4410 Cabeceo, again
Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2006 16:37:47 -0400
From: "TangoDC.com" <spatz@tangoDC.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
To: tango-L@mit.edu
Chris,
Yes, yes, yes-- I've said that the cabeceo is body language too. But as
Astrid points out, different cultures have different conventions
(compare cartoon expressions in US and Japanese comic books, if you want
another starkly obvious example), and it's worthwhile to point these
things out. In many American cities, especially DC, we've got cultural
stew already, and so a "follow me" nod of the head Does need to be
explained. Certain gestures, or "tones" of gesture, are even vulgar or
else polite within the frame of a single culture. These cultures aren't
imaginary: they're present in the people in my classes and at milongas.
In consequence, the cabeceo is not as stone-age simple as you'd like
everyone to believe. The *action* of the cabeceo is perhaps natural; its
*meaning*, however, is a construct, which (like every word in every
language on earth) is influenced by CONTEXT.
This is elementary semiotics. Perhaps the drawer in your mind labeled
"Obvious, The" has room for it.
As a teacher, and a man with a brain, I make it my business to increase
knowledge and promote creativity. I can teach young dancers the "cabeceo
game" in DC in five minutes, and it might take two years to spread to
Los Angeles-- precisely because the environment here in the US does not
make it necessary or even effective.
Furthermore, using gestures when speech is the available option implies
something in itself. The nod, done with the wrong tone, or in the wrong
context, or to someone who isn't In on the custom, could imply "Let's go
outside" or "I've got good drugs" or "Whatever you charge for an hour, I
can afford it." Have you no imagination? Has your world no ambiguity?
Again, let me add that the generation gap multiplies uncertainties
again, even within one culture. Take two strangers. An older man nods at
a young girl: neither is perfectly certain of the meaning of this
message. They both hope it's the cabeceo. But let's not be myopic. As
dancers, we also represent the tango to an unfamiliar public, and the
tango has a certain reputation. To an outside observer just stopping to
watch (we have these mysterious beings in DC), this gesture between the
older man and the girl could mean any number of horrible things, many of
which are legal in Amsterdam. We might do well to think less egocentrically.
My teaching, for its part, hasn't met with any actual resistance yet,
but thanks for the implied tip on what to do when I encounter a bona
fide idiot.
And thanks for your helpful contribution. You're really carrying this
discussion forward, and raising new topics of value for people to think
about.
Jake Spatz
Washington, DC
Chris, UK wrote:
Dani writes:
> People talk about "learning it"...?????! Learning WHAT?!... learning
> to do what we all do naturally and amthropologically every day of our
> lives?
>
Yup. Sad, or what?
Rather like evening classes in making love. Where the only required
qualification for successful teaching is the ability to persuade others
that they need the lessons.
You'd think that need too would have died out by natural selection,
wouldn't you? ;)
Yet spatz@tangoDC.com writs:
> Even if all us teachers did our best to teach the cabaceo, it would
> still be two years or so before you'd see the impact on the social
> scene. I'll do my part as often as I can.
>
If the social scene is so resistant to what all you teachers are trying
their best to feed it, surely that indicates something about the
appropriateness of how you are teaching and what you are teaching.
Please do not tell me this isn't stark staringly obvious.
Chris
-------- Original Message
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 01:37 +0100 (BST)
From: "Chris, UK" <tl2@chrisjj.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Cc: tl2@chrisjj.com
spatz@tangoDC.com wrote
> I can teach young dancers the "cabeceo game" in DC in five minutes,
> and it might take two years to spread to Los Angeles-- precisely
> because the environment here in the US does not make it necessary
> or even effective.
You're saying in that social environment, it is neither necessary nor
effective?
Then notwithstanding that much tango education is founded on the very
principle of teaching stuff that is neither necessary or effective, I'd be
interested to hear why you think anyone there needs to learn it.
> The *action* of the cabeceo is perhaps natural;
> its *meaning* however, is a construct
Only to those who don't get it. In its various forms in different cultures,
it's meaning is natural to just about every guy and girl on the planet.
"How about it?"
Chris
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 12:38:07 +0900
From: "astrid" <astrid@ruby.plala.or.jp>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
> > The *action* of the cabeceo is perhaps natural;
> > its *meaning* however, is a construct
>
> Only to those who don't get it. In its various forms in different
cultures,
> it's meaning is natural to just about every guy and girl on the planet.
