2419  Women saying no, lame excuses, suicide and tango.

Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 20:57:42 +0000
From: Sergio Vandekier <sergiovandekier990@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Women saying no, lame excuses, suicide and tango.

We dance tango for different reasons. Most of us agree that for this
activity to be worth it has to enclose certain elements: There is
concentration in the music and in each other, there is a physical
conversation with your partner and with the other dancers, there is a
communication with your partner that is intense, loving and at times
sublime. This to mention only a few characteristics of this dance.

You cannot achieve any of those elements unless you wish, you desire, you
crave to dance with a certain person.

When you impose yourself, forcing another person to dance with you, you will
be creating a failed tango, something that will be short of expectation for
both of you as the other person may not wish to establish those necessary
binds with you. You will notice that that person is there in body but that
his-her mind is far away. A terrible frustrating sensation.

In summary when we ask somebody to dance, in any way that is done in your
community one (IMO) should respect the desires of the other person allowing
for an easy and dignify rejection of some sort.

Body language in this respect is very clear. Look at the person you wish to
dance with, if you get a positive stare back then go an pick her-him up, but
if you are ignored or invisible to the other person be respectful of her-his
wishes and stay away! Do not feel bad when you are rejected, this is part
of this particular occupation.:) Everybody is there to have fun, not to do
charity work!.

When and if you decide to dance with a person towards whom you have
ambivalent feelings for, make a conscious effort to imagine that you love
that person for the duration of that tango: you may discover some gratifying
feelings of tenderness that were lying in a corner of your spirit, somewhat
forgotten.

The average suicide rate for the whole world is about 14.5 per 100.000
population. Finland may not be far from this average, although its
inhabitants have a tendency to get depressed.
Once I read that some centers in that Scandinavian country use Argentine
Tango as therapy for depression with great success.

It is interesting to notice that the suicide rate for men is three times
higher than for females.
The highest suicide rate in the world is in young women (15-19) in Southern
India (Tamil Nadu) with 148 per 100.000 and in Native Indians of Ontario
Canada 178-470 per 100.000 population.

Perhaps we should bring Tango to those people as long as we allow them to
choose their partners.

May you all be able to dance with whom you wish.