5425 Dance for success?
Date: Sun, 6 Jan 2008 11:28:58 -0300
From: "Janis Kenyon" <Jantango@feedback.net.ar>
Subject: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: "Tango-L" <Tango-L@MIT.EDU>
Tom Stermitz wrote:
Yes, the important thing for the guys is that they feel successful.
Like they have achieved mastery of something, and have the knowledge
and confidence to lead a beautiful woman into a dance.
In tango nothing happens without the guy coming up with an idea and
then executing. This is the crux of the "performance anxiety" problem.
And in tango you are expecting him to succeed or fail in front of a
woman, which loads it even more.
You want to retain men? Leave them at the end of each class confident,
with the new ideas well-integrated with things they already know. For
a beginner, that might just be walking.
The business strategy of "teach something difficult so they will take
privates", doesn't succeed with men. They'll just quit. Maybe they are
cheap; But really they feel unsuccessful and frustrated.>>>>>>>>
Success? Mastery? Knowledge? Confidence?
What about being inspired by the music and dancing that feeling?
Milongueros dance because the music inspires them, not because they are
successful.
The problem for so many men is that they are thinking rather than feeling.
No wonder men experience performance anxiety. Their memory fails them after
all those classes of step patterns that are useless on crowded floor.
Men will dance well when they can embrace a woman and be present in the
moment.
Janis
www.ToTango.net/milongueros.html
Date: Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:10:40 -0700
From: Nina Pesochinsky <nina@earthnet.net>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: Janis Kenyon <Jantango@feedback.net.ar>
Cc: Tango-L <tango-l@mit.edu>
format="flowed"
The first thing that most Argentine men ask the woman after the first
dance is if she feels comfortable. In 12 years, I only heard that
>from one non-Argentine man.
Perhaps, there is a different definition of what success is and it may
vary from culture to culture.
Best regards to everyone,
Nina
Quoting Janis Kenyon <Jantango@feedback.net.ar>:
> Tom Stermitz wrote:
>
> Yes, the important thing for the guys is that they feel successful.
> Like they have achieved mastery of something, and have the knowledge
> and confidence to lead a beautiful woman into a dance.
>
> In tango nothing happens without the guy coming up with an idea and
> then executing. This is the crux of the "performance anxiety" problem.
> And in tango you are expecting him to succeed or fail in front of a
> woman, which loads it even more.
>
> You want to retain men? Leave them at the end of each class confident,
> with the new ideas well-integrated with things they already know. For
> a beginner, that might just be walking.
>
> The business strategy of "teach something difficult so they will take
> privates", doesn't succeed with men. They'll just quit. Maybe they are
> cheap; But really they feel unsuccessful and frustrated.>>>>>>>>
>
>
>
> Success? Mastery? Knowledge? Confidence?
>
> What about being inspired by the music and dancing that feeling?
> Milongueros dance because the music inspires them, not because they are
> successful.
>
> The problem for so many men is that they are thinking rather than feeling.
> No wonder men experience performance anxiety. Their memory fails them after
> all those classes of step patterns that are useless on crowded floor.
>
> Men will dance well when they can embrace a woman and be present in the
> moment.
>
>
> Janis
> www.ToTango.net/milongueros.html
>
>
>
https://www.earthnet.net Boulder's Premier Datacenter
Date: Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:48:30 -0200
From: Shahrukh Merchant <shahrukh@shahrukhmerchant.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: tango-l@mit.edu
> The first thing that most Argentine men ask the woman after the first
> dance is if she feels comfortable. In 12 years, I only heard that
> from one non-Argentine man.
Hmm, I thought, "What's your phone number?" was the first question. :-)
But seriously, if you're right (I'm skeptical), I have to admit that I
have never asked that of a woman (other than possibly if she was in
obvious discomfort, but I probably blocked out that scenario ...).
Tonight I shall try a controlled experiment.
Test Group A:
Are you comfortable?
What's your phone number?
Test Group B (what I thought most Argentine men ask ...):
Do you have a boyfriend?
What's your phone number?
Let's see with which group I get more phone numbers.
Shahrukh
P.S. Remind me not to post to Tango-L after consuming the better part of
a bottle of an exquisite 2000 Salentein Malbec ... mmm ... (caveat
emptor: more recent vintages not as good).
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2008 17:18:28 -0800 (PST)
From: NANCY <ningle_2000@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: Shahrukh Merchant <shahrukh@shahrukhmerchant.com>
Cc: tango-l <tango-l@mit.edu>
You are confused, Shahrukh.
The first question at the end of the first song is
"Are you comfortable?" After the second song, it is
"Do you have a boyfriend?" And the third question is
"Will you go for coffee?" ** at the end of the tanda.
They may offer to give the woman their phone number,
but it will usually be a cellphone or the number of
the store near their house. Wouldn't want the wife or
the girlfriend intercepting those calls.
**'Going for coffee' has a much more provocative
connotation than it does in the US. I have answered,
"A cafe milonguero o un cafe de amistad?"
(friendship).
<GRIN>
Nancy
--- Shahrukh Merchant <shahrukh@shahrukhmerchant.com>
wrote:
> > The first thing that most Argentine men ask the
> woman after the first
> > dance is if she feels comfortable. In 12 years, I
> only heard that
> > from one non-Argentine man.