>
> "How about it?"
>
Well, Chris, I did not know that everyone on the planet is ready to then get
up and meet their prospect at the edge of the dance floor. Just like Jake
said, it could mean:"Let's go outside." "Have you got drugs?" or..."How
about a quickie in the loo?"
Dani from La dolce vita wrote:
However, it is scientific anthropological FACT that the inherent method of
INTRA-SPECIES (regardless of culture - which is responsible for leading to
environment-conditioned traits) non-verbal communication is the raising of
the eyebrows often with an ever-so-slight (or more) tiliting/nodding of the
head in the direction of the target
Now, Dani, you don't seem to not have read any of those numerous books on
variations of mimics and gestures from country to country.
For exemple, when I read your description- raising of the eyebrows often
with an ever-so-slight (or more) tiliting/nodding of the head in the
direction of the target- I thought, huh? Raising of the eyebrows? Whoever
raises their eyebrows when they look at someone they like? I have only seen
that with Latinos. You are Italian, right? In Germany, eyebrows are raised
and chins are lowered in reproof, as in "We are amazed at your behaviour"
(there is no smile)
Having spent some time in Spain and among Argentines, I once met my
(youngish) boss in the subway station, and spontaneously raised my eyebrows
and moved my head slighlty backward with a slight grin- he looked shocked. I
don't know what he understood, from that gesture.
Oscar, for instance, taught us that the cabeceo is done by giving someone a
sexy grin and tilting the head slightly to the side and then pointing with
the chin towards the dance floor in a slightly rogueish way...
What constitutes a "sexy grin" might be enough to open another bag of
worms...
from traveling
Astrid
Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2006 22:36:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Trini y Sean \(PATangoS\)" <patangos@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Sean here.
It is not rocket science, it is social science; and that is
a far more complex and difficult field of study. I wonder
if the social scientists who have recently enlightened us
about universal primate behaviors gained their expertise
without the aid of teachers. I am going to go out on the
proverbial limb, and guess that they formed their
conclusions without the aid of teachers, research, or even
meaningful personal experience. Their ability to disregard
contrary evidence stinks a bit like the notion of manifest
destiny.
To answer BK's request that teachers explain the cabeceo, I
say that it won't really matter. Most tango dancers with
more than the most rudimentary experience have heard an
explanation of the cabeceo. They simply choose not to use
it. Several good reasons have already been provided, but
the most compelling one that I have heard is that it is
primarily advantageous to the most desirable dance
partners.
Some members of the list will undoubtedly argue endlessly
over the reasons why North Americans don't generally use
the cabeceo. Some will even argue endlessly that everyone
does use it, even gorillas and Europeans. To those few who
have the common sense to accept the evidence of direct
personal experience over the ranting of unteachered
experts, I propose that it is far easier to change your own
habits, than to change the behavior of an entire culture.
Accept that the cabeceo is not likely to catch on here in
the near future.
Here are some practical strategies to try if you are not
getting opportunities to dance because you are shy.
1. Razor Girl has the best advice so far. Smile, relax, and
make yourself approachable. (I didn't say it would be easy,
just easier than impossible.)
2. Don't spend the night sitting in one spot. Get up and
walk across the floor during the cortinas. It is much
easier to smile and nod a greeting at someone as you pass
by. If you don't find a partner, choose a different spot to
sit during the next tanda.
3. I understand how difficult it is for a shy person to
strike up a conversation. Rehearse a few innocuous
questions, rather than try some fancy opening gambit. For
example, after you cross the floor during the cortina,
smile, offer eye contact and ask "May I rest here for a
bit?" to a lady sitting across the room. If she says yes,
be sure to thank her. Maybe that is all you can manage this
time. But try to introduce yourself, and ask her name. If
she responds, address her by name, tell her where you are
from, and ask where she is from. Always try to acknowledge
her response, however brief, add a new very short piece of
information about yourself, and finish with a related
question to her. If you are shy, practice this formula with
friends and family. You will find that questions are your
best friend. (Assuming you actually pay attention to the
answer.)
