2418  recent comments...

Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 15:02:05 -0500
From: Frank Williams <frankw@MAIL.AHC.UMN.EDU>
Subject: recent comments...

Friends,
(including A. and L.!)

Astrid writes: "I have never been forced to move
backwards so much in time as when I took on Argentine
tango, and had to play "the woman's part"'

Lois writes: "Ladies, if there are men who don't dance
with you because you are a = strong woman, with your own
opinions and demands - so what??"



Related to this, I sometimes get a little frustrated with
dancers who feel that being personally "strong" is
inconsistent with "following" in tango! ...or that leading
is a conspiracy to control! How naïve!

The traditional role of followers in tango gives them the
*final say* on what is good, what is desirable, what to keep
and what to reject. The final say! Isn't that adequate?
But the dance only works when there is (for lack of a better
term) "agreement" within the couple. By this I mean an
emotional and intellectual common ground - much more than
mere technical issues of mechanics. Finding THIS is like
finding a friend. It is purely interpersonal between only
two people, nothing more global than two individuals bathed
in music. The PROCESS of this interpersonal meeting is
unchanged by time - only the political and cultural setpoints
surrounding the process have changed. Leading as a symbol
of authority or power?!?! Please!!!

For some reason, an analogy to cooking comes to mind. ;-)

The leader is like the chef and the follower is (by virtue of
being asked) like the favored dinner guest - the focus of the
creative process. Of course, the honoree gets to decide what
they like and make it known (a reward for the chef). ...or
they can send everything back to the kitchen. Analogous things
happen on the dance floor. No inspiration this time? Maybe
try a different entrée next time. However, when the follower
does the inviting, the dynamic IS different. When the follower
asks somebody to lead them, the bestowal of favoritism is
NOT implicit. It may even be reversed. Don't think about
sending everything *you ordered* back to the kitchen! Voting
with the feet works both ways. You asked - the situation is
yours to deal with. The first time you send something back to
the kitchen could be the last - as in, "No soup for you!" ;-)

Of course, chefs who are skilled entertainers are not so
inflexible and will enjoy consulting with you on the spice, if
not the entire menu. I peel the potatoes, YOU add the basil!
That's friendly. That's what it's all about.

Our bodies are trying to have a quiet chat within and about
some very emotional music. If you can't try to open up to the
music and to your partner, you're missing the point. There's
nothing for you there and you shouldn't be on the floor. But if
you can manage in this timeless interpersonal setting, the
political and cultural mores of an earlier time (and perhaps
different culture) seem totally irrelevant. How else could
this artistic renaissance have such global appeal?

Bon appétit from the Sous Chef de la milonga,

Frank - Mpls.





Frank G. Williams, Ph.D.
University of Minnesota
frankw@umn.edu
612-625-6441

Department of Neuroscience
6-145 Jackson Hall
321 Church St. SE.
Minneapolis, MN 55455

Department of Veterinary and Biomedical Sciences
1971 Commonwealth Ave.
St. Paul, Minnesota 55108