1856 Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 18:17:04 EDT
From: AHGberg@AOL.COM
Subject: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Hi Listeros:
It took me two full days (normally it takes only one day)to recover fully
from the dancing I did last Sunday Night.
I made the extra effort to dance wth as many ladies as were available to
dance with me at last Sunday's Milonga.
It is interesting to observe that no one was discussing the style of Tango
any one danced so as to alleviate or avoid a conflict of movement out on the
dance floor between partners. Yet each person seemed to make the necesssary
adjustment(s) to successfully dance Tango with any other person who happened to
come along and seek a partner to dance Tango with. Little guys were dancing
with taller partners; taller guys were dancing with smaller partners. Many
danced "close together". Others danced with considerable space between partners.
Some couples varied their hold several times during the dance so they
defied accurate categorization..... Some danced very close together but would not
commit (to me) that they were dancing Milonguero style. They called it close
contact social style. I called it club style. Some called what they did,
"salon style". They took up less space since they required significantly less
space in which to dance. The lady's left arm and hand went all the way up and
frequently reached around her male partner's neck . These very friendly
dancers appeared to me to be intimately involved, at least while they were on the
floor. Once the music ended and they left the floor....
Off the dance floor they each often went their seperate ways. The Ladies
who danced this very close style all had their eyes closed and a "dreamy look
on their faces". Frequently the non parallel (offset hold) dancers covered more
space and moved around the dance floor more quickly than the "very close"
embrace crew. The floor never got quite that full to demand that all dancers
were obliged to take a much closer hold
( forced to economize on space). Some dancers danced what could only be
described as a mild and semi grounded form of "fantasia". Although I was
prepared to discuss the "style differences" that were being performed, there were
very few dancers who considered that any discussion or analysis was relevant
to the success of their individual tango encounters.
When the floor gets "overcrowded" many who did not want to "dance smooch
style" tango remained seated and enjoyed a plate of food or a nice glass of wine
mixed with social conversation. :-)
Regards,
Arturo
West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 17:21:28 -0700
From: Razor Girl <dilettante666@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
> Although I was
> prepared to discuss the "style differences" that
> were being performed, there were
> very few dancers who considered that any discussion
> or analysis was relevant
> to the success of their individual tango
> encounters.
I agree with this. And I can tell you that when I'm
sitting out talking with the girls, we are not
discussing whether a guy has a nice salon or apilado
style we talk about how he feels, how he's sensitive,
how he can make the whole room disappear when we are
in his arms ;-)
Style doesn't matter, how you make your partner feel
does.
Rose
Portland,OR
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 08:42:30 +0200
From: Ecsedy Áron <aron.ecsedy@OM.HU>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Dear Rose,
This is a general error women usually make (not just in tango, in life as well):
Style DOES matter, since you will not feel the same way if the dancer gives more on looks than leading. And if you start to categorize things, =
the whole thing will boil down to the actual concept the tanguero has about its dancing (which we describe here as "style").
Of course it is possible to have a good lead and look good at the same time, just here on the list people seem to make a division which doesn't =
exist - as most posters actually tried to explain. There is a difference in approach, yes, everyone has an "inclination" to dance more like A or =
B, but it is never JUST A or B. (enough said about that)
Cheers,
Aron
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Razor Girl [mailto:dilettante666@YAHOO.COM]
> Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2003 2:21 AM
> To: TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
> Subject: Re: [TANGO-L] Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic
> Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
>
>
> > Although I was
> > prepared to discuss the "style differences" that
> > were being performed, there were
> > very few dancers who considered that any discussion
> > or analysis was relevant
> > to the success of their individual tango
> > encounters.
>
> I agree with this. And I can tell you that when I'm
> sitting out talking with the girls, we are not
> discussing whether a guy has a nice salon or apilado
> style we talk about how he feels, how he's sensitive,
> how he can make the whole room disappear when we are
> in his arms ;-)
>
> Style doesn't matter, how you make your partner feel
> does.