4. Expect the conversation to die. When it dies, just
relax, listen to the music and watch the dancing until a
song ends. Then get up to leave, smile, and ask "Would you
like to dance?" or "Would you like to finish this tanda?"
or whatever. It gives her the chance to check you out,
without committing to a full tanda of possible misery. And
if she says "no", so what? You were moving on anyway.
5. Don't stick around if she declines to dance. That is a
despicable practice called babysitting.
https://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html
Move on. (See no. 2 above.)
Sean
--- Tango Mail <tango@springssauna.com> wrote:
I try to avoid the dreaded "walk" at any costs (When you
walk to a woman to ask them to dance and they decline, and
you have to walk back; usually you'll see most men plop
down beside that woman to talk to them as making it appear
talking was the reason they went over in the first place,
to save face).
PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
https://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:00:31 +0800
From: Kace <kace@pacific.net.sg>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
The two schools of thoughts on the cabeceo seems to be:
1. It's a universal body language, everyone understands it without
explanation
or
2. It's a milonguero's secret code, someone has to explain the cultural
context.
Coming from Asia, I find it is more of the second explanation.
A newbie needs to be enlightened by someone -- it could be the teacher, a
milonga organiser, or an article in a magazine.
Without an unambiguous explanation, newbies just can't be sure the sender
and receiver have the same message.
Kind of like: do you shake hand, bow, or kiss someone you meet for the first
time? in Japan? in Buenos Aires? once or twice? air kiss or landed?
It's not
obvious until someone spells it you for you.
Kace
tangosingapore.com
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 09:49 +0100 (BST)
From: "Chris, UK" <tl2@chrisjj.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Cc: tl2@chrisjj.com
> https://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html
Twelve "rules" of inviting and accepting.
Good grief. Only in America.
Chris
-------- Original Message --------
*Subject:* Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
*From:* "Trini y Sean \(PATangoS\)" <patangos@yahoo.com>
*Date:* Sat, 24 Jun 2006 22:36:02 -0700 (PDT)
Sean here.
It is not rocket science, it is social science; and that is
a far more complex and difficult field of study. I wonder
if the social scientists who have recently enlightened us
about universal primate behaviors gained their expertise
without the aid of teachers. I am going to go out on the
proverbial limb, and guess that they formed their
conclusions without the aid of teachers, research, or even
meaningful personal experience. Their ability to disregard
contrary evidence stinks a bit like the notion of manifest
destiny.
To answer BK's request that teachers explain the cabeceo, I
say that it won't really matter. Most tango dancers with
more than the most rudimentary experience have heard an
explanation of the cabeceo. They simply choose not to use
it. Several good reasons have already been provided, but
the most compelling one that I have heard is that it is
primarily advantageous to the most desirable dance
partners.
Some members of the list will undoubtedly argue endlessly
over the reasons why North Americans don't generally use
the cabeceo. Some will even argue endlessly that everyone
does use it, even gorillas and Europeans. To those few who
have the common sense to accept the evidence of direct
personal experience over the ranting of unteachered
experts, I propose that it is far easier to change your own
habits, than to change the behavior of an entire culture.
Accept that the cabeceo is not likely to catch on here in
the near future.
Here are some practical strategies to try if you are not
getting opportunities to dance because you are shy.
1. Razor Girl has the best advice so far. Smile, relax, and
make yourself approachable. (I didn't say it would be easy,
just easier than impossible.)
2. Don't spend the night sitting in one spot. Get up and
walk across the floor during the cortinas. It is much
easier to smile and nod a greeting at someone as you pass
by. If you don't find a partner, choose a different spot to
sit during the next tanda.
3. I understand how difficult it is for a shy person to
strike up a conversation. Rehearse a few innocuous
questions, rather than try some fancy opening gambit. For
example, after you cross the floor during the cortina,
smile, offer eye contact and ask "May I rest here for a
bit?" to a lady sitting across the room. If she says yes,
be sure to thank her. Maybe that is all you can manage this
time. But try to introduce yourself, and ask her name. If
she responds, address her by name, tell her where you are
from, and ask where she is from. Always try to acknowledge
her response, however brief, add a new very short piece of
information about yourself, and finish with a related
question to her. If you are shy, practice this formula with
friends and family. You will find that questions are your
best friend. (Assuming you actually pay attention to the
answer.)
