2386  Zoning and so on

Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 22:26:49 -0700
From: H Dickinson <hyladlmp@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Zoning and so on

It seemed clear to me that Jackie was saying that the
leads she prefers to dance with, are ones who are
connected to her and listening to the music and
helping her to feel safe. I think that the majority
of women on this list would include some or all of
those items on any list of qualities they appreciate
in their favorite leaders.

I have had wonderful dances doing lots of figures and
complex or difficult things, pushing the edge of what
I am capable of as a follower. But I have only had
these dances with very accomplished leaders who do not
push me to do what I can't, and especially don't try
to do what they are not good at yet.

I have had wonderful, marvelous dances doing simple
walking to the music. I have had these kinds of
dances with beginners, intermediate level dancers, and
most divinely, with very accomplished dancers.

The common factor in both kinds of dances, was that
the lead was really paying atttention, to me, to the
music, to the embrace, to our safety and that of those
around us, to the feeling between us at that moment on
that day. This has sometimes meant a very "non-zone"
dance that is all about playfulness and giggling, for
instance, as well as those intense or dreamy "zones".

The leads who can do complex figures during a milonga
and keep me feeling like I had a very enjoyable dance,
have almost all been dancing a long long time, and
they ALL practice a lot, dance a lot, take classes
etc. a lot, take good care of their follower and also
can and do lead simple non-complex dances. Most leads
don't have the time/money/patience for all that
practice, and for this reason many many times you will
see on this list that followers plead for leaders to
work on the basics, to let go of the need for figures,
to really put feeling and connection and caring for
your partner first, before figures. It is downright
painful to follow lots of figures badly executed. It
can be very enjoyable to follow a simple dance by a
beginner which is led with heart.

(Just to excuse myself from being called "conceded",
may i say, that although I love and adore this dance
and love to write about why I love it so, I am
certainly not the very best dancer in my community,
and know this. I do not teach or perform. There are
many leads who I would truly love to dance with, who
have never asked me to dance, or only asked me once,
or only ask me a tiny fraction of the time that I see
them in the milongas, or who don't even remember me
from that festival two months ago when we had what I
thought was a truly heavenly dance. And I would
venture to suggest that many other women, and men, on
this list, could share those qualifications. Part of
the allure of this dance is that eternal hope that
reality might, someday, just live up to the hopes and
dreams of our egos....)

Hyla