>
> Rose
> Portland,OR
>
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 19:54:17 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Rose wrote:
And I can tell you that when I'm
sitting out talking with the girls, we are not
discussing whether a guy has a nice salon or apilado
style we talk about how he feels, how he's sensitive,
how he can make the whole room disappear when we are
in his arms ;-)
Ecsedy answered:
This is a general error women usually make (not just in tango, in life as
well):
Style DOES matter, since you will not feel the same way if the dancer gives
more on looks than leading. And if you start to categorize things, the whole
thing will boil down to the actual concept the tanguero has about its
dancing (which we describe here as "style").
Ok, girls (girls?), one thing:
after all the usual back and forth and around on tango-L, I do not want to
start a new thread about the chicken and the egg, but:
The actual concept a tanguero has about his dancing, is IMO very closely
related to the concept he has about himself, about women, and about life in
general. And the latter concept has a direct influence on the style he
chooses to dance in tango, and most certainly on the way the woman
experoences him in the dance. We have a saying:"You dance for three minutes
with a man, and you know all about him." And this is no error in female
thinking.
Ezequiel Farfaro once told me:"I dance tango because I like women." An
honest statement, and an attitude that makes him wonderful to dance with.
Other men, who in life would tend to use women as props for their show, will
tend to do the same in tango, and use them as practise dummies.
Astrid's two cents
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 09:27:02 -0700
From: Carlos Rojas <crojas@HACIENDACDC.ORG>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Rose,
Thank you for bringing the female perspective, your comments summarize
the whole essence of tango:
"we talk about how he feels, how he's sensitive, how he can make the
whole room disappear when we are in his arms ;-)"
Tango is not about steps or styles, is about sharing an intimate and
passionate walk with your partner to the melody of the music. And as
men, it is our responsibility to work for her, to take care of her, to
meet her needs, and to take responsibility for any and all mistakes in
the dance floor (even if we think it is not our fault).
At the milonguero weekend in Denver last month, I had a lot of wonderful
dances, in particular I danced with a woman that made the room disappear
for me, time stood still, brought tears to my eyes and fire to my heart.
The phony thing is that I don't remember nor did I care what style or
steps we were dancing.
When I started tango, I too concentrated on styles and steps, and I used
to dance socially to Piazzolla and Hugo Diaz (I still love and listen
the music), but I am thankful that I went to Buenos Aires, learned tango
and to appreciate and understand danceable music.
I encourage everyone to print Robert Hauk's last e-mail (9/30/03 pasted
below), read it several times, put it up in a wall. He has given us the
best advice if you really want to learn tango.
And please, let's listen to our partners, our steps and/or style means
nothing is she is not satisfied. I suggest that we as men should
concentrate on caring for her, take care of her and try to make her feel
like a billion bucks; the steps and style do not matter and will come to
us later.
Carlos Rojas
Portland, OR
[Robert Hauk's e-mail
I think you have stated things well, as they are understood outside of
Buenos Aires. It is interesting to watch the master teachers, who teach
what you call style B, when they dance at a milonga. They dance what
they dance but in the manor of style A. The point is that it may only
seem like there is a style B and a style A. At a milonga there is a
time later in the night when there is more room on the floor, and then
Style B is possible. Earlier when the party is in full swing Style A is
what is possible. All the master teachers I have ever seen do it this
way. This is the way the younger generation, who are supposedly doing
'nuevo tango' do it in Buenos Aires. So in a sense I would argue that
style A and style B aren't all that different. If you are dancing at a
milonga you respect the other dancers, and the available space guides
your dance. That is social tango and it can be danced using any style
of tango.
As for music, if you associate style B with dancing to Piazzola and
Pugliese exclusively, then maybe you haven't seen enough performances by
the master teachers that are out there. They dance to everything. I
have seen them do performances to D'Arienzo, Calo, Di Sarli,
D'Agostino... Manuel's report of what Gustavo played at the milonga he
DJd is significant. I knew without having Manuel say it what kind of
music Gustavo would have played. He has been at this too long for it to
be different. For Gustavo there is no style A and style B, except to
say that there is a way you dance at a milonga, and a way you dance a
performance.