4. Expect the conversation to die. When it dies, just
relax, listen to the music and watch the dancing until a
song ends. Then get up to leave, smile, and ask "Would you
like to dance?" or "Would you like to finish this tanda?"
or whatever. It gives her the chance to check you out,
without committing to a full tanda of possible misery. And
if she says "no", so what? You were moving on anyway.
5. Don't stick around if she declines to dance. That is a
despicable practice called babysitting.
https://www.close-embrace.com/invitingetiquette.html
Move on. (See no. 2 above.)
Sean
--- Tango Mail <tango@springssauna.com> wrote:
I try to avoid the dreaded "walk" at any costs (When you
walk to a woman to ask them to dance and they decline, and
you have to walk back; usually you'll see most men plop
down beside that woman to talk to them as making it appear
talking was the reason they went over in the first place,
to save face).
PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
https://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 05:47:03 -0400
From: "TangoDC.com" <spatz@tangoDC.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
To: tango-L@mit.edu
Chris,
Here's your tit-for-tat.
Chris, UK wrote:
> You're saying in that social environment, [the cabeceo] is neither necessary nor effective?
>
> Then notwithstanding that much tango education is founded on the very
> principle of teaching stuff that is neither necessary or effective, I'd be interested to hear why you think anyone there [in the US] needs to learn it.
>
As I said, I promote knowledge and creativity. People learning the tango
can survive learning the cabeceo alongside the various embraces, just as
they can be bothered to hear what the lyrics are about while they're
starting to grasp the idea of dancing to contrapuntal chamber music
(e.g., Di Sarli's "El recodo," most of '50s Pugliese). Neither the
cabeceo nor a knowledge of tango lyrics is absolutely essential to
dancing at the milongas in North America, except perhaps in certain
festivals that make a point of using the cabeceo; but both topics ARE
essential to dancing _without being an ignoramus_. Plus, the tango
attracts intelligent people, and they find this shit interesting. Who am
I-- who is anyone-- to stand in the way of curiosity?
People enjoy learning these things. Whether they use them or not is
contingent upon circumstance.
And is it such useless knowledge anyway? Well, what if some eager
student decides to visit BA after five weeks of dancing? It's happened
before. And what if someone does a performance that plays with the
cabeceo creatively? We're already blind enough to what performers
actually create for us. There IS such a performance, and it'll be
included in the critical essay I'm writing as a follow-up to the
"Prologue" I posted here a few weeks ago.
>> The *action* of the cabeceo is perhaps natural;
>> its *meaning* however, is a construct
>>
> Only to those who don't get it. In its various forms in different cultures, it's meaning is natural to just about every guy and girl on the planet.
>
> "How about it?"
>
> Chris
>
There's already a bunch of arguments here disputing your simplistic one.
Here's another. The fact of the matter is that people new to the tango
find it intimidating enough already, and as teachers we can ease their
social anxieties by deciphering some of the patterned behavior for them,
or by letting them in on the traditions they can understand with minimal
effort. They're already confronted by tons of shit they don't get.
Someone making eyes at them has a good chance of being misinterpreted--
especially if an expert dancer is inviting a beginner. The beginner
needs to be told they're not being tested, or teased, or whatever. They
need to be told that it's a "thing," and that by receiving it they're
being invited not only to dance, but into the fold.
To re-emphasize an earlier point which is extremely important: I've been
to milongas where most dancers were of the same demographic (age, race,
apparent tax bracket, etc.), and I can testify that in my neighborhood,
it ain't like that. We've got people from all over. We've got multiple
languages going on. We've got very young people and very old people, and
everything between. Rich, poor, you name it. We've got a great variety
of styles going on. Most recreational activities are exactly the
opposite; this social dance can really throw people for a loop the first
few times they show up. To welcome a newcomer, whether a starving
college student or a recently divorced executive or a therapist with a
midlife crisis, we've often got to break down some real boundaries, and
help them revise their most basic expectations. Perhaps they're
confused. They're not getting the steps right. Perhaps they're trying to
decide whether they really want to give it a shot. Then some
superior-looking asshole catches their eye from across the room, and
seems to be nodding at the exit, which they're strategically sitting in
front of.
You tell me who doesn't get it.
