Imagine that I truly am all that I would
like to believe I am: tall, strong, agile, great dresser, terrific
dancer, charming, caring, funny, good looking. Now imagine me dancing
with a 20-year old woman, and using all the sexy tango techniques. Is
she going to get wet and bothered, start thinking about getting me in a
back room? Get real. The chances are millions to one against. Instead
she is going to think "What does this old pervert think he's DOING?!"
It is not WHAT is being done to you that is important. It is WHO is
doing it.
Not only 'who' is important. Even more important, it is HOW something is
done.
Tango is a language, of sorts. Like any language some people are very
boring, incompetent speakers. They speak in a monotone like a machine,
always the same speed, always the same loudness. They may have an
impressively large vocabulary and command of grammar, but show no
imagination in their selection of words and sentence structure. When
they talk, they intone monologs rather than a back-and-forth sharing of
selves.
Sound like a lot of tango dancers you know? Like the figure-meisters who
do these long choreographed sequences with no regard for others on the
floor, no willingness or maybe ability to flow one figure into another
if the old figure would lead to a collision? The dancers who are very
acrobatic and accomplished, but have absolutely no clue that music is
more than a metronome (or who may not even dance on the beat)?
Then at the other extreme are those dancers who can rival Coleridge with
their bodies. IN XANADU DID KUBLAI KHAN A STATELY PLEASURE DOME DECREE,
WHERE ALF THE SACRED RIVER RAN FROM THE MOUNTAINS TO THE SEA. All simple
everyday words except the person/place names, yet a marvel of
expression.
Haven't you danced tango with someone like that? Who did the simplest
things but made aching, exhilarating poetry of them?
So SPECIFICALLY how do you seduce/court someone with tango?
Like any work of art it has many ingredients, some of them so subtle you
may not consciously notice them.
One is attention. You convince your partner that s/he is important to
you. On the stage this is shown by two dancers staring fixedly in each
others eyes nose-to-nose. This is stage shorthand for attention. Imagine
if you actually did this on the social dance floor. The two of you would
likely start giggling uncontrollably at each other's crossed eyes and
expressions more reminiscent of gas than passion.
Instead you really look at each other as you approach for an embrace.
Maybe you run your gaze up and down your partner's body - but you do it
just right, expressing appreciation but not contempt. When dancing you
make tiny adjustments to each other's bodies, to each other's dance
abilities and limits, and other ways - all of them saying you value them
as unique individuals, unlike anyone else in all the world and all of
history.
When you embrace your partner do so gently, tenderly, as you would an
infant. Or do it roughly - if you and s/he trust each other and
have the skill to suggest violent passion, forcefulness that is just the
right side of pain rather than being actual pain, actual damage. The
equivalent in speech is speaking softly OR loudly but not screaming in
their ear.
Some tango movements do not work. Ganchos between your partner's legs
are so familiar that they no longer have any sexual jolt; they are just
acrobatic tricks that are fun but hardly sexy. Caressing your partner's
leg with your foot; we have had this done to us thousands of times and
like all cliches these caresses are empty of impact.
Unless - ganchos or caricias (or whatever) are done just right. Such as:
s/he does the caress very slowly and carefully, with a touch so light it
is almost not felt. This is exactly the kind of act that is the most
sensual. Have you ever had someone run their finger over your forearm,
at just the height above your skin that their finger just BARELY brushes
the hairs? Have you ever been kissed so lightly you could hardly feel it
- but it felt so good it was almost torture?
I could go on for literally an entire book on this subject, for great
art has great depths and heights. I'll just mention the greatest secret
of great sex, on or off the dance floor. No matter how much experience
and virtuosity you have, you can never know everything about what will
give your partner pleasure. You must ASK h/ir what they, a unique
individual, wants at this unique moment. But (almost) never in words.
And pay close attention to their answer.
This is enough to make the point - it is not WHAT that is done to you
that is sexy, but WHO your partners are and HOW they do it.
In other words, tango is not sexy. People are.
Larry de Los Angeles
https://home.att.net/~larrydla
Date: Sun, 10 Mar 2002 16:30:57 EST
From: Denise Montavo <FrogsTango2@AOL.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango Myths - Tango is Sexy
The Tango as Sexy. The problem could very well be the word "Sexy" and the
problem of the American culture in translating almost anything into the word
"Sex" since "Sex" sells or so the advertisers assure us.
The Tango is "Sensual" in music and in dance, this sensuality is the Tango's
inheritance from the Africans and enhanced by the Latin American culture and
spirit, please guard with your lives any move to European or Americanize this
precious art form.
The DJ's of Tango, the sequencing of the music played in the Milonga's is
designed to build from a couple's introduction through to the climax of their
encounter. The poses of the men and women exude sensuality, the Tango walk
exudes sensuality, the dress of the women exudes sensuality, the turn of the
leg, the position of the foot, the kick.... Forgive me I must now go and take
a cold shower (smile).
At 60 ish with a love for the Tango and a heart for it's spirit makes "You"
the Sexiest man alive!!!!!!
Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 17:47:44 -0600
From: "Frank G. Williams" <frankw@MAIL.AHC.UMN.EDU>
Subject: Re: Tango Myths - Tango is Sexy
Denise, you write like somebody I know with a different name who ought
to
have more than a passing acquaintance with Larry! But I'm not one to spill
any beans... ;-)
Denise Montavo wrote:
> The poses of the men and women exude sensuality, the Tango walk
> exudes sensuality, the dress of the women exudes sensuality, the turn of the
> leg, the position of the foot, the kick.... Forgive me I must now go and take
> a cold shower (smile).
> At 60 ish with a love for the Tango and a heart for it's spirit makes "You"
> the Sexiest man alive!!!!!!
I think that tango appeals to individuals with 'experience' (like Larry
and
'Denise'). Indeed, some of my Argentine friends have heard the advice
that it's
best to wait to learn tango, and save it for later in life. I don't
necessarily
agree, but we are certainly not alone in considering tango's appeal. I
posted a
few thoughts like Larry's a little more than a year ago, which I quote.
"Tango is fundamentally a sensual emotional pursuit in which somatic
feedback
produces MUSICAL gratification - a complex pleasure. Sex, on the other
hand,
is also (hopefully) a sensual emotional experience but the somatic
feedback
produces a different complex pleasure - TACTILE gratification.
Individuals
with 'experience'seem able to dissociate that which is sensual and
emotional
from that which is erotic, a distinction that is blurred in many aspects
of
North American culture. To my thinking, neither tango nor sex is necessarily
more compelling in terms of sensuality or emotion. I don't claim that
it is mandatory in tango to discriminate against the erotic, but it
certainly helps a leader's composure and artistic focus! ...and I know
that you followers are acutely aware when a rare leader cannot hide 'the
dark side of their responsibility to the species'. (sly smile) On the
other hand, I recall some dances that improved dramatically after the
follower
stopped trembling. But that's hard to interpret and I digress..."
I think it is safe to say that there is no bad way to enjoy good tango.
All the best,
Frank in Minneapolis
(where the tango *frogs* are in hibernation)
--
Frank G. Williams, Ph.D. University of Minnesota
frankw@mail.ahc.umn.edu Dept. of Neuroscience
(612) 625-6441 (office) 321 Church Street SE
(612) 624-4436 (lab) Minneapolis, MN 55455
(612) 281-3860 (cellular/home)
