456  There is no tango without men

Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 00:53:41 -0500
From: elizabeth telson <telsone@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject: There is no tango without men

Preston,

I read your note with great interest. I happen to be
one of those "older" women you speak of. I have not
been able to ascertain the true nature of the tango
community in my area (Washington, D.C.) because the
community itself is comprised of three areas:
Maryland, Washington, D.C., and Northern Virginia. In
other words, some Tangueroes "travel" around the area
to the various tango events and some do not.

Yes, from my observations, the A.Tango community in my
area appears to be mostly "older" adults.

You wrote: So, why aren't older men interested in
tango? First, unlike younger guys many of them feel
that any kind of dancing is a threat to their
masculinity.

I find that comment difficult to believe. How do you
explain the men, older and young, of Hispanic and
African heritage and other cultures who love to dance?
I feel confident in stating I don't think they perceive
dancing as a threat to their masculinity.

I ventured out to a club where salsa was played a
couple of weekends ago. I met a young Hispanic
gentleman (late 20s, early 30s) who wasted no time in
asking me to dance.

While chatting during rests between dancing, we
discussed dancing, and I explained I am also learning
A.Tango. I asked him would he like to learn A.Tango.
He simply stated he didn't like the music. My
suspicion is this is probably more likely the case with
most -- They simply don't like the music!!

You wrote: Second, as they get older, many men decide
that it is so much easier for them to satisfy that need
for female company we all have with escorts and
prostitutes.

May I enquire as to what "need" you are speaking of?
Please understand, I am not being cheeky with my
inquiry. The gentlemen I have met (20-somethings
through the older men) have not been hesitant in
expressing their needs nor desires, and all of them
stated they are seeking long-term commitment and
companionship.

Perhaps the tango community remains small because of
the very simple statement expressed to me which I
related earlier -- They simply don't like the music!!

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 19:05:35 -0000
From: Preston <qwer@REWQ.FSNET.CO.UK>
Subject: Re: There is no tango without men

Elizabeth writes in her reply:

>I find that comment difficult to believe. How do you
>explain the men, older and young, of Hispanic and
>African heritage and other cultures who love to dance?
>I feel confident in stating I don't think they perceive
>dancing as a threat to their masculinity.

My perspective is North European. In the countries where I have lived so far the general male attitude still often seems to be that "Tough guys =
don't dance". I think that some of these attitudes are nicely presented in a British film called Billy Elliot, which is about a boy who dances =
ballet. I suppose ballet must be the "worst" case. Young guys I have spoken to often seem to hold the view that yes, ballet would be bad, but =
partner dances like salsa are OK because presumably then you like women.
In the places where I have lived so far there have been very few people of Hispanic or African origin, so I'm not familiar with their culture, =
but I can imagine that they may have very different attitudes. My salsa teacher, who happens to be Hispanic, remarked recently that men have to =
look feminine in order to be good dancers. Do you think that this also applies to Tango? He said that people always think that he is a gay =
because of the way he moves.

>May I enquire as to what "need" you are speaking of?
>Please understand, I am not being cheeky with my
>inquiry. The gentlemen I have met (20-somethings
>through the older men) have not been hesitant in
>expressing their needs nor desires, and all of them
>stated they are seeking long-term commitment and
>companionship.

I'm also looking for a long-term relationship. The way I see it, and I can't yet speak from personal experience, this becomes progressively =
more difficult as men get older: Fat percentage tends to increase, while muscle mass and hair count decrease. However, at the same time their =
salary and wealth usually increase. Surely then there has to come a point when it becomes all too tempting to give up the gym, low-calorie =
diet, dancing, and whatever else they may have been doing, and start using their new financial muscle to satisfy their need for female =
companionship?
One of my premises here is that men who are interested in movement are far more likely to choose something more athletic, for example martial =
arts or even a game like tennis, than dancing. I believe that for a lot of men who dance tango or salsa the primary motivator is that it's an =
opportunity to meet women. If these men either find a long-term partner, or find a better way (including financial) to meet women, then they are =
unlikely to continue dancing. By contrast it seems like almost all women who dance regularly are primarily interested in the act of dancing =
itself.

>Perhaps the tango community remains small because of
>the very simple statement expressed to me which I
>related earlier -- They simply don't like the music!!

I'm sure this applies to some men. In my own case it happens to be the opposite. I love tango music, whereas I find salsa a bit chaotic and =
noisy. However, since my primary goal is to meet women, and it seems to me that dancing salsa offers better opportunities to meet women of my =
own age, I'm planning to concentrate on that despite the fact that I don't like the music.

Finally, earlier comments from Astrid made me feel curious. Astrid writes:

>And many women are ready
>to pay an arm and a leg for this kind of pleasure, to have a good dancer all
>to themselves for one song after another. I know of one woman, who took 25
>private lessons with Oscar Mandagaran in three weeks, at a hundred dollars a piece.

Does anyone know if there are or have ever been people, male or female, who earn their living as tango dance partners? I believe that this has =
happened with ballroom dancing; Somebody is either employed by the organizers to dance with people, or is paid directly by those people who =
dance with him/her. I am not suggesting this as a solution to any male/female imbalance, I'm just curious!