Only outside of Buenos Aires are people thinking that they are creating
a whole new tango. In Buenos Aires there is a strong tradition that is
very much alive. There are orchestras in Buenos Aires who are playing
very good dance music, and tango is alive. New things are happening
there informed by the history of tango. How can it be otherwise when
there are people there like Julio Balmaceda, whose father Miguel was a
milonguero and a teacher who strongly influenced a whole generation of
dancers?
I think we should pay attention to how things are done in Buenos Aires,
and if we are confused we should ask the master teachers about this.
When they are showing things that take a lot of space, ask them about
what you might be able to do when you are dancing on a crowded dance
floor. When they are using only the music of Pugliese maybe you could
ask how they would use the steps to other orchestras. I think they are
providing what they think the market wants. I think they would be
delighted to deal with these other things if only people would ask. You
should hear the kind of things they say about how people dance in this
country. When they sit around a table watching the dance floor at a big
festival they aren't always talking about the weather. Not only do we
not generally know about tango in Argentina, we don't seem to be
generally interested in knowing, and they do have feelings about this.
Let me give an analogy. Would you take someone seriously if they
claimed they knew a lot about blues music but weren't familiar with
Muddy Waters or John Lee Hooker? Tango is something we do for fun
(hopefully). To that end whatever you choose to do is fine, have fun!
However, there are a lot of people out there who are claiming to be
evolving tango, and justifying all kinds of things because, they say,
tango has to evolve. I wonder how long they have spent really knowing
tango, to be so qualified to be driving the evolution. The young people
in Buenos Aires who are evolving tango know where tango has been. To
continue my earlier analogy, you could say that Jimi Hendrix evolved the
blues and you would be right in a sense. If you get to know the music
of Muddy Waters and John Lee Hooker, and other old blues men you will
see thet there is a direct line between what Hendrix did and that older
generation. That evolution stuck, and the evidence is in the listening.
So again I will say it. Dance as much as you can, try all those steps
you have learned, dance them to death until you don't have to think
about what you are doing. After awhile the steps will be yours and they
won't look like anyone but you. They will be your tools to interpret
the music, and you will interpret any music you dance to. Dance your
miles and years. Your tango will become a deep and rich artistic
language that will be your expression of your feelings. Dance until
these questions are meaningless.
Happy years of tango to all,
Robert]
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, October 01, 2003 4:21 PM
To: TANGO-L@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
Subject: Re: [TANGO-L] Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No
Rules, NO Regulations
> Although I was
> prepared to discuss the "style differences" that
> were being performed, there were
> very few dancers who considered that any discussion
> or analysis was relevant
> to the success of their individual tango
> encounters.
I agree with this. And I can tell you that when I'm
sitting out talking with the girls, we are not
discussing whether a guy has a nice salon or apilado
style we talk about how he feels, how he's sensitive,
how he can make the whole room disappear when we are
in his arms ;-)
Style doesn't matter, how you make your partner feel
does.
Rose
Portland,OR
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 09:54:06 -0700
From: Trini or Sean - PATangoS <patangos@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
--- astrid wrote:
The actual concept a tanguero has about his dancing,
is IMO very closely related to the concept he has
about himself, about women, and about life in general.
And the latter concept has a direct influence on the
style he chooses to dance in tango, and most certainly
on the way the woman experoences him in the dance. We
have a saying:"You dance for three minutes with a man,
and you know all about him." And this is no error in
female thinking.
Ezequiel Farfaro once told me:"I dance tango because I
like women." An honest statement, and an attitude that
makes him wonderful to dance with.
Other men, who in life would tend to use women as
props for their show, will tend to do the same in
tango, and use them as practise dummies.
Bravo Astrid! Very Well Said.
BTW, some women also "use [men] as props for their
show". There is a woman in Pittsburgh who is always
very angry that I won't allow her to use me in this
way. She considers herself one of the best dancers. I
wouldn't know - I've never experienced her dance, only
her performances.
