1557  Nice girls don't...

Date: Sat, 19 Jul 2003 00:36:09 -0700
From: luda_r1 <luda_r1@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Nice girls don't...

...dance tango, that is. In Buenos Aires, anyway.
Apparently.

Went to a milonga the other night. When I walked in, I
saw a new face at the reception desk, a nice lady from
Buenos Aires who was visiting her uncle, the co-host
of the milonga. She was just helping him out with the
event.

We chatted for a bit. Exchanged the usual
pleasantries. She's charming and gracious, and
drop-dead gorgeous. A real class act. Of course I
asked her soon into the conversation whether or not
she danced tango. She said no. I was somewhat taken
aback. I asked, why not. She said she likes to dance
other kinds of dances, but she does not dance tango. I
asked, why not. She hesitated. I asked, did she like
it. She hesitated some more, but admitted that she
did. But did not dance. One of the reasons offered was
that it is not proper for an Argentinian woman to go
to milongas alone, she must always be accompanied by a
a friend, or go in a group. OK, fair enough, I said.
But wouldn't she make friends once she got into the
"tango community"? (That good old American pragmatism
at work!) At this point she started to squirm a
little, and yet seemed to want to tell me something
which she didn't quite know how. Her English was VERY
good, but when it comes to certain nuances...it can be
hard. I looked at this lovely lady, trying to read her
between the lines, across the cultural differences.
She was so endearing. We had already formed a little
bit of a bond. I didn't want to embarrass her in any
form or shape, and yet could not resist the temptation
to take advantage of this opportunity to get an
insider's look at the tango world in BsAs from an
"outsider's" perspective. I took a wild guess and
jumped in. I asked, as gently as I possibly could, "Is
it perhaps that ladies from good families would be
considered disreputable if they did so?" A look of
relief spread across her face and she nodded, "Eso
es!" That's it! (Made complete sense to me, in light
of all the shenanigans that go on in the tango
community in BsAs disccused recently in such minute
detail on the List.) But then she seemed to look a
little concerned, perhaps as to whether or not she had
offended me somehow with her comments, another "loca
tanguera gringa", but I simply gave her a hug and a
kiss and walked away as I heard "Recuerdo" wafting
through the air, which I had especially requested...

I think one of the problems of discussing this subject
of "codes" within the tango community in Argentina, or
elsewhere, is that we've been all doing it from the
INSIDE. Everybody I know here in tango, and everybody
who's been to Argentina that I know, Argentinians who
live here and dance the tango, people on the List, are
all INSIDE the tango community. We're all tangueros.
We love the tango and a good part of our lives is
devoted to it. I believe our perception of the tango
reality is consequently squewed. As to how we fit into
the world at large and how we are perceived by the
non-tango world. Especially in BsAs. This lady is from
OUTSIDE the tango world living in BsAs, a whole other
different reality, it seems. But still very much
aware of it, being a genuine, real-life porteqa. And
even part of it, since her uncle is a tanguero.

The next time I run into him when he's not working a
milonga, I'll ask. :)

Luda




=====
"Dance like nobody's watching." Anonymous

Date: Mon, 21 Jul 2003 20:13:39 +0200
From: andy Ungureanu <andy.ungureanu@T-ONLINE.DE>
Subject: Re: Nice girls don't...

luda_r1 wrote:

> ...dance tango, that is. In Buenos Aires, anyway.
> Apparently.
>

This message was not so "interesting" as the discussion about Rick
beeing a liar, crazy or a poet :(
Nevertheless I would be interested in some (hard) facts about the social
structure of the tangueros in B.A. if available.
I know about studies in Germany which revealed that more than 2/3 of the
dancers had a university degree. The last year informal study on Tago-L
showed similar results among women dancers in US. Tango in the northern
emisphaere seems to be a hobby of the upper middle class.

We know that less than 1 habitant of B.A out of 1000 regularly visits
milongas. I don't know, but I can imagine that nobody working each day
from 9 to 5 can afford to visit milongas from 11.30 pm to 4.00 am more
than once during the week. When visiting B.A. as a tango tourist, you
can meet almost the same guys (portenos, not tourists) each night.

Are there any studies about dancers in B.A.? This could be one part of
the explanation to "nice girls don't dance tango"
Another one could be simply 100 years old prejudices.

curious
Andy

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2003 15:19:33 +0900
From: astrid <astrid@RUBY.PLALA.OR.JP>
Subject: Re: Nice girls don't...

Luda wrote:

> ..dance tango, that is. In Buenos Aires, anyway.
> Apparently.
>

"Is

> it perhaps that ladies from good families would be
> considered disreputable if they did so?" A look of
> relief spread across her face and she nodded, "Eso
> es!" >
>

From what I heard (and read right here), nice boys do not dance tango
either.
Now that tango has been declared a cultural heritage, the Argentine embassy
in Tokyo supports big tango events. The Argentine consul will even give a
welcome speech to the Japanese tango lovers. But in private, he will tell
you that he is "not very good at it".
I thought, it was admitting a lack, but friends told me, that is how you
make your social status clear. Nice, well educated men on a career path are
not supposed to be very good at it.