4174  You lead I follow

Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2006 05:47:06 -0300
From: Deby Novitz <dnovitz@lavidacondeby.com>
Subject: [Tango-L] You lead I follow
To: tango-l@mit.edu

OK, here I am again your tango big mouth from Buenos Aires...

Pray tell me Gabriel...if the man does not lead, how am I suppose to
follow? Or is it as one confused gentlemen told me in San Francisco a
few years back...since I did not take the classes (Take your pick -
Pablo Veron, Fabian Salas, Pulpo, etc.) that is why I did not know the
steps....If I have to dance with you looking at your feet it is because
I have to figure out what the hell you are doing...if you aren't a
beginner...this is what I call a mercy dance...with a guy who cannot lead.

Igor: A woman too, must understand the music and know how to interpret
it. This is what I have been told many times about me - I understand
the music. The women's rhythm does not always have to be what the man
is dancing but it has to move with his. A woman can play with another
part of the cadencia, a man who understands the music understands
her...and waits. This is the seduction of tango..not 500 fancy steps in
2 minutes. (I know Igor you did not infer that, it is my own sarcastic
attitude.)

Sean: By your logic when I was still commuting to Buenos Aires from San
Francisco, I should have created many problems in San Francisco. While
I probably did create many problems (such is my nature) I doubt you
will find that it was because I danced with men who were not at my level
or set impossible standards for other women...and dragged down my own
dancing at the same time. I danced with whoever asked me in my own
community - because this is where I lived. This is where I came to
dance...and I wanted to.

Teaching vs helping on the dance floor...unless the other person
asks..why don't you just enjoy the music. If the dance was that
painful, smile at the end of the tanda and say thank you...and don't
dance with them again. No one likes unsolicited advice.

A word to those women who do nothing but complain about the level of the
men in their community. Go dance salsa. (They have usually had a few
trips to Buenos Aires which of course now makes them an expert.)

I don't lead, I will never lead, I don't want to lead..how can I have
the passion for the music that I have in the arms of a women? I cannot,
it is just that simple. You ask anyone here who dances and they will
tell you the passion is for the music and to share it with another
embraced while moving together. Why is it here in Buenos Aires when
you see women dancing together they are not Argentines? Saying you have
to lead and dance with a woman because there are no good men to dance
with? Hmmm...no good men, wasn't that the title of a book sometime
back? Or was that a good man is hard to find or a .....say good night
Deby...