2569  Teaching on the dancing floor

Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 19:59:41 +0000
From: Sergio Vandekier <sergiovandekier990@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Teaching on the dancing floor

Tom says:

"Tango places a lot of power in the role of the leader
(typically male).
Power to ask ladies for a dance, power to set style, tone, musicality
of the dance; power to move the follower around the room. Tango places
the women in a receptive role, which sort of sets her up for taking the
blame for mistakes, whether they are hers or his. "

I usually agree with what Tom has to say...
I agree in this case as well but I notice that there are some nuances,
certain different shades of color of those facts depending on places and
circumstances.

The man asks the lady to dance but she can encourage or discourage this
invitation, she may look, stare or pretend that he is transparent, she can
also reject his invitation. In summary it does not matter where, she always
says in some unequivocal way, "come and get me" or "don't even think about
it." :)) This last attitude translates in his mind : "Do you think that
somebody with my looks, my elegance, my dancing skills could be interested
in wasting a whole tango with somebody like you?" :)))

The receptive role of the woman, places her in a situation where she ignores
what he has in mind.
This makes her very attentive, very receptive to his lead, this increases
the depth of communication with her partner, one of the unique
characteristics of tango.

The good leader should set the style in accordance with that of the lady. He
should adjust his dancing to hers. She is a "slow" dancer he dances
slowly, she is an acrobatic fast dancer he tries to complement such
characteristics. If she dances salon, he dances salon. His interest is to
make sure that the lady is having a good time while she is in his arms.

He is never going to blame her for a mistake. He will accept his fault
humbly whenever something did not work. Were he to lead something that she
was not prepared to follow ?, this is clearly his mistake. She did not get
his lead? no big deal, he should compensate so that she would not even know
this ever happened. The man always accepts responsibility for what happens
while the lady is in his arms.

In summary the "poor" fellow has many things to worry about : He feels the
music, he decides what to do with it, he communicates his proposals to her,
he navigates the floor dancing with all the other dancers without disturbing
them, he protects his lady, He adjusts to her style, he gets a feeling of
what she can do and does not lead anything that she is unable to follow.

He wants to make sure that when the music stops, she stays there, in front
of him, if the idea of finishing the set crosses his mind she reads that in
his eyes and says " the first ones are to get acquainted, aren't they?, now
that we are knowing each other, can we have another one? please!" she
smiles, he feels well, returns the smile and says : "of course, one hundred
more".

Both have a good time and remain to be good friends.

Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 15:06:20 -0700
From: Phil Seyer <weddingdj@GMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Teaching on the dancing floor

In the milongas I attend, women are encouraged to ask men to dance. Is
this just a California thing or is this also the norm elsewhere?

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Phil Seyer