Jake Spatz
DC
p.s. Sean-- thanks for a nicely written post. While reading it, I had
the notion that things might actually be different here in the US than I
realized before... Perhaps the majority of dancers ARE using the
cabeceo, but the ones who get rejected aren't accepting it, and then
resort to other means. JK of CS appears to think otherwise, with his
reference to women who look at the floor; but it's worth reconsidering.
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:30 +0100 (BST)
From: "Chris, UK" <tl2@chrisjj.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Cc: tl2@chrisjj.com
spatz@tangoDC.com wrote:
> both topics ARE essential to dancing _without being an ignoramus_.
The advantage of not being an ignoramus is... what, I wonder.
> Plus, the tango attracts intelligent people
It sure does. But they don't go these classes in this stuff you rightly
describe as neither necessary or effective.
> And is it such useless knowledge anyway? Well, what if some eager
> student decides to visit BA after five weeks of dancing?
If her teacher is as you describe, she'd be mad. Five weeks is just not
enough for all those classes in how to get from the hotel to the milonga,
how to pay the entrada, how to put on her shoes, how to drink wine without
falling off her chair, how to do the cabeceo of course, how to understand
the Spanish chat-up, and how to get out of the telo without waking him up.
Here's news: some people travel after zero weeks of dancing. They do so to
/learn/ how things work, not to play out imitation behaviour taught them in
classes.
> And what if someone does a performance that plays with the
> cabeceo creatively?
Based on the five-minute cabeceo lesson? What happens is the teacher dies
with embarrassment. Please. Hopefully his replacement is one who'll help
this student learn that any performance worth making comes not from a
five-minute imitation, but from the performer's own personality and feelings.
Chris
PS ?I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.?
Socrates
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:31:13 +0100 (BST)
From: Club~Tango*La Dolce Vita~ <dani@tango-la-dolce-vita.eu>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Now, Astrid, you don't seem to have read my posting correctly or understood the basic natural anthropological principle to which I refer. That is, the method by which ALL humans (cross-culture) will indicate information / catch attention should all other natural methods of communication are removed.
You refer to Germans as an example of a culture differing in their method of non-verbal communication. Ok so, as an example, let's take a German, >:-))))) tie him up, gag him, perhaps even hang him upside-down for good measure with his hair dangling in a plate of syrup which is resting on the floor, then introduce a colony of vicious soldier-ants into the room. Ok, now you sit in a chair on the other side of the room and ask him to communicate what he'd like you to do to get him out of his predicament. He can't use his arms, he can't verbalise his requirements, all he can do is cabaceo. Now, you might take this as an invitation to dance but in actual fact he's asking you to kill the ants, cut him down and untie and ungag him... ie save him.
His only means of communicating to you is by the body language of raising his eyebrows and nodding his head a bit. He may also, however, look a bit panicky and be sweating somewhat. :-)))
It's the same as seeing someone you are acquainted with but not on personal friendly terms with. The natural means of saying 'hello' is by raising the eyebrows and nodding the head a bit.
I don't care what you say about cultures... this is THE scientifically-known HUMAN way of communication across ALL cultures. It's primal. Simple as that.
Cheers,
Dani
https://www.tango-la-dolce-vita.eu
PS. I'd just leave the German hanging there >:-)))))))
astrid <astrid@ruby.plala.or.jp> wrote:
Now, Dani, you don't seem to not have read any of those numerous books on variations of mimics and gestures from country to country.
For exemple, when I read your description- raising of the eyebrows often
with an ever-so-slight (or more) tiliting/nodding of the head in the
direction of the target- I thought, huh? Raising of the eyebrows? Whoever
raises their eyebrows when they look at someone they like? I have only seen that with Latinos. You are Italian, right? In Germany, eyebrows are raised and chins are lowered in reproof, as in "We are amazed at your behaviour" (there is no smile) Having spent some time in Spain and among Argentines, I once met my (youngish) boss in the subway station, and spontaneously raised my eyebrows and moved my head slighlty backward with a slight grin- he looked shocked. I don't know what he understood, from that gesture. Oscar, for instance, taught us that the cabeceo is done by giving someone a sexy grin and tilting the head slightly to the side and then pointing with the chin towards the dance floor in a slightly rogueish way...