Sean
=====
PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
https://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 10:58:39 -0700
From: Rick FromPortland <pruneshrub04@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Sean writes:
>BTW, some women also "use [men] as props for their
>show". There is a woman in Pittsburgh who is always
>very angry that I won't allow her to use me in this
>way. She considers herself one of the best dancers. I
>wouldn't know - I've never experienced her dance, only
>her performances.
I've experienced this phenomenon in both West Coast Swing & Tango. The person
I was "dancing" with, wasn't dancing with me at all. Perhaps I could have been
replaced by the Tango Robot or something. It quite obvious to anyone looking
what they're doing. Not sure if they are feeding off the attention of others, due
to some void inside or what. Kinda like making love to someone, who is thinking
of somebody else, blah...
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 11:21:17 -0700
From: Marisa Holmes <mariholmes@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
--- Ecsedy_Aron <aron.ecsedy@OM.HU> wrote:
> This is a general error women usually make (not just
> in tango, in life as well):
I guess I must have missed something. Who asked you
to characterize a way of thinking, which you attribute
groundlessly to an entire sex, as wrong?
Unless Ecsedy is a woman's name, you don't know what
women talk about in the absence of men, you don't know
how they feel about dancing, and you don't have a clue
what proportion of us think or feel in any given way.
(Hint: we are not all the same, buddy, and we are not
all telling you everything.) In addition, if you
really believe that men think one way and women think
another, you might want to consider that one half of
the world is not necessarily wrong, just because you
are part of the other half.
Reminds me of a guy I use to never dance with, who
said, "I really love women, I just wish they weren't
so much like women."
Marisa
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 09:15:22 +0200
From: Ecsedy Áron <aron.ecsedy@OM.HU>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Dear Marisa,
> > This is a general error women usually make (not just
> > in tango, in life as well):
>
> I guess I must have missed something. Who asked you
> to characterize a way of thinking, which you attribute
> groundlessly to an entire sex, as wrong?
Who asked you to take it on yourself?
Unless I have a bad concept of the English term "usually", I did not extend my generalization to all female individuals.
My experience is - what you've just proved again - that women in general have a _tendency_ to watch everything that has strong emotional content =
only from their own perspective.
Such as you did.
You did not even consider WHAT (the content of it...) I wanted to say. You picked this one sentence and started complaining about my approach. =
I was making a rational, experience based remark, while you were immediately reacted with a full-swing emotional response.
(Also - not just to tease you again -, the "mistery talk" is a bloody well-known general thing that is much more characteristic of females =
than males. Most women (I'd say all, at least I never met a single one who were saying the opposite) HATE if they are analysed or generalized =
in some way (no matter how true is my observation) by a male, or if a male gives the idea that he knows her better than SHE wants him to)
BTW: this is off-topic and probably also definable as a "flame" - I suggest that next time you write these to me in private.
> Unless Ecsedy is a woman's name, you don't know what
Aron isn't - Ecsedy could be, as it is my family name. For your information: Hungarian naming convention goes opposite to most others =
(last name then first name).
> women talk about in the absence of men, you don't know
> how they feel about dancing, and you don't have a clue
> what proportion of us think or feel in any given way.
How do you know what I know, if you already stated that I cannot and should not know what you know?
> (Hint: we are not all the same, buddy, and we are not
> all telling you everything.) In addition, if you
I am not your buddy, Missy. How do you know how old am I? What experiences I had? How many women I know? If I would be a =
relationship/marriage counselor what would you say? That you know better anyway?
> really believe that men think one way and women think
> another, you might want to consider that one half of
> the world is not necessarily wrong, just because you
> are part of the other half.
Not really. It is you, who presumed that I am a male (which is true) and that I said this because of my male arrogance. Wrong: I said this =
because there are some major differences in thinking and the handling of emotions between the sexes, and I tried to give the external view on the =
lady's comment and her observation.
> Reminds me of a guy I use to never dance with, who
> said, "I really love women, I just wish they weren't
> so much like women."
