3820 Music and the Cabeceo
Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 09:22:15 -0700
From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Music and the Cabeceo
Hi All!
Trini here. Last Saturday at a big local milonga
here, I spent some time observing things and comparing
notes.
I have theorized that perhaps people do not use the
cabaeceo in the States because people do not
appreciate music well enough to understand the effects
of music on one's dance. If they did, then perhaps
they would respect the cabeceo more.
For example, although all of the music at the milonga
was good, the energy would deflate at times, leaving
several of the musically-sensitive dancers less
inspired to dance. One result was that some who could
not get into connection-mode went into step-mode. As
one man expressed it, his partners would thank him for
a great dance, but he himself didn't feel terribly
inspired during the dance. (BTW it was this promising
deejay's professional debut and the floor mostly
cleared during the cortinas).
So why would a man dance with a woman when he is less
inspired? Because of the aggressiveness of the less
musically-sensitive women. Unfortunately for guys
trying to encourage beginning women, it is not always
easy to "free" themselves when these same women
progress but not musically.
I have noticed that if a woman asks a
musically-sensitive man to dance, he usually doesn't
mind being verbally asked if she is also
musically-sensitive, regardless of level. However, if
she is not musically-sensitive, he can resent being
asked (I think because it is harder for him to reject
an invitation gracefully). A similar thing happens
when a less experienced man asks a musically-sensitive
woman to dance.
If one were to encourage the use of the cabeceo,
taking a "music affects dancing affects
partnering-choices" approach may be more effective
than either a "because that's what Argentines do" or a
"prevent public humiliation" approach in some
communities. Any comments?
Also, a question for the guys - How do you handle
turning down an invitation to dance when verbally
asked by a woman? Or do you?
Trini de Pittsburgh
PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance.
https://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm
Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 17:59:03 +0100
From: John Ward <johnofbristol@TISCALI.CO.UK>
Subject: Re: Music and the Cabeceo
Trini asks:
> Also, a question for the guys - How do you handle
> turning down an invitation to dance when verbally
> asked by a woman? Or do you?
The simple answer is - we don't! We can't! It is impossible even to consider
it. The universe would implode if one did.
John Ward
Bristol, UK
Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:16:08 -0700
From: Jennifer Rondeau <angelicatech@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Invitations to the dance, WAS Music and the Cabeceo
Gee, John, I'd sure like to dance in your world.
But in mine, there are all too many instances of "gee,
well, maybe later," or "i'm resting" -- only to watch
said respondee march off with someone evidently more
glamorous to be seen dancing with.
This behavior, BTW, I've noted in dancers who seem
quite delighted to dance with me elsewhere, where
perhaps the glamor quotient isn't as high. Me, I now
decline *their* invitations. I still try to do so
more gracefully than they have tended to decline mine.
I'm not the only woman of a certain age I've observed
treated in this manner, either, including dancers who
are far more advanced and skillful than I. I
acknowledge that there are certainly other variables
at work here, too, but age does seem to be one of
them.
Jennifer in Eugene
--- John Ward <johnofbristol@TISCALI.CO.UK> wrote:
> Trini asks:
>
> > Also, a question for the guys - How do you handle
> > turning down an invitation to dance when verbally
> > asked by a woman? Or do you?
>
> The simple answer is - we don't! We can't! It is
> impossible even to consider
> it. The universe would implode if one did.
>
> John Ward
> Bristol, UK
>
>
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Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 14:36:15 -0400
From: WHITE 95 R <white95r@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Music and the Cabeceo
It's not easy to turn down a dance when asked. I generally will acceed to
the request except if the music is not inspiring to me. I'm really affected
by the music so I will decline to dance to music I the music is not "right".
I'm sure this will cause some hurt feelings from time to time, particularly
if I had not accepted an invitation for a particular tanda but later that
same woman might see me dance with another woman. The chances are she might
not notice or remember that I said no to that tanda...... I'm even more
picky with the music when dancing with my favorite partners. Sometimes it's
not about the person at all.... There is no point in thinking that it's all
about looks and youth. It really isn't for some of us. For me, the main
thing is that the dance should feel good and be enjoyable. That means that
the muisc and the partner should be appropriate. After all, do we not dance
for the enjoyment of it?
Enjoyable dances to all,
Manuel
>From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos@YAHOO.COM>
>Also, a question for the guys - How do you handle
>turning down an invitation to dance when verbally
>asked by a woman? Or do you?
>
>Trini de Pittsburgh
>
Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 11:52:53 -0700
From: Rick Jones <rwjones52@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Music and the Cabeceo
--- "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos@YAHOO.COM>
wrote:
>
> Also, a question for the guys - How do you handle
> turning down an invitation to dance when verbally
> asked by a woman? Or do you?
>
I generally feel that if a woman has the nerve to ask
me to dance, then I'll dance with her regardless of
anything else. It's a bold move on her part, and I
like to encourage boldness in life.
Generally.
But every once in a while I really don't feel like
dancing or I really hate the music or whatever, in
which case I might say something like, "You know, I'd
love to, but not this tanda. Can we wait a tanda or
two until my feet cool off?"
And then I make sure I seek that woman out at the
earliest chance.
Rick Jones
Washington DC
Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 14:30:41 -0700
From: steve pastor <tang0man2005@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Invitations to the dance, WAS Music and the Cabeceo
Ladies:
Depending on your perspective, this may ease your mind, or not.
A male friend and I were comparing women. You know, the sort of thing men talk about when there are no women within hearing distance. Not surprisingly we agreed that we usually don't bother with the young, hot looking women because we know that certain guys will be all over them to dance.
Of course, we both go where we go to dance, and that is pretty much why we are there. The other guys have other things on their agenda.
And, we observe that the young women most often end up paired off with young men. No surprise there.
Do either of us resent the men who chase after these women? No. Another reason for this is that we both know that many young women are more interested in either showing off, or being shown off, rather than truly being in a partnership while dancing. They also have things on their agenda other than dancing.
And, try to be kind to the nice men who don't chase after the young women. We'll be the guys who aren't running their way.
Steve
Yahoo! for Good
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