4038  Married couples in BA

Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2006 16:45:16 +0000
From: Clive Randewich <clive_randewich@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Married couples in BA

Hi,
I'd be grateful for any comments on the subject of married couples at the
milongas in BA.

My understanding is that, in earlier times, men did not take their wives to
the milongas. Is that still true today? If they do, would they both
typically dance with a number of other partners, or only with each other?

Finally, I'd appreciate any advice for a N. American husband and wife who
visit BA and would like to dance not only with each other, but with people
from BA. For example, would you suggest that they should enter the milonga
separately, and pretend not to know each other?

Once again, thank you.
Clive

Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2006 19:27:40 +0100
From: Christian Lüthen <christian.luethen@GMX.NET>
Subject: Re: Married couples in BA

Clive,

you both want to go to Bs.As. and you both want to dance there: together and with other
people. Go for it (both) and do not let you talk out of it from others!

Go for it, and go for it together ... just take a simple advice:
You can enter the milonga together, no problem. You can even take a table together ... but
then the most difficult part starts: the male part has to prove that he is agreing that other
males could take the female part to dance. How to achieve this?
After entering the milonga you can definitely dance a tanda with together ... BUT then the
male part has as soon as possible to start to dance (either you do the cabaceo from your own
table, or you can use a trick: just stroll around and do the cabaceo 'on the stroll'). The idea is
to prove that the male part is also dancing with other - and more than one tanda! Actually the
lady should be left "alone" for quite a while! Avoid to cling together, maximum of the first and
the last tanda together (perhaps one in between if it's a long long nigth, but this will allready
be risky!).

Also this first tanda together is of extreme importance! The male part should prove the best
possible that the female part is a great dancer, rewarding to be asked to dance! This should
be done carefully (not figures or steps are the clue to good dancing, but the general dancing
attitude [one might be great in dancing on Piazzolla on a gigantic and empty dancefloor at
home ... but Bs.As. is not the place to prove these 'abilities'!].

An option to add is to come to the milonga together with friends, another couple ie. First
tanda together in couples, second a break, third half cross-over, later other half cross-over ...
and the men have to go on a stroll!


Another good idea is to frequent the afternoon practicas (or the pre-salon practicas): if you're
lucky the teachers are incourageing change of partners and if you're lucky again you will
meet the same people again at night ... making it easier for the first invitations to dance! One
place I really liked for this purpose (and to train on 'cabaceo') is the afternoon practica /
milonga at 'Club Espagnol' ... allthough at this place I would advice you not to show up
together (and not to take a table together) as there'a man's side and a women's side
separated by the walkway to the dancing floor. Of course the first time you'd show up you'd
be placed far in the back - this also happens to first time locals! If the female part is a great
dancer do the "introductory tanda trick" again ... but only after quite a while. (no kissing etc.
on this occasion - stay in distance ... you can do this later) Also at this place to show up with
two couples should be more fun, but: split up ... men go solo and women go solo! You will
meet people of these places again later in the evening milongas!


For the rest: also local / argentinian newcomers have a tough time too! Do not expect that the
whole Bs.As. dance scene only waited for you ... there are sooooo many good dancers down
there [and also a lot quite lousy one]. Locals take weeks and months to get into the scene ...
so take time! Try to stay as long as possible, esp. if you're there the first time ever and
nobody knows you!

Also: Do not step into the 'I give you my card, am a tango-teacher'-trick ... seemingly
everybody down there is a teacher.

Also: Speaking spanish/castellano helps a lot!!! At least a couple of words!!! If talking in your
own language: Do NOT do it loud! Especially (american) english is not fancied too much. Do
not compare to you home tango - at least not on the dancefloor with locals - ... there's a world
outside!

Do not do the biggest mistake possible: Do NOT invest unnecessary money in 'taxi-dancers'.
Everybody in Bs.As. knows who those guys are - they will laugh at you and still won't ask you
to dance. Actually they'd even avoid you more!

Also behave normally and carefully in the milongas: Do not forget the the argentinian
currency is Pesos, not Dolares! (unless you want yourself to be hated (only loved for your
money)). Give tips to the waiter, but do this reasonable!!! (you're are allowed to repeat it)
Adjust it to service quality, but never exagerated (to not destroy the prices for the locals).
[BTW: Taxi in general do not get a tip, maximum round up should be done to the next half
peso! Maximum - as in general locals in Bs.As. do not tip taxi drivers.]


Oh yep, something more: allthough it's tempting do try not to hang out with you own
landsmen to much at the milongas. By chosing your own table apart from the others of your
country you mark that you want to dance with locals / non tourist.


