1283  'Violations' and cultural differences

Date: Tue, 13 May 2003 14:01:28 -0400
From: Sergio <cachafaz@ADELPHIA.NET>
Subject: 'Violations' and cultural differences

Lois says (in reference to 'violations' off the dance floor) "Should

> we be educating new dancers of the potential for such things
> and coach them on how to extract themselves? (I suspect most
> instructors do this to some degree.) What do they do in
> Argentina when such things occur?"

What do they do in Argentina? The milonga in Argentina ends up being like a
club where most people know each other.

The tango rituals where created to simplify, and prevent problems in social
interaction at the milongas.

When it comes to social interaction of the sexes, the Argentinean woman
adopts a more passive role than its foreign counterpart but she expresses to
the man (with her demeanor, her attitude, her staring or not, her smiling or
not) quite clearly if she has interest or not in him. The man knows how to
read her code and respects it. He understands that she wants nothing to do
with him or else that she expects him to come after her. He has then a more
active role, he is supposed to come after her. She plays hard to get for
some time while making clear to him that she is interested.

The world of the milonga is kept apart from the personal world.

Men at the milongas respect women and at the same time protect them from any
other males that overstep their boundaries.

Some milongueros are the likes of boot-ball players, fighters, musicians,
actors, dancers that grew up in the streets of Brooklyn, Bronx or Harlem.
Foreign tango organizers come to Buenos Aires looking for "cheap" tango
instructors. They go to the milongas see somebody dancing well and after a
brief conversation hire them to go abroad to teach tango.

Once in a foreign country the cultural differences are very misleading to
him. The woman is very friendly, stares, smiles, she is eager to dance with
him, etc. His mental code tells him "she wants me-come after me" he is
supposed to be assertive, active, macho...so there he goes to discover that
he bounces (rebota) (the lady not only rejects his advances but she looks
and acts offended), boy is he confused! Suddenly the happy ride ends, nobody
likes him anymore, his tango instructor career finished before started. His
misunderstanding is worsened due to other factors as well, I will only
mention two.
He has to act in an unknown social environment that frequently is higher
than his own.
He has the misconception, being this his first trip abroad that foreign
women are very easy and will go crazy as soon as they see him dancing.

I think that it would be useful to warn him about certain cultural
differences.
I would use a series of advises such as " it does not matter what the
circumstances are do not take any initiative, let the woman make the first
move".

I hope that this helps to understand a little better some of the problems
that we have been discussing for the last few days.
The above is only my opinion, I am sure that other people may have a
totally different one or may be able to add other elements to the ones above
described.

My advise for today " it does not matter what circumstances, always have fun
while dancing tango".:))

Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2006 17:06:42 +0000
From: "Sergio Vandekier" <sergiovandekier990@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Tango-L] Cultural differences
To: tango-l@mit.edu

It is true there are many cultural differences between the Anglo-Saxon
culture and the Latin Cultures.

One of those differences is the subjects that one can freely talk about.

The Argentines, the Spaniards, the Italians and French for instance, can
talk about bodily functions in general as if they were any interesting
subject.

People are not afraid to talk about bowel function or some other subjects
including sexual ones.

Somebody that comes for a party and gained weight -may be received with :
"What happened to you? that gained so much weight" or somebody with a
facial skin rash may be asked what is wrong with your skin? all perfectly
acceptable questions that could be considered bad manners in the USA.

When you take a present for an invitation to dinner, etc, in the States is
common to bring some wine, in Argentina this is seldom done because wine is
not expensive. So people will bring flowers, or Swiss pastries, or bon-bons.
to give just a few examples.

I am certain that Alberto had a totally innocent intention when he sent that
note.

He is a mature, married man, and has always behaved as such.

You would not believe the subjects that people discuss in Argentine tango
lists.

Best regards, Sergio