737  How to keep men in tango

Date: Mon, 9 Sep 2002 22:20:24 -0400
From: Michael B Ditkoff <tangomaniac@JUNO.COM>
Subject: How to keep men in tango

There have been a lot of mail dealing with how to keep men
in tango. What helped me was continued encouragement
from my teacher ("Michael, it's connection NOT figures that the
women want!!) and better dancers (Tha't OK. I have nine other
toes.") They appreciated my clumsy efforts at leading.
If not for their encouragement, I'd be gone.

I was intimidated at milongas by men who led complicated
figures. I later found out that their leading wasn't so good,
based on what the women told me. I'll always be grateful to the woman
who said to me "I'd give anything for a man who can walk, and lead
the cross and ochos." (I won't embarrass her by printing her name.)

My lack of self-confidence also kept be back. There were certain women I
was afraid to ask. Their skill level was beyond mine and I was convinced
I couldn't satisfy on the dance floor. They never said they wouldn't
dance with
me; I convinced myself they wouldn't dance with me. One night, I actually
asked a teacher for a dance. The worst DIDN'T happen. I didn't embarrass
myself
nor her. I apologized for not asking her sooner to dance.

To the women who complain that men don't ask them to dance, I respond
"Are you sending a signal you want to dance?" When you sit with your
girlfriends in animated
conversation, does it look like you want to dance? If you're sitting at a
booth eating
dinner in a restaurant, does it look like you want to dance? Send us a
signal you
want to dance.

A little encouraging goes a long way. The seed you water today will grow
to be a dancer.
I'm NOT suggesting you water egos. I am suggesting that women blow on the
embers
that will turn into a raging fire inside men who want to dance tango

Michael
Washington, DC