4439  Refusing the lead

Date: Sun, 02 Jul 2006 16:47:29 -0300
From: Deby Novitz <dnovitz@lavidacondeby.com>
Subject: [Tango-L] Refusing the lead
To: tango-l@mit.edu

I cannot imagine doing this. I just cannot. It blows my mind to think
a woman could refuse the lead of a man because she does not want to do
that step. The only time I have done it is in a milonga with a man who
insists on doing show tango moves with me. I will not do it. Show
tango in my opinion does not belong in a milonga, especially here where
the floors are crowded.

Every dancer should bring their own style to their dance. That goes
without question. Sense of style is not the same thing as refusing the
lead. You can do a backward ocho in many different ways, but you wait
for the lead to do it. You do not instead decide to substitute some
other movement because you do not want to dance a backward ocho.
Adornments or embellishments are ways the woman can dress up her dance -
but only if the man gives you the space to do it. Again, part of the lead.

Tango is a partner dance. You have to communicate with your partner.
It is not like salsa where you can decide you do not like how you are
being led, you pull apart and dance separate. Maybe I am being blond,
but I do not get why you would not follow your partner, unless you do
not know how to follow.

Date: Sun, 2 Jul 2006 20:35:57 -0600
From: Tom Stermitz <stermitz@tango.org>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Refusing the lead
To: tango-l@mit.edu

This has happened to me very occasionally with extremely good
followers when we were dancing completely in the zone.

I KNOW they could follow, but suddenly and intentionally did
something different. Because it was a totally intuitive moment, I
instantly dealt with it, and went on, only realizing the "mistake"
after the fact.

I think it was their way of challenging me, or seeing what I could do.

One of these women was Brigitta Winkler. Those of you who know ho
playful she is, would not be surprised at my experience.


On Jul 2, 2006, at 1:47 PM, Deby Novitz wrote:

> I cannot imagine doing this. I just cannot. It blows my mind to
> think
> a woman could refuse the lead of a man because she does not want to do
> that step. The only time I have done it is in a milonga with a man
> who
> insists on doing show tango moves with me. I will not do it. Show
> tango in my opinion does not belong in a milonga, especially here
> where
> the floors are crowded.

Tom Stermitz
https://www.tango.org