641  Tango eyes, dance requests, height, and etiquette

Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 14:42:44 EDT
From: Stephen Chin-Bow <CHIN-BOW@SACC.HSCBKLYN.EDU>
Subject: Tango eyes, dance requests, height, and etiquette

Dear Tango-L

On Saturday I was at the Central Park milonga in New York City hosted by Trey
Parker and Rick Castro. I was sitting on a bench, talking to an Argentine
friend Miguel, when a friend, who I have not seen in several months, smiled
as she walked towards us. When she finally reached us she greeted both of us
warmly.

Later in the conversation (after our friend had walked way to change her shoes)
I said to Miguel, "Is that what it feels like at an Argentina milonga when a
man asks a woman to dance by looking towards her, and there is another woman
behind her who thinks she is being asked to dance?"

On Sunday I was at the "Tango Porteno" event in NYC (also an outdoor milonga).
I was sitting on the railing of the pier, when I saw a different friend walking
towards me (from my left). I started waving, but at the same time another man,
sitting several feet to my left (ie, closer to my friend) also started waving.

My friend was wearing dark sun glasses, so it was unclear who she was waving
at. She stopped walking when she reached the other man. The confusion was
caused by my inability to see her eyes or my inability to use other nonverbal
cues to decide if she was really waving at me or the other man.

Maybe she stopped at the man to my left because she reached him first and did
not want to offend him by passing him. But maybe she was waving at him.

Any conclusions?

On my web site I have described my observations about how people in NYC ask
other people to dance, and how I seem to fit into this system.

https://www.tangocentral.com/usa/newyork/elchino/HOWTOASK.HTM

On another section of my site I describe my behavior at practicas/milongas
and I describe factors such as "timing", height, manners, apologies,
confessions, and other things which may be described as "etiquette".

https://www.tangocentral.com/usa/newyork/elchino/APPROACH.HTM

BTW, I reorganized my web site, so it is not possible to create bookmarks
after you jump directly to an "internal" file of the site (click the RIGHT
mouse key on a Windows computer to create the bookmark).

If you want to send a private response send email to stephen@tangocentral.com

Ciao-

Stephen Chin-Bow

New York City's first internet tango calendar (and still the only NYC event
calendar which can be "personalized/customized" to your needs/schedule):

https://www.tangocentral.com/calendar