709 Weenies of tango
Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 18:41:50 -0400
From: Manuel Patino <white95r@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Weenies of tango
I'm a little confused about all these topics and threads. Unfortunately, I
delete messages frequently (have to keep the volume of messages down in my
hotmail account) I would like to ask somebody to please tell me just who
these weenies are, where the are and just what is their fatal flaw? I'm
afraid I've got a lot of folks confused and I cannot tell who said what.
Another question would be if there is a female equivalent of the tango
weenie. What would her characteristics be? I guess by now some folks might
be as confused as I am. It would seem that the ideal man of tango is
somewhat of an amalgamation of John Wayne and Lancelot with a dash of
Cyrano de Bergerac (sp?). I don't think the ideal tango woman has been
described yet. I'm curious to see what she would be like.
Also, what about describing the worst tango men? And the women? What would
their major defects be? I'm not sure the "weenie" label would be used for a
truly "malevo" personality. The tango world of the turn of the century in Bs
As was populated by a diverse bunch of men. many of them are described in
literature and tango lyrics as rather mean and violent men with a penchant
for controlling women and actually killing them for real or imagined
transgressions. The women in the tango lyrics are likewise often described
as capricious, gold digging and unfaithful. Are these the "real" men and
women of tango?
I also think that there must be some kind of middle ground where just
regular folks with all their foibles and failings can fit in. About about
just regular tango men? Is there a place in tango for a regular guy? What
should an average tanguero or tanguera be like? I'm doubtful that most
women would actually search and long for an idealized perfect "tango knight
in shining armor". I think that those are rather rare and probably hook up
with the ideal tango women (whatever those are) out there. IMHO the best
folks to associate with and the best to have around are down to earth,
regular folks this works in tango or anything else.
Manuel
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2002 10:55:19 -0400
From: Georgia Littleton <glit10go@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Weenies of tango
>From: Manuel Patino <white95r@HOTMAIL.COM>
>Subject: [TANGO-L] Weenies of tango
>Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 18:41:50 -0400
>
>I'm a little confused about all these topics and threads.
Manuel,
I enjoyed your response. I share your confusion. Or rather, less
disingenuously, I think some of the objections raised on the weenie issue
are themselves confused.
I think there is a view of gender relations that has gained a certain degree
of political correctness. To appear to be an enlightened male requires a
man to degrade himself. A sensitive male is one who recognizes himself as
the problem.
I don't admire sycophantic males. I found the essay from Modern Muse
disgusting. A Real Weenie is a perpetual apologist. Above all, a person
needs to be self-respecting. From a strong center, a person can then
project himself or herself into the world in a dignified manner worthy of
that esteem.
I think milongas, like any social setting, are sometimes the scenes of some
bad behavior. Tango has inherited certain codes of ettiquette that attempt
to assist people in achieving mutually pleasant interaction. Maybe some of
those codes work. Others might be fun simply because they are quaint.
Still others might be moribund.
People can debate the ettiquette. Ultimately, they define ettiquette
themselves when they make choices in their interactions. Ettiquette is
defined on a one-to-one basis. I indulged some bad behavior at a milonga
this weekend and I quickly regretted it. It says something bad about me and
creates a standard of etiquette whereby I allow myself to be treated that
way.
If I want to change things, I don't hold out any hope of accomplishing it by
railing about it in a public forum. The time when I could have changed
something has now passed. The occasion to make a point about ettiquette is
to a person's face. It's every person's own individual responsibility not
to sanction inappropriate treatment of themselves.
That's what Georgia says.