What constitutes a "sexy grin" might be enough to open another bag of
worms...
from traveling
Astrid
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 14:06:07 +1000
From: Gary Barnes <garybarn@ozemail.com.au>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
There seems a lot of evidence that the 'eyebrow flash' is a universal
facial gesture, which seems to signify something like recognition.
Other, more complex meanings ('do you want to mate', 'you are my
friend', 'do you want to dance') seem to be culturally specific.
The gesture itself is exaggerated in some cultures, and almost
completely proscribed in others.
>
> this is THE scientifically-known HUMAN way of communication across
> ALL cultures. It's primal. Simple as that.
Why does it never occur to some people to use it to invite someone to
dance; and why do some people, when seeing it, get the wrong message?
And when this is happening a lot, what is wrong with giving them a hint?
Gary
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 00:08:39 -0400
From: "WHITE 95 R" <white95r@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
I know it's late, but I just got back from the milonga and I keep reading
all these posts about the cabeceo, etc. I guess I'm just a practical person
but when I want to dance with somebody I'll either ask them verbally or if I
catch their eye from across the room I'll use the old cabeceo. I think
getting dances in local milongas is not really the problem. The famous
cabeceo is not necessary in local or regional milongas where the dancers
know each other even if it's just superficially. It's easy enough to just
ask somebody to dance and most likely they'll accept. We tell people in our
classes about the cabeceo and other customs of the Argentine tango. It's all
part and parcel of the tango culture, but it's not something we emphasize
too much. I think this falls in the category of teaching social skills. I
think that just teaching tango to a diverse group of people already requires
a good amount of intruction on social interaction. Teaching them every sort
of social skill is beyond the scope of the dance class.
Anyways, seems like the original poster said something about not being able
to get many dances using the cabeceo. Since he was very shy and did not
handle rejection easily, he wanted all the teachers to teach "cabeceo" to
their students to facilitate his social challenge. I think things got a bit
out of hand as usual and the whole thing now sounds more and more like an
socio-anthropological discussion. I think we all missed the boat. His
suggestion would not help him no matter how well the people were taught or
used the cabeceo. The reason he was not successful getting dances might be
precisely because the cabeceo was working exactly as designed.....
When one cannot make eye contact with people one wishes to dance with, it
can be because they are using the ploy of the cabeceo to avoid the unspoken
request and thusly spare the other person the rejection or having to accept
(out of courtesy) an invitation they rather not. It's been discussed before
about how difficult it can be to get known and accepted in a strange place.
Some people are much better than others at that sort of thing. Tango can be
just like any other social activity or venue. It's just as hard to break
into the in-crowd in salsa clubs, CW, swing, etc. Just because people are at
a milonga, it does not mean that they are willing to dance with just
anybody. If one has a hard time catching their eye to make the cabeceo it is
probably because they are actively avoiding one's eye contact. Short of
being a young, good looking, charismatic person (not necessarily in that
order), there is not guarantee of quick social acceptance and the succes
that brings to the old cabeceo ploy.
Actually, I think that if everybody used the cabeceo exclusively as the way
to ask for and accept invitations to dance, some people would find it
extremely difficult to get dances even in their home turf ;-). My advise for
what it's worth is to forget the cabeceo as the *only* way to connect with a
potential dance partner. Go ahead and ask them and let them tell you yes or
no and offer whatever lame or great excuse/reason for their denial. You'll
get lots more dances that way and get to know more people. After you are
known, you might have a much easier time of it. The key is not the cabeceo,
but rather being blessed with attrativeness and/or great dance skills or
being already a popular person in a group.
Sincerely,
Manuel
visit our webpage
www.tango-rio.com
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 22:33:49 -0600
From: "David Hodgson" <DHodgson@Tango777.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Cabeceo, again
Ok I used Cabaceo all last night at the milonga, I used Cabaceo when I was
in BSAS with no problems. And use it a lot of places were I go with not many
problems.
So this is an image of the string of this idea I had today at a practica.
I am at a museum featuring Dadaist works.
I have just met a woman and we are standing near a piece of art entitled
"Nodding eye of rocket scientist". We are listening to some people expound
upon the merits and downfalls of the art piece in question. We both agree
that we like the piece, but agree that it is obvious we don't know what the
hell this piece of art is about.
Then with out words, we begin to dance.
David~