You remind me of a girl I knew who thought that she is the sweetest and most adorable creature around, and no-one (that includes women too) =
dared to tell her that she is a manipulative, hysterical little brat. She always expected others to accept her as she is. They did...
I love women as they are. However, when they get too emotional in a rational matter (such as discussion on a forum or work), I tend to offer =
them my "male" perspective. The usual problem is, when - sometimes - I get the very reaction you've just produced.
It is not just me who believes that the discrepancy (you are proud to be a women, but you cannot accept it when faced by the non-rational part of =
yourself) is due to the fact that women watch themselves through the mixed (or more "male") values in which you cannot do 100%. Well here is =
the answer: YOU DON'T HAVE TO. IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS.
I love those women the most who don't tend to be like men, and who don't feel offended by the fact that they are different (which doesn't mean =
that they are any less). There are things (which are more important in defining the "quality" of the way you live your life) where women are =
much better (such as handling emotional matters).
I am no expert on this, but I did study psychology at university, I am a teacher (dancing - tango as well) and due to the fact that my mother (as =
a gender studies professor) was alway knee-deep in appropriate literature I also read a lot of scientific studies on the subject, that =
shaped my views.
I don't mean with this, that I cannot be wrong, though.
Aron ECSEDY
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 10:50:31 -0400
From: A Coleman <gurps_npc@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
I agree with astrid completely.
Also, I think that both my style and me "feel" reflect my attitude towards
women in real life.
Women do tend to try and go with the feel of a man in non-tango life as well
as tango, and end up making the same mistakes.
I have noticed, however, that women often are much smarter about picking
tango dancers than they are at picking men in real life. Probably because
they can dance with many men in one night.
For example, some tall women that refuse to date short men will agree to
dance with them. Often they are surprised that the men are such good
dancers, doing a better job leading and dancing with them then men of
similar height. It is a pity they have not learned to expand their dating
choices as well - they would be as equally surprised.
Of course, this works both ways. Men will ask a plain, over-weight women to
dance that they would not date and occasionally be surprised at how good she
is.
Frustrated with dial-up? Get high-speed for as low as $29.95/month
(depending on the local service providers in your area).
Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2003 00:57:03 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: smarter at tango- was:Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
A. Coleman wrote:
>
> I have noticed, however, that women often are much smarter about picking
> tango dancers than they are at picking men in real life. Probably
because
> they can dance with many men in one night.
I once told a close friend from Argentina: "You know, what I love about
tango lyrics, is that they are made of naked emotion."
The dance is similar. Remember the saying I mentioned, "You dance with a man
for three minutes, and you know all about him". The reason is, that in
dancing tango with a man, the woman can very quickly and directly pick up
clues about his artistic, creative, emotional, physical and sexual
behaviour, that would not give him away so quickly during any other kind of
first meeting, and maybe not even after knowing him for months.
It is not, because we get to dance with several men during one evening (I am
not going to repeat the above pun), the real reason is, when a woman dances
tango with a man, he cannot hide, and he cannot pretend to be better than he
is.
Now, I am not going to join Aron in his groove of "women are like this and
men are like that", so I am not going claim to know for sure, that this must
be because of women's famous intuition. I could imagine, that for men, it
may be the same.
What do you say, guys?
Astrid, wondering
P.S.
Having said that, I might add, that there are men I "pick" and gladly dance
with, and love, respect and adore as tango partners, while I know, I would
not be able to hold an interesting conversation with them sitting down for
even five minutes. Being a good match physically in tango says nothing about
at all about whether you are matched mentally or intellectually. So, in that
sense, it is easier to find a suitable partner in tango (and not just one,
but several different ones) than in real life. And one thing that
contributes to us getting so carried away in tango...
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 18:04:31 +0100
From: Bruce Stephens <bruce@CENDERIS.DEMON.CO.UK>
Subject: Re: smarter at tango- was:Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP> writes:
[...]
> It is not, because we get to dance with several men during one
> evening (I am not going to repeat the above pun), the real reason
> is, when a woman dances tango with a man, he cannot hide, and he
> cannot pretend to be better than he is.