ONE last advice: Do NOT be TOO frustrated if the locals still won't ask you ... a lot of tourist
have extremely high dancing skills compared to the locals. Therefore dancing with tourist can
also be quite rewarding.

Enjoy your stay - go for it: Bs.As. is great! Tell us about your experience later!
Christian


P.S.: Forgot one point: Do NOT only take classes, in fact the most important things to do in
Bs.As. is to go out to the milongas! [starting 23.30, crowded from 0.30 thru 3.oo, more space
to dance after this time] Milongas milongas milongas, that's the clue.
Also do not only chose the so called "best" teachers: Also the not-so-well-known can know a
lot. Don't plan anything in the morning hours ... you need these to sleep in after your late late
night milonga experiences!!!





On 28 Jan 2006 at 16:45, Clive Randewich wrote:

> Hi,
> I'd be grateful for any comments on the subject of married couples at the
> milongas in BA.
>
> My understanding is that, in earlier times, men did not take their wives to
> the milongas. Is that still true today? If they do, would they both
> typically dance with a number of other partners, or only with each other?
>
> Finally, I'd appreciate any advice for a N. American husband and wife who
> visit BA and would like to dance not only with each other, but with people
> from BA. For example, would you suggest that they should enter the milonga
> separately, and pretend not to know each other?
>
> Once again, thank you.
> Clive
>

Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2006 14:03:41 -0700
From: Tom Stermitz <stermitz@TANGO.ORG>
Subject: Re: Married couples in BA

This is all pretty good advice.

The codes are looser than in the old days, ... like ten years ago!


My wife & I had very little problem dancing with the locals, once
they got to know us. Yes, she is attractive, and a good dancer. It
didn't happen until after they watched us dance, noticed that we fit
right in, and after I started asking some of the other ladies. In
fact, you could see the little buzz at the ladies' tables as they
asked the test subject whether I was good; same at the guys table
after they asked my wife.

The important thing to do is show that you are there to dance, and
know the codes of the dance floor. Yes, the cabeceo, but more
importantly respect for line of dance, and fitting in with the
general style.


I have to highlight another of Christian's comments. In Buenos Aires,
stage tango is much more distinct from social tango than in the US,
i.e. you will see it on stage, but not at the milonga. Leave your
"ganchos-cool-moves-neo/non-tango" vocabulary at home.

There are a few practices and 20-something alternative milongas, but
the milongas are for social dancing. The weird thing is that a lot of
classes teach show dance; you have to look carefully to find social
dance being taught. It seems like they have an attitude of, "social
dance is so easy, why would anyone teach it?"

The few times we saw show dancing during a milonga it was invariably
a foreigner. One couple from brazil actually came dressed in a
costume from the 1930s, and did their little memorized routine in the
middle of the floor. The juxtaposition with the calm social dancers
carefully avoiding them was bizarre.



On Jan 28, 2006, at 11:27 AM, Christian Lüthen wrote:

> Clive,
>
> you both want to go to Bs.As. and you both want to dance there:
> together and with other
> people. Go for it (both) and do not let you talk out of it from
> others!
>
> Go for it, and go for it together ... just take a simple advice:
> You can enter the milonga together, no problem. You can even take a
> table together ... but
> then the most difficult part starts: the male part has to prove
> that he is agreing that other
> males could take the female part to dance. How to achieve this?
> After entering the milonga you can definitely dance a tanda with
> together ... BUT then the
> male part has as soon as possible to start to dance (either you do
> the cabaceo from your own
> table, or you can use a trick: just stroll around and do the
> cabaceo 'on the stroll'). The idea is
> to prove that the male part is also dancing with other - and more
> than one tanda! Actually the
> lady should be left "alone" for quite a while! Avoid to cling
> together, maximum of the first and
> the last tanda together (perhaps one in between if it's a long long
> nigth, but this will allready
> be risky!).
> ...
>
> On 28 Jan 2006 at 16:45, Clive Randewich wrote:
>
>> Hi,
>> I'd be grateful for any comments on the subject of married couples
>> at the
>> milongas in BA.
>>
>> My understanding is that, in earlier times, men did not take their
>> wives to
>> the milongas. Is that still true today? If they do, would they both
>> typically dance with a number of other partners, or only with each
>> other?
>>
>> Finally, I'd appreciate any advice for a N. American husband and
>> wife who
>> visit BA and would like to dance not only with each other, but
>> with people
>> from BA. For example, would you suggest that they should enter the
>> milonga
>> separately, and pretend not to know each other?
>>
>> Once again, thank you.
>> Clive
>>
>