>
> Hmm, I thought, "What's your phone number?" was the
> first question. :-)
>
> But seriously, if you're right (I'm skeptical), I
> have to admit that I
> have never asked that of a woman (other than
> possibly if she was in
> obvious discomfort, but I probably blocked out that
> scenario ...).
>
> Tonight I shall try a controlled experiment.
>
> Test Group A:
>
> Are you comfortable?
> What's your phone number?
>
> Test Group B (what I thought most Argentine men ask
> ...):
>
> Do you have a boyfriend?
> What's your phone number?
>
> Let's see with which group I get more phone numbers.
>
> Shahrukh
>
> P.S. Remind me not to post to Tango-L after
> consuming the better part of
> a bottle of an exquisite 2000 Salentein Malbec ...
> mmm ... (caveat
> emptor: more recent vintages not as good).
>
>
<<Rito es la danza en tu vida
y el tango que tu amas
te quema en su llama>>
de: Bailarina de tango
por: Horacio Sanguinetti
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 13:05:00 +0000
From: "'Mash" <mashdot@toshine.net>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: Tango-L <tango-l@mit.edu>
On Mon, Jan 07, 2008 at 05:18:28PM -0800, NANCY wrote:
> You are confused, Shahrukh.
>
> The first question at the end of the first song is
> "Are you comfortable?" After the second song, it is
> "Do you have a boyfriend?" And the third question is
> "Will you go for coffee?" ** at the end of the tanda.
> They may offer to give the woman their phone number,
> but it will usually be a cellphone or the number of
> the store near their house. Wouldn't want the wife or
> the girlfriend intercepting those calls.
>
> **'Going for coffee' has a much more provocative
> connotation than it does in the US. I have answered,
> "A cafe milonguero o un cafe de amistad?"
> (friendship).
>
> <GRIN>
> Nancy
What about...
1) "How long have you been dancing, that was fantastic thank you."
2) "Those shoes are beautiful are they comfortable? You feel really light it's amazing."
3) "That was wonderful thank you, it was a real pleasure dancing with you we should do this again."
4) "Can I be as bold to ask for your number, it would be great to meet up for a dance again or even just chat about Tango over a coffee?"
or sometimes...
1) "Um sorry you are really squeezing my hand."
2) "No I don't have a girlfriend."
3) "Um sorry can you stop licking my ear it is very distracting."
4) "What as in a CUP of coffee?"
5) "Again, No I think I'll sit this one out thanks."
6) "Single? Sorry I lied to you I am married."
7) "What, Sorry I am not really telling you the truth I am actually gay."
8) "No bringing your best gay friend with you wouldn't change my mind!"
9) "Honestly no, I am not gay."
10) "No I don't think you are unattractive or dance badly."
11) "Listen, Would you like to have a coffee and talk about all that?"
12) "Here is my number, give me a call and we can meet up, don't stress too much I am sure things will get better."
'Mash, UK
London
"Tango, like eating peas with honey."
Date: Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:08:26 +0100
From: Andy Ungureanu <abungureanu@googlemail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
Cc: tango-l <tango-l@mit.edu>
I am afraid you forgot a interim question:
Am 08.01.2008 02:18 schrieb NANCY :
> You are confused, Shahrukh.
>
> The first question at the end of the first song is
> "Are you comfortable?" After the second song, it is
> "Do you have a boyfriend?"
If the answer is yes, the next question is: "is he here with you?" If he
is not, continue with the coffee ;-)
> And the third question is
> "Will you go for coffee?" ** at the end of the tanda.
> They may offer to give the woman their phone number,
> but it will usually be a cellphone or the number of
> the store near their house. Wouldn't want the wife or
> the girlfriend intercepting those calls.
>
> **'Going for coffee' has a much more provocative
> connotation than it does in the US. I have answered,
> "A cafe milonguero o un cafe de amistad?"
> (friendship).
>
I think it has a very clear and unique meaning ;-) If you are so naive
and think he is really talking about coffee and go for it, you will
disappoint him and he will think (and tell everyone else) you are
"histerica", i.e. you say yes and then no....
Andy
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 12:14:44 -0700
From: "Tango Tango" <tangotangotango@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: tango-l <tango-l@mit.edu>
<9fb1555a0801081114l25caf271wa104f8380b7f449d@mail.gmail.com>
"-Vamos a tomar mate. Yerba no hay".
Neil
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 18:51:03 -0300
From: "Janis Kenyon" <Jantango@feedback.net.ar>
Subject: [Tango-L] Dance for success?
To: "Tango-L" <Tango-L@MIT.EDU>
Shahrukh Merchant wrote:
But seriously, if you're right (I'm skeptical), I have to admit that I
have never asked that of a woman (other than possibly if she was in
obvious discomfort, but I probably blocked out that scenario ...).>>>
I will share the simple one word question that milongueros ask after the
first dance with a woman with whom they have danced for the first time...
Bien?
If she doesn't answer "si" promptly with a smile, then you should make
changes in your dancing before inviting her again. She may not accept a
second tanda.
Janis
www.ToTango.net/milongueros.html