Probably there's some truth in that. It's certainly sometimes what
tango feels like---it's one of the things that's challenging when
you're a beginner, in a way that's not so apparent with other dances.
I suspect that's one of the reasons that close embrace seems to be
more popular amongst beginning women than beginning men (although
doubtless that varies a lot depending on local customs and teachers):
close embrace (if it's to work at all) requires a certain intimacy and
vulnerability, whereas open embrace dancing can just be dancing
patterns (an emotionally safe thing to do).
> Now, I am not going to join Aron in his groove of "women are like
> this and men are like that", so I am not going claim to know for
> sure, that this must be because of women's famous intuition. I could
> imagine, that for men, it may be the same. What do you say, guys?
Sometimes, and those are some of the best dances, of course. But
there's asymmetry in the dance, and women can, if they wish, "just
follow". Men can also just lead stuff of course, without putting
anything into it (I know I've been guilty of that, on occasion), but
that's probably much more obvious and disturbing than a woman simply
following what she's led.
[...]
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 13:43:16 -0400
From: Lois Donnay <donnay@DONNAY.NET>
Subject: Re: smarter at tango- was:Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
I prefer close embrace with beginners. It's less likely that he will
arm-lead, push me off balance, or watch my legs instead of me during
the dance. It's also more likely that he and I will be able to develop
a good connection.
Lois Donnay
Minneapolis
> I suspect that's one of the reasons that close embrace seems to be
> more popular amongst beginning women than beginning men (although
> doubtless that varies a lot depending on local customs and teachers):
> close embrace (if it's to work at all) requires a certain intimacy
and
> vulnerability, whereas open embrace dancing can just be dancing
> patterns (an emotionally safe thing to do).
>
> > Now, I am not going to join Aron in his groove of "women are like
> > this and men are like that", so I am not going claim to know for
> > sure, that this must be because of women's famous intuition. I
could
> > imagine, that for men, it may be the same. What do you say, guys?
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 09:14:05 -0700
From: Carlos Rojas <crojas@HACIENDACDC.ORG>
Subject: Re: smarter at tango- was:Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations
Astrid,
I can't speak for other men, but for me (and a few men in Portland that
have told me) is the same as you describe for your self.
I think because of the dynamics of the dance, we can not hide who we
are. We can wear nice cloths, drive nice cars, the tongue can say
whatever; but the feeling from our hearts, can not be faked and can not
be hidden.
>From my personal experience, I think that a must requirement for any
tango dancer (male or female) is humility, without I don't think that we
can advance.
I hope to see all of you at TangoFest, we Portlanders are very excited.
Regards,
Carlos Rojas
Portland, OR
-----Original Message-----
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 15:01:17 -0700
From: Rick FromPortland <pruneshrub04@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Tango No Name/no style/Just Generic Tango/No Rules, NO Regulations (long)
fwiw...(from Original Self by Thomas Moore)
Gender is infinitely more sublte than biological difference & is never static...
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Generally our thinking moves directly from anatomical difference to psychological differentiation & we assume that there are 2 genders, just as there are 2 biological sexes. But a human being is never reducible to biology. To make that reduction is to enter the fallacy of physicallism--the idea that a human being can be defined & then treated as a material body. This fallacy overlooks a world of emotion, memory, fantasy, & meaning, all of which more directly define a human being than the body pictured on a drs. skeleton chart of bone & organs.
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Gender is a state of mind, a product of imagination. One man experiences masculinity in a way entirely different than another. The femininity of a particular woman is unique, an aspect of her personality or, even deeper, a manifestation of her soul. . Gender is archetypal & the liberation of women & feminine spirit could save our society from self-destructive violence.
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The variations of gender are infinite, & so it is absurd to reduce gender to 2 categories & insist that everyone fit into 1 or the other. Besides, all dualisms dooms us to division & conflict. They are simplistic descriptions of experience & tend toward easy literalism. Paradoxically, to become less certain about one's own gender may be the turning point at which one beings to discover the richness of one's M